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"Hoo, hoo, hoo."
In front of Yoo In-ha's apartment…
She was gripping the door lock, taking deep breaths like she was about to face a fucking dragon.
Jesus Christ, how big is this thing to make her *this* nervous?
My heart started pounding like a jackhammer.
"We… going in?" I asked.
Yoo In-ha nodded, her face tense as hell.
She said she'd stocked up on bug spray and shit. All we gotta do is spot it and squash it.
But… what if the spray doesn't kill it? What if it goes berserk? Fuck… *gasp*…
*Beep-beep-beep. Ding.*
The door swung open with a cheery sound.
Come to think of it, this is my first time at In-ha's place. Not like I ever had a reason to come here, but somehow I'm stuck dealing with her bug crisis.
"Hoo, hoo."
In-ha crept in, still on edge.
The entryway… thank fuck, no giant bug ambush waiting for us.
I stepped inside, on high alert.
For a studio apartment, it's pretty spacious—maybe 8 or 9 pyeong. And it's clean as hell, just like In-ha's anal-retentive personality. Fancy little accessories were scattered around, catching the eye.
Damn, I've never seen a studio this neat.
"Where… where'd that fucker go…?" In-ha muttered, her pupils shaking like she was in an earthquake.
Probably crawled under some furniture or some shit.
I grabbed a can of bug spray and a massive book. If we don't kill it in one shot, we're fucked.
"Wait, you left it here and slept somewhere else?" I asked.
"You think I'm crazy? I crashed at a motel, obviously. If you'd come yesterday, I wouldn't have had to, you asshole…"
…Fair point.
But why didn't *she* just kill it?
In-ha mumbled, "Wasted my money on that motel…" while scanning the room like a hawk.
I looked around too, but no sign of the bastard.
"H-Huh…!"
When the bug didn't show, In-ha started trembling like her mental state was in freefall.
Seeing the fierce Yoo In-ha reduced to a shaking mess was… kinda wild. Though, if I saw that thing in person, I might lose my shit too.
"Why not call some other guy? You know plenty of dudes."
"Fuck that! You think I'm gonna let my address leak? Why the hell would I bring a guy to my place?"
…What am I, then? Just some fucking errand boy slave?
I mean, yeah, inviting a random dude to your place is weird. Calling up some guy from class to kill a bug would be hilarious, though.
Guess I'm her last resort. Fuck my life.
"Where the hell is it, you fucker…?" In-ha gritted her teeth, pulling out her phone flashlight.
The beam lit up the room. Why do I feel like turning that on is a bad idea?
*Skitter-skitter-skitter!*
"AAAAH! THERE! THERE!!!"
The second she shone the light under the furniture, a bug bolted out.
*Gasp!*
Like the picture she sent, it was almost half a fist big. Okay, maybe not *fist*-sized, but it *felt* like it.
No, fuck, with those legs, it might as well be a goddamn fist!
"H-Huh…!"
My legs froze like I was staring down a fucking lion.
A bug this big… it's basically a goddamn beast!
My body locked up like I'd been hit with some low-frequency roar. A cockroach… fist-sized… like a fucking rice ball…!
"Joonhyung, what the fuck are you doing?!" In-ha screamed, stomping her feet.
The bug charged forward, strutting like it owned the place.
My brain snapped back. This cocky little shit—daring to disrespect the king of all creation, *humans*?!
*Skitter-skitter-skitter.*
"Pfft, king of creation? Kiss my ass, losers!"
That's the vibe the cockroach gave off as it barreled straight at us.
In-ha practically climbed me, shrieking.
"What're you gonna do about it, you pathetic fucks?"
This insane roach was coming for us.
Adrenaline surged. This little shit… lost its damn mind?
"I'll fucking kill you!"
One shot!
The roach skittered closer, and I raised the book, ready to end it.
*WHAM.*
The book slammed down, followed by a *crunch*.
…Crunch? How big is this thing to make a *crunch*?
I jumped on the book, grinding my foot. Die! Die! Die! Fucking die!
"Hah, hah, hah!"
In-ha collapsed, gasping like she was about to pass out.
I get why she freaked the fuck out now.
I was terrified too. If this was *my* place, I'd have bolted.
"D-Did it die? Is it dead?" she panted.
"It's… probably dead."
Smashed with a thick-ass book and ground under my foot? No way it's alive.
"The problem is…"
"Problem?"
"Cleaning it up…"
In-ha let out a strangled *gasp* and flinched.
I leaned down, pressing my ear to the book. No movement. It's dead. But it's so fucking big… the corpse is gonna be massive.
"Y-You're cleaning it up, right?!" she demanded.
"I… don't think I can…"
I don't have the balls to face that body.
She freaked, grabbing me. "Why?! Why?! Clean it up! I can't live with that thing!"
"It'll haunt my dreams, In-ha. My fucking *dreams*."
"No! NOOO! Please! I'll die! I'm begging you!"
The high-and-mighty Yoo In-ha, clinging to me, begging… it's kinda hot.
But hot or not, I'm too fucking scared. This is my limit!
"I spent 70,000 won because of you! 70,000 on a shitty motel! Clean it up!"
"It's not *my* fault, is it?"
"If you'd come yesterday, I wouldn't have spent that!"
Her math is some next-level bullshit.
But with her begging like this, I can't just say no…
Fuck… cleaning up that corpse might break my soul.
This bitch! Making me do this with no reward? Pay me with your body!
…Yeah, that's just a fantasy.
I glanced at the book. In-ha's eyes followed. No way. No fucking way.
"I can't. I'm out."
"NO! Don't go! You're not fucking leaving!!!"
I'm done, fuck this!
You should be grateful I killed it! Call a damn cleanup crew!
As I moved to bolt, In-ha grabbed my pants, yanking them.
Let go! You're gonna pull my pants off!
"I'll be good! I'll treat you right! No more bullying! No more nerd treatment!"
"That's the bare minimum!"
Like that's some grand fucking gesture!
She was dragging herself across the floor, practically spitting blood.
"I'll die! I'm telling you, I'll die! You wanna get fucked up?! Stop!"
When begging didn't work, she switched to threats.
My nerd DNA flinched, but I couldn't stop. This is too much, fuck!
"I'm out."
"H-Huh!"
In-ha, dragged to the door, gasped like she was about to faint.
She's really gonna pass out. But I can't do this! Killing it was enough—cleaning it up will haunt me forever!
"A wish."
She grabbed the door, desperate. "I'll grant you a wish. One wish."
"…A wish?"
My body reacted before my brain could.
Those wishes the delinquents used to lord over me… "I did this for you, so you owe me a wish, nerd!" That kind of wish?
Why am I… tempted?
"No, wait, I'll buy you food. Food!"
"…I'm going."
"A wish! I'll give you a fucking wish!"
Trying to bribe me with a meal? Fuck that.
Back in high school, I'd have cleaned it up without a peep. But not anymore. Though, if Juha asked, I'd probably do it without question…
"Promise?"
"Fine, fuck!"
Should I record this or what?
Getting a wish from Yoo In-ha… damn.
I was gonna clean it up eventually, just… not today. Killing it already fried my brain.
"Hoo… hup…"
I turned back to the book.
Hero Cockroach. Planet-destroyer-level bug. Time to face its corpse.
I lifted the book slowly.
*Schlick.*
A sickening sound.
In-ha clung to me, peering down.
*Schliiiick…*
A half-smashed Hero Cockroach, oozing some mystery goo.
I dropped the book.
"I'm out. Sorry. Deal's off."
"You FUCKER!!!"
*
"H-Hup…"
"Heehee."
My mental state…
Cleaning up that planet-destroyer bug was… fucking brutal.
Killing it was nothing compared to the cleanup. That massive wreckage… the mystery goo…
Lifting that squashed, sticky corpse… it's gonna haunt me for years.
"Hmph."
This bitch…
In-ha was all smiles, like a weight had been lifted.
Of course she is—I scrubbed up all that yellow goo.
But it wasn't for nothing. I saw a rare side of In-ha, and I scored a wish. That's right… I avenged the nerds.
Errand Boy Alliance, you seeing this?
"Yo, get in."
In-ha smugly tapped a car.
A brown Carnival van. What's this? Did she buy it? Nah, doesn't seem like it.
"Got it from my uncle. I'm a car owner now, bitches."
"Nice…"
It's kinda cool. A bit old-school, but having a car's something.
Doesn't suit In-ha at all, though.
"Sweet, right?"
Honestly, it's kinda beat.
But it's clean, probably polished to death. Smells nice too—knowing In-ha, she scrubbed it and drowned it in air freshener.
"Chill, asshole. I'll buy you coffee."
"Mm…"
My soul's still not back in my body.
"You're a man, huh? Useful, Joonhyung."
"…"
Get some fucking traps.
I sighed, buckling my seatbelt.
Something feels… off. Didn't she just get this car?
"You… drive okay?"
"Huh?"
Her reaction was slow.
Then she burst out laughing. "I'm a fucking pro."
"…"
Why's she avoiding my eyes?
Her face crumpled at my skeptical look. "You don't trust me, asshole? Huh?"
"No, it's not that…"
She's not using me for driving practice, right?
I gripped my seatbelt tight.
I'm not dying before I cash in that wish!