"Here." I placed my resignation letter on the principal's desk.
He looked up at me and shook his head. "I don't understand your decisions. The students here are attached to you. You are young so they feel closer to you and yet you decided to leave them."
I pressed my lips together. "I understand, sir. But it was my decision from the beginning itself. I always aimed to go to the...city."
He nodded with an understanding smile. "Well, life goes on. I hope you do well in the city." He opened my letter and signed it. And that was it. I was done with my job. It was my last day and...it was going to be hard to face my students.
I went to the staff room and took my seat. I looked around my desk that was filled with little sticky notes. I placed my belongings in a cardboard box and sighed. I had a last class with my students and I prepared to tell them the news. I walked in the classroom with a smile and greeted them loudly. The class turned silent and I had the feeling that they already knew by the expressions on their faces.
"So...everybody open your books to page thirty seven and-"
"Sir?" Mina interrupted.
"Yes?"
"We heard a rumor."
"What?"
"You are quitting?" She asked. All the students stared at me, waiting for my answer.
I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, it's true. I was about to tell you the news after the class."
The class started to murmur among themselves.
"But why, sir?" Mina frowned.
I shrugged with a smile. Seeing all their faces was making my heart heavy. "Leave that for now. Let me complete this lesson. Open the page I left last at." I said, trying to focus on the lesson.
The students were oddly attentive that day. Surprisingly, they were even interactive. Maybe because it was my last day. That would definitely be the case.
The class ended too soon that day and since the next teacher arrived soon, I didn't get the time to tell them officially about me quitting. I left the class with a heavy heart. I was surely going to miss all of them. I walked back to the staff room, shoulders slumped. My heart felt heavy as all their innocent faces flashed in my mind. I sat in the staff room for another hour, texting with Jeremy. Soon, school was over and I packed up, glancing at my desk for the last time. I told my goodbye to the other teachers and left.
As I walked in the parking lot, I noticed a crowd of students near my car. I was surprised as it was my class.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked in confusion.
Namu reached to take the box from my hand. "Sir, you were about to leave without goodbyes."
I sighed, watching all their faces. "I am sorry. I should have told you all before. Be good to your next teacher and study hard. Let's keep in contact." I smiled, a lump rising in my throat.
I watched as Mina's face darkened and she started to cry lightly. "We are sorry if we ever hurt you, sir."
I reached out to her and patted her back. "Don't cry. I will come to visit you all during your finals, okay?"
Mina nodded.
"Where are you going to work now?" Ian asked.
"Um...maybe continue my own studies in the city." I lied.
He nodded. "All the best sir."
I smiled. "Thank you."
"We have prepared a little gift for you sir. We couldn't do much but...here." Mina handed me a few envelopes. "Farewell letters from our side."
I clutched the envelope tightly and smiled, fighting back tears. "Thank you. You all should go home now."
They nodded, murmuring me good wishes. As they all walked away waving, I watched them with a smug smile. They all had grown up pretty well.
Back home, mom was in a hurry. She had sent people to arrange our apartment in the city and since it hadn't been used for years, there was a lot of work to do. I was to leave within two days and settle down well before starting work. Dad was home and called me to have a talk in his study.
"You have thought everything through, right?" He asked, leaning back comfortably on his chair.
I nodded. "Yes, I am sure I want to do this."
"Well, you know you are my only son. Your elder sister doesn't want to look after my business and Puai is too young. I thought you will be the heir but you aren't interested either." He paused to sigh loudly. "If you get tired of your job, you can just sit at home and look after business. You don't even have to work so hard, son. I did all of this for you all."
"I understand, dad. But this is something I want to try. Let me try what I want. If I get tired, I will come back and look after business." I smiled.
He smiled back. "I wish you well, son. Do what you want. Your old man has always got your back."
The rest of the day was hectic as mom forced me to already start packing. By dinner time, I was exhausted. I ate like a wolf. I was famished and the food was delicious that I couldn't stop eating. By the time I lied down in bed, I felt too full and heavy. Maybe I ate too much. The rain started to beat against my window, filling the room with its romantic sound. I pulled my phone out and called Jeremy.
"Hi, dinner done?" He asked.
"Yup. What about you?" I asked, getting comfortable under the blankets.
"Done too. So what's up?"
"Is it raining there?" I asked, closing my eyes to listen to the sound of the rain beat against my window.
"Um...it did rain in the evening but not now."
"It's raining here now."
"That's nice. Tuck up warmly."
"I am." I smiled.
"So you're coming day after tomorrow?" He asked quietly.
"Yes." I replied drowsily.
"Well...I am looking forward to another enjoyable night with you."
I laughed. "That's all you gotta say?"
"Huh? Then what more do I say?"
I opened my eyes and frowned. What did he mean? Spending nights with me was all he could talk about? I was seeking more than just lusty nights. "Like talks about dates."
He was quiet for a moment. And it clenched my heart. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he was seeking for love. "Kwan..." He began slowly in a quiet voice. "I am sorry but...I am not ready to date yet."
I clenched my teeth. I should have known. Why did I sleep with him on our first meet anyway? Now, he was showing what he really wanted.
"Let's give some time to it. Let's get to know each other well first. I can tell you are a kind person but starting to date just like this isn't healthy for both of us. So try to understand what I am trying to say."
I took a deep breath and exhaled. He was right. "Yeah, you are right. Let's get to know each other better."
"Sex is too good with you so let's do it often." He said and I could actually picture him grinning as he said that.
"You horny bastard." I laughed.
He joined in the laughter. "So, tell me how was your first time? Was it with a girl?"
My heart fell as Kao's face flashed across my mind. The way he looked while in pleasure, the way he looked whimpering under my arms, the way he looked smiling with tears, the way he looked at me when our eyes met, the way he blushed, the way he acted shy...
"Kwan?" Jeremy called. "You there?"
"Oh? Yeah..."
"What happened?"
Without realizing, my body had gone completely frozen and cold. It was like a sudden rush of adrenaline and I felt weak. I squeezed my eyes together.
"Hey? Sleepy?" He asked.
"Uh.. no. No. I got distracted. Wait a minute please." I placed my phone down and rushed to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face and eyes and stared at myself in the mirror. I took some deep breaths before going back to bed.
"Hi." I greeted. My mind was drifting off to the past.
"You okay? Did something happen?" He asked in concern.
"Nah, I just went to use the washroom."
"Okay. Um so how is your younger sister? Is she still happy that you are leaving?" He asked. And I was thankful for that as it distracted me from the past.
We talked about random things till late night, sharing ghost stories, childhood stories, school life stories and university life stories. I started to notice that he was being careful around the topic of sex. Whenever it felt like the conversation was leading there, he would change the topic immediately. And it comforted me. At least he was trying to avoid it for me. At least he understood what topic he shouldn't touch.
I felt comfortable enough to fall asleep while he was still talking. He was a great story teller. I fell asleep while he was talking about his uncle. I couldn't process anything he was saying and fell asleep.
......