Today is the day that Henry will be the first round of auditions for the role of Columbus in Zombieland
He's currently walking down a hallway following the signs of where the audition will be held in
He's already passed through a few rooms and hallways where auditions for other films are happening, and the entire building is filled with actors, he's seen a lot of personalities today that actors typically are desperate and hungry
Henry thinks to himself "It was a good thing I accepted, Jeff's offer or else I probably would have ended up like this If I blindly entered'
Everyday while staying in Los Angeles he's reminded of his fortune in encountering an agent such as Jeff Lewis
Speaking of Jeff he cannot accompany him today because of his other clients, so that's the reason why he went to this audition alone
After a few minutes of walking he finally reached the room designated for Zombieland, he enters and sees the room filled with a bunch of people almost to the point of suffocation.
When he entered someone suddenly walked out of there chair with a disheartened look, maybe he's chosen to give up because of anxiety or fear of failure or maybe he's annoyed by the long line or just needs to take a shit
When he went to stand up a person suddenly sat down, beating a few others close to it
'We really are kind of animals' Henry says to himself in his head
He approaches a person holding a clip "Hi good afternoon, I'm here to audition for Columbus, my name is Henry Stein"
"Give me a minute" a young man wearing a hat says to him and starts flipping pages looking for Henry's name "Stein Stein Stein Stein" Henry mumbles while looking
He finally finds his name written on the paper"Ah here Henry Stein, your agent is Jeff Lewis from WME?" He asks for confirmation
"Yeah" Henry responds
A small few heard what agency Henry is from and glances at him judging him for a few seconds at the most before losing interest
"Alright take a seat–or I guess a wall to lean on" the staff walks away
"Thanks" Henry smiles politely and scans the room for a place to get comfortable in
There seems to be no chairs available so he chose to position himself against a wall near the entrance
He noticed that the actors inside the waiting room all had different features from handsome to not so handsome, and also varying ethnicities black, white, latino, asian, and some others he's not sure of, the majority of them are still white but a good portion of them are from different races.
The script never specified what ethnicity Columbus is, so after thinking about it, it's normal for a wide range of physical to attributes come together.
'Let's focus' Henry starts to re-read the script again, he's heard that to succeed in an audition you have to stand out in some way
He's heard this from every actor he's talked with, from the actors in The Pacific to the actors in (500) Days of Summer
So during the preparation for the audition Leon and him thought of a way for him to stand out without diminishing the quality of his performance
They chose to have Henry play him as a socially awkward nerd like in the script but also adding small moments for his charm to shine
Leon emphasized to give the character detail from the way to talk, walk, run, look, all with the goal of adding soul to him
And so Henry diligently re-reads the script and keeps visualizing what he's going to do
And while doing this he could slightly hear the sounds of those auditioning inside
2 hours later...
The staff shouts"Henry Stein!"
Henry is suddenly broken away from his concentration and replies "Here" while raising his hand
"Come in" the gestures him inside
He enters the room and sees a table of three
"Alright in this scene you're running away from a zombie" John Papsidera the casting director for the movie says to him without any politeness
"Stand here on the x, first say your name and representation into the camera here" a staff member points
Henry aptly follows the instructions
"Henry Stein, representation Jeff Lewis, William Morris Endeavor" he says straight into the camera
"You can start" someone signals him
He pauses and breathes for a second before finally acting
He starts to run around in circles maintaining his expression of desperation and fear without putting too much strain on his face, he was warned not to overdo it
And the running and other quirks he's acting out right now is what he and Leon have been rehearsing, for the last few weeks
"Alright stop, do you have the rules memorized?" the casting director asks
"Yes sir"
"Alright, recite them until rule 3"
For a split second Henry thinks to himself whether he should just do the voice or in character he chooses to the latter
He starts reciting them in character like he's having a conversation with the camera
"And why am I alive,
when everyone around me had turned to meat? It's because of my list of rules. Rule#1 for survival in Zombieland...
is "Cardio". When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first one to go were the fatties.
Poor fat bastard!
As the infection spread
and chaos grew...
It wasn't enough
just being fast on your feet. You'd have to get a gun and learn how to use it.
Which leads me to my second rule
"The Double Tag" In those moments when you're not sure
that the 'undead' are really dead-ed
Don't get off stingy with your bullets.
I mean one more clean shot to the head.
And this lady could have avoided
becoming a human happy-meal.
Woulda? Coulda?
Shoulda?
It wasn't long before
the zombies began to get clever. When you are at your most vulnerable,
somehow they could just smell it.
Don't let them catch you
with your pants down.
Rule #3 "Beware of Bathrooms"
As zombie began to outnumber humans
That's when you have
to cut all emotional ties
If the girls in your neigborhood are now
fucked up little monsters,
Oh, maybe it's time to stop
driving car pools."
Throughout the entire monolgue, he maintains an air of lecturing, like emphasizing the importance of the rules while still being awkward and nerdy about it.
"Alright thank you today Mr. Stein we'll be calling you soon" smiles the casting director
"Thank you for the opportunity" Henry being polite walks out calmly and heads to the exit of the waiting room
Henry feels satisfied and happy with his performance today and just so very happy, and he felt so excited while he was auditioning, almost like a rush
To be continued