In the scans, his stomach filled, her blood sweeping down the oesophagus to puddle in his belly, rejuvenating him almost instantly. The blood was visible in her scans, but not the ink. She took another long swallow from her arm, now fuelled by her success, and pressed her lips to his once again, forcing him to feed.
He drank, gulping it down, one swallow and then another.
Helios's voice was shaky. "It's working."
Zen took from her sweetly, did not vomit a cascade of ink as he remained cradled in her arms. The process was tedious and painful, but the darkness crawled sloppier from his chest, almost phantom in its descent from his body. The ink stopped frothing from his skin, merely bubbling to the surface, slipping down new, growing flesh. Soon, the dark, angry tap seemed to stutter from rivulets to droplets.
It was fucking working.
With her blood she healed him as he broke, and somehow like bad fucking science it was delaying the dribble of ink, delaying his transformation. It fuelled him until he was strong enough for her to force her arm to his mouth. He latched on suckling hard, eyes clearing into the gentle hazel she was familiar with. His gaze met hers, confusion brimming, and then understanding flooded his features.
He pulled back, blood staining his lips red, shaking his head with a whine.
"More," she growled at him, hand to the back of his neck, forcing him down. "TAKE MORE." Her voice was ragged and raw, and it was a bellow that came straight from her soul. And he latched on obediently, a tremble in his eyes.
Rowan spoke from behind her, despair in his voice, "he can't keep taking from you."
"He's going to live," she snapped at him.
Helios's whisper was shaky. "When I first felt the transformation, Solar fed me his flesh and blood. It worked temporarily, but eventually, I still lost my mind. Eventually, I broke. We could try to cage him up until they come—"
Quinn turned to snarl. "You didn't have ink! You were still you. And you took what you needed from me, remember? You got better—"
"Zen's worse than me now," Helios wept. "He's not going to recover like this—"
"HE WILL!" She snapped, and the silence burned a pulsing beat. The silence had the weight of everything falling upon her shoulders. The shock of his transformation had burnt the fear away, but now it all came roaring back. The shock and adrenaline were settling and turning into a roar of pain and fear. "It's my fault," Quinn muttered, voice hollow with despair. "I didn't feed him. I didn't know." Blame them. "Why didn't you all fucking come to me—"
"You did, you fed him," Rowan said, tears had his voice cracking. "We all took from Elysian and Icarus. And Klaus was prepared for weeks. T-There was enough to last us all months in the event you died. We were ready for failure." His voice shook. "We had it all ready."
Quinn cursed. "Then why the fuck did he come on this trip?" They were quiet at that, silent. Zen's sips slowed. "God, Zen, you are a fucking idiot." But those words came out of her as a pitiful little sound. There were tears in her eyes now, fingers sweeping over his brow.
Fuck.
"You are an idiot," she repeated.
Her remaining arm cradled him closer.
"An idiot. An idiot. An idiot."
Now, the words were for her, blurred in her tears. Zen, beautiful Zen, beautiful warm, smiling Zen. Zen, who looked like the stars in the night, Zen who loved her so sweetly that she wanted it all to be true. Zen, who laughed like the sky, grinned like the sun. Zen, who she gave her fucking heart for, and he didn't fucking care.
Zen, who was the soulmate she'd waited for, for years and years and years. The soulmate she'd longed for when the nights and days were too painful. The soulmate she prayed for. And here he was in her arms. Here he was dying for her, dying because he couldn't let her die, dying because he'd rather die than kill her.
He let her go.
He wanted her to go.
She could hear him telling her, she could see it in his eyes.
Go. Go. Go.
Just go.
Just go.
Just go.
It sounded like love.
It felt like love.
She could feel his thoughts, drifting steadily from his heart to hers. His soul brushed against hers, oddly stronger than ever before, more honest than Elysian's mating bond, like a cocoon of trembling warmth. It quivered as her palm found his heart, pressed against the weeping void which should only feel like the sweetest of kisses and the warmest of sun's rays.
His hand was on her cheek, thumb brushing away the tears on her face.
She trembled.
She was the idiot who never left.
And he was the idiot who came back.
Her voice was soft when she spoke. "In my world, there were soulmates, people who were born with the broken pieces of a full soul. It was serious, a God-given fact. It was as serious as living and breathing. And people knew about it. There were signs, signs that if ignored would lead to a world of pain, hurt, and suffering. If they choose to hurt their mates and go against the bond, eventually they'll feel like they're dying, and eventually they'll want to die. Eventually, they do. And when one dies, the other will follow." Her voice grew shaky. "But some tried to break those rules, some of them ignored their soul, and some of them tried to forget and live. And I tried too, because who the fuck cares in this world? It didn't matter what I felt. It shouldn't matter, because my soulmate was already mated to a pack of six, my soulmate couldn't feel me, my soulmate didn't care."
Zen's eyes shimmered with tears, his drinking slowed to a halt.
"It didn't matter if I was burning inside," she whimpered. "It didn't matter if my heart broke again and again when you hurt me. You're not from my world, and I'm not from yours. I convinced myself that I didn't fucking care because I couldn't care. I couldn't let it take me down. I had to live. And I wanted to live. I wanted so badly to live for myself, to survive." Her voice shook through a dry heave. "I didn't want to give everything away just because of soulmates that don't care."
The room was quiet, too quiet.
"You're right, you're mine," she whispered. "You're my soulmate, it's written in my abilities. I've searched again and again. So many damn times. It's you, and this is the last thing I'll do for you all." Quinn raised her head, exhaustion burning through her limbs as she regarded Rowan and Helios, who stood and stared with tears in their eyes. "Go grab a knife and a gun. Outside, there's a cooler bag and flare guns. You know what to do: climb up higher after this, find the penthouse next to the roof, and stay there."
"Quinn," Rowan had fallen onto his knees. "Quinn, please, we don't know for sure—"
"I'll take the chance," she muttered. "He's too close to the transformation. You're right, I can't last for too long. What am I thinking? Feeding him till I die is the same fucking thing."
Helios spluttered. "But you said it couldn't be true."
She couldn't help herself; her anger roaring forth to snap at him. "But there were three successes. Three, and no other cure. Once Zen dies, all of you are going down in days. I'm taking the fucking chance when my heart's still beating properly and I'm not a dead bloodless corpse." She cracked a grin. "Just don't throw yourself off a damn building like all the other idiots."
Rowan roared. "Don't be fucking impulsive it's your life. We can't just—"
"You're kings!" she snarled, and he was right she was being impulsive, going fucking crazy with despair. "You can't fucking die, and I just told you if Zen dies, I basically fucking die too! So fuck it! Fuck it all. Fuck this world." She slid her hands up, Float hovered before her. "If you're not going to go grab it. I'll do it myself." Her hands waved over the screen, a gun materialising in her hands, shakily, she moved it to her head. A knife fell from the air, clattering to the ground. "Remember what I said. Do it, take everything essential and then climb. The Lonely must have heard us. They'll come."
Helios's voice went shrill. "QUINN—"
The gun was knocked from her hands. She was pinned to the ground now, and she stared up in shock at a panting Zen. But it was not his sudden rush of strength that surprised her, but the warm splatter of his tears raining upon her cheek.
"IT'S NOT HEARTS", Zen screamed, voice raw, sobbing over her. His expression crumpled into despair. "It'll be useless. You'll be useless. I'll transform immediately. It's not hearts. It wasn't. It never fucking was, those scientists lied. Everyone lied. When you die, I die. Just like Hyon."
"Zen…"
"HYON'S FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS HEARTS!" Zen wailed. "HE'S FUCKING DEAD BECAUSE WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS HEARTS! WHO THE FUCK KILLS THEIR LOVED ONE TO SURVIVE?"
He heaved as he spoke, shaking over her, eyes bright with a strange gold. And it felt as if her world had slowed to a halt.
"And I've had your heart. We've all had it before. It was the same fucking heart. THE SAME FUCKING HEART. You've never changed! IT'LL NEVER FUCKING CHANGE." Zen panted through his screams, hands shaky as they clasped against her wrist. "You've always been Euodia, and four years ago, we've already eaten your goddamn heart."
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