I FELT the cold embrace of the breeze in the middle of the dark night and the deserted street. I understood what he wanted to convey. For the first time, he wanted to experience having a friend.
I still stared into his eyes, wanting to find the Sebastian I had created to hinder the rebel group's intentions and even the love between the two protagonists in this story. "W-why?" was the first word that came out of my mouth. I didn't know why he was like this.
He was surprised by my answer, "Why do you want to trust me?" I felt even more guilty. If only he knew that I was the reason why he was sad and alone.
"Because I also want you to trust me. I know you are struggling. You are a member of the bandits but you must abandon them to save the owner of this Panciteria" he replied then bowed and stared at his shoes.
I couldn't speak, I didn't think he was thinking about my situation right now. He took a deep breath then looked up at the shop sign that said Panciteria ala Pacita.
"You probably think I'm a bad person now because I'm scaring you but for almost a decade now, the government has been unable to trace the whereabouts of Don Imo's family and his followers. It seems like the heavens are protecting them and destiny is on their side," he continued, then looked up at the sky. The stars were shining, giving peace to the quiet night.
"As a member of the bandits, I know it's not that easy for you to abandon them. Freedom is your goal, isn't it?" he said then turned to me, his gaze as if he wanted to convey something. I took a deep breath then sat down three steps away from the door of the Panciteria.
He also sat next to me but we were half a foot away from each other. "Peace is what I want. Peace and development are what the government wants" I turned to him, he was still looking at the stars. He was still Sebastian Guerrero, the character I created to defend the government in this story.
"What if I suddenly disappear one day? What if I can't do what you want to happen? What about Aling Pacing and Mang Pedro?"
He looked at me. "I will find you no matter what" he replied, my heart seemed to suddenly stop beating when he said that. "And I will punish you" he added, but at that moment I caught a glimpse of his smile and a soft laugh for a moment.
I don't know but I just laughed, this Sebastian knows how to joke too. "Until the end, you're still talk about punishment" I replied and we both laughed. I don't know what's funny but I'm just happy because Sebastian can now joke. And despite all that, I feel like he's slowly opening his door to other people.
"TANYA, come and have breakfast" Aling Pacing called when she knocked on the door. "Yes, I''m coming" I replied while still staring at the sketch of Sebastian that I had made earlier. I was now sitting at Amalia's study table and trying to think about the events, especially the conversation Sebastian and I had last night.
I put the sketch on the table then took a new piece of paper, dipped the pen in ink then wrote on the paper the characters in my novel and their main roles. When I was done, I matched each character again.
If I help Sebastian suppress the rebels, it will ruin the flow of my story. The rebels cannot be eliminated and the government can rule. What he and Lorenzo are fighting for will be pointless and it will not be good for the story that evil has ruled.
The lesson in this story reflects our ancestors who fought bravely to achieve Independence. And if I help Sebastian, I myself will be destroying the story I wrote.
I'm so confused, what if I just run away? While I'm here in the story, I have to hide and stay away! But what about Aling Pacing and Mang Pedro? They will definitely be ruined because of me, they won't die in this story but it's possible that something bad will happen to them if I run away.
I went downstairs to have breakfast, and Aling Pacing, Mang Pedro, Lolita, the cook Lucia, who is Lolita's mother, and Mang Hener, who butchers chickens, pigs, and cows, were already there. They were eating heartily while talking about the upcoming celebration that would be held at Sebastian's home.
"What will happen at the celebration? It's not Don Antonio's or General Sebastian's birthday," Aling Lucia said while drinking coffee. We were in the kitchen eating next to large pots and ingredients that were already prepared there. "There's no occasion today and it's not even a Saint's feast day," Mang Hener added while taking a deep bite of the boiled chicken thigh.
"Maybe they just want to compete with Don Florencio's wealth" laughed Mang Pedro, he managed to stuff two pieces of pandesal into his mouth. I just stared at the cup in front of me, everyone here was also a member of the rebel group. They had no idea that I knew that so I felt like they were avoiding discussing what would happen next in the group.
I still don't understand why I'm here inside Salamisim now. Do I need to make sure that the rebel group will succeed and they will achieve Independence at the end of the story? If so, why? Are the government forces, especially Sebastian's, getting stronger? I'm really confused.
"Tanya, sit here" I came to my senses when Aling Pacing called me, they were all looking at me now. I took the cup that was still empty then walked towards them and joined them in their breakfast.
"You, hija, what do you think, why would the Guerrero family hold a celebration in their home?" Aling Pacing asked, they just continued eating while looking at me now. I wanted to say that Don Antonio and Don Florencio will announce the union of their children, Sebastian and Maria Florencita.
I was about to tell them, but I realized I shouldn't spread the word, it was a surprise and it might reach Lorenzo, it might distract him. He would even use the celebration as an opportunity to enter the Gurerrero family's house and steal papers there.
"Maybe they just want to show off their wealth with Don Florencio" I replied with a smile, they just nodded but didn't seem convinced. They probably think now that I'm useless because what I'm saying makes no sense.
I am praying earnestly in church with Lolita. It is Wednesday, the church is open for those who want to pray. I don't know what is happening in my life but I pray to the Lord that I have not lost my mind.
I stared at the altar and sat down. Lolita still hadn't finished praying. I looked at the people around me, one by one, who were also praying earnestly. If they only knew that they were just characters in a story, would they ask to be real people?
A moment later, I saw Father Emmanuel walking to the side carrying a Bible. I looked at Lolita who was kneeling quietly and with her eyes closed at the altar. I slowly stood up and followed Father Emmanuel. He was old and walked slowly but his spirit was still very much alive.
He entered a room, I slowly approached the door and pressed my ear to hear what was inside. I was surprised when it suddenly opened so I immediately stood up straight. Father Emmanuel was looking at me in surprise, his skin was wrinkled and his hair and beard were white.
He stared at me for a moment, as if he recognized my identity. Not long after, he spoke, "What is it, hija?" I swallowed nervously, I didn't know why I was nervous but I was hoping that he would at least recognize me or think that I wasn't from this world.
"Ah, n-nothing. I just couldn't find my way back" I replied and started to step back. "S-sorry for the inconvenience" I bowed and turned around but was stopped when he continued speaking.
"Are you sure you can find your way back?" I turned to him in surprise. Did I hear correctly? Was there something he wanted to convey to me from those words? "You won't find your way back if you don't find out the reason why you're here" he was about to close the door but I immediately ran over.
"Wait a minute. Father Emmanuel" I called, he left the door half open while he still stood there. "Do you know me?" I said nervously, hoping he had some idea who I really was.
He looked at me carefully again before speaking, "I just saw you here today, are you from another village?" I flinched at his words. I thought someone would be able to help me get out of this situation.
"Just go straight down the hallway, take the farthest door on the left, that's the way out" he said and closed the door. I was left speechless and once again lost hope of finding the answer to why this was happening to me.
IT'S already noon, but Lolita and I don't mind walking in the heat, it's not that hot and we don't have an umbrella for the afternoon because we can't afford one. I wish I had just asked Sebastian for the umbrella he brought the other day.
Lolita and I stopped walking when suddenly a group of men blocked our path. We hadn't even gotten far from the church and we were in the middle of the road. Were they planning to kidnap us? Many people would see them and their faces were not covered so I could clearly see how ugly they were.
"Are you drug addicts?" I asked as Lolita and I were getting closer, they were just grinning like crazy. Their eyes were red and they were chewing on something. Their faces and bodies were covered in scratches and scars and they looked like they were used to beating people up.
They laughed at my words, "It's true what they were told, this lady has a thick face," laughed the ugliest of them, who had a big mouth and looked like their leader. His men held their noses because the stench of his breath was so strong.
I grabbed Lolita and positioned her behind me. "What do you need?" I asked, but in truth I was also nervous. Are they also members of the rebels? Are they watching and following my every move? But it's impossible, the members of the organization aren't this dirty and scummy.
The bald-headed chief patted my shoulder as if he was gently pushing me, "This is what our boss said, if you think he'll let your insolence and big head get the better of you just because you sided with the general. You're wrong, because we're just waiting for a perfect time" he threatened, Lolita covered her nose because of the stench of his breath and more saliva spurted from her mouth.
I just closed my eyes in annoyance and pushed him away, we would die instantly from the stench of his breath. "ohhh you're a fighter huh" he challenged, his men immediately pulled out their knives.
."We can talk a meter away," I said, his breath really stinging our noses. "Our orders are, don't hurt you first, but you're the one who did it first, so we'll give you the trouble you're looking for," the leader insisted, accompanied by the "Yes, yes!" yells of his men.
They were about to attack us when they were stopped by the arrival of the soldiers. They immediately hid their knives. I also saw Sebastian riding a black horse. He was among the soldiers who were marching together in the middle of the road.
The people moved aside to make way for the soldiers and the general. The men who had blocked us quickly fled and ran away.
Sebastian stopped the march and positioned his long gun to shoot at the running men.
I close my eyes while i heard the loud screams of the men who were now being punished. They were all taken to prison and their nails were being removed at the same time. Lolita and I were standing on the side, she was leaning on my shoulder and I was trying to rub her back.
Five chairs were lined up in the middle, the men who had blocked us earlier were tied up and were begging desperately. Sebastian stood in the middle, as if he felt no pity for them.
"Why are you carrying knives? Do you want to attack the plaza? Where are the rest of your comrades?" shouted Colonel Eusebio, Sebastian's right-hand man.
"N-no. W-we have no intention of attacking the plaza. We are not rebels!" shouted the leader, who was now covered in blood. They had also been whipped several times earlier.
"Then how do you explain what we witnessed earlier? And why did you point the knife at these two ladies?" Eusebio shouted again and then hit the men again. They screamed in pain and repeatedly apologized.
"W-we don't know anything about the rebels. B-believe us," they plead, this is not in the story. No attack on the plaza will take place. We're not even halfway through the novel yet. I don't understand what's happening now.
"I only give anyone one chance. Tell me your true intentions," Sebastian said calmly, his tone serious. The leader was speechless, trembling with fear as he looked at Sebastian.
"Don Severino! He's the one who ordered us!" shouted a man who was with him. The three nodded, only the leader did not agree with them because he wanted to cover up for their boss, Don Severino.
Sebastian stood up properly then turned to me again, he didn't say it but it was clear that I had something to do with why Don Severino took such a step. "What? Do you mean Don Severino wants to rebel?" Eusebio shouted, the men immediately shook their heads in fear of being associated with the rebels again.
"N-no. T-the truth is, we're only going to teach that woman a lesson. W-we have no grudge against the government," the leader said, looking at me, causing everyone to look at me.
ON Friday night, the citizens were dressed up and happily walking towards the Guerrero family's home.
Everyone is invited, the rich ride in their chariots and are welcomed with great affection. While the poor walk around wearing their best clothes, even if their colors are faded and there are a few holes and seams.
I am among the citizens who are also walking today. Lolita is holding onto my arm. Aling Pacing and Aling Lucia are holding onto each other. While Mang Pedro and Mang Hener are holding the lamp that serves as our light on the road.
Other people walking also carried their own lamps. Everyone was full of joy and smiles because we were going to taste delicious food. We couldn't even go inside the Guerrero family's home because only wealthy families and officials could enter there.
Outside their home, there was a large garden where long tables were set, also filled with food. Ordinary citizens would gather there and some musicians would also play.
"Will some soldiers led by General Sebastian also be attending?" Lolita asked, her face almost tearing from smiling so much.
We were already in line to get food. We were both wearing faded clothes and hats. The flood washed away the clothes I bought when the storm hit, I forgot to hide them properly, I put them in the trunk for fear that Aling Pacing would ask me where I got those beautiful clothes. She had no idea that Sebastian was paying me.
"Soldiers?" I looked at her closely, she seemed to be still excited. "Lolita!" I defied, she was surprised to see me looking at her. "Don't tell him you want to marry someone else" I said like an aunt ready to drag her home.
"Someone else? I don't have a boyfriend, sister Tanya" other people looked at us so I held on to her arm and whispered.
"You have a crush on someone, right? Niyong" she suddenly laughed at what I said. "That's gone, sister. Didn't I tell you that I don't care about Eugenio anymore" she shook her head and just laughed.
We slowly followed the line, Aling Pacing and Aling Lucia were ahead of us. "It's not possible, you have to like Niyong again," I pleaded while shaking both of her shoulders.
"Sis Tanya, I have no feelings for that man anymore. It's enough for me to see that he has no heart. He didn't listen to me when I begged him to find you at the general's. I don't want to stay with a man who doesn't care about the pleas of others," she replied calmly, then followed the slow flow of the line first.
I looked around, trying to find Niyong. He was definitely here now. The line was already long, even though it was moving slowly, just to get to the long table full of food. There were a few waitresses there to remind everyone not to take too much and to maintain order.
There are also soldiers on guard to ensure peace. Some musicians play guitars, drums, and tambourines. Some women and men in the middle happily sway to the music.
I looked up at the large mansion of the Guerrero family, from there we could also hear the happy laughter and chatter of important guests. I never saw Sebastian again after what happened in prison, nor did I talk to him about what he was going to do with Don Severino's men.
Don Severino wants to get revenge on me for what happened before and Sebastian has sided with me. I don't know what will happen but I'm sure that Sebastian and Don Severino shouldn't be enemies because they will be allies in the end.
A moment later, I saw Niyong enter the back of the mansion. I quickly mingled with the people and secretly followed him. "Niyong!" I called when he entered the kitchen. The soldier who was there let him in, he turned to me but the guardia civil who was guarding there stopped me.
"Nyong, I have something to say to the general!" I said, Niyong nodded to the guard, who did nothing but let me in.
The kitchen was shrouded in thick smoke, and the cooks are busy in the kitchen. Niyong and I quickly passed by and headed for the bottom of the stairs. "What are you going to say to our señor?" Niyong asked, trying to look at the guests inside. I was sure Lorenzo and Berning were already mingling there.
"Huh? Ah, I just want to talk to Sebastian. I just want to know something" I replied, Niyong's forehead furrowed.
"What is that, binibini?" I looked at him. "Just... It's a secret again," I still tried to find Lorenzo and Berning in the crowd.
"Si-ret?" he thought about what I said. I just took a deep breath and relaxed,
"Didn't I tell you to give Lolita the ornament we bought last time?" he scratched his head. "I don't want her to think anything of it. We don't really know each other," he insisted, as if there should have been an improvement in their relationship by now.
I was about to speak when the bathroom suddenly opened. I immediately hid behind the large statue of an angel positioned on the side of the stairs. "Oh, Niyong, Señor Sebastian has been looking for you for a while now," said a young man who also seemed to work at the mansion.
"Where is he?"
"He was on the rooftop with Don Florencio and Señorita Maria Florencita" she replied and he and Niyong left together, Niyong even turned to me one last time but he couldn't do anything when his companion put his arm around him.
I slowly emerged from behind the statue, I needed to get to the second floor of their house to make sure Lorenzo and Berning could get in. They needed to get the papers from Don Antonio's office now.
I immediately went to the kitchen and pretended to be a waitress again. But I couldn't help but feel nervous because my clothes were so faded and full of seams compared to the clean clothes of the waitresses today.
Everyone was having fun, the loud laughter of Don Florencio and Don Antonio was the dominant one. Don Severino was also next to them, who was constantly eating ice cream. The women and men were dancing in pairs in the middle to the fast and exciting music. The children were running around the living room and their guardians were chasing them.
I quickly climbed the stairs without anyone noticing me. I also saw Sebastian and Maria Florencita on the azotea with Maria Florencita's friends. Everyone already knew that the two of them had reconciled, the two Dons had announced it earlier but we didn't catch up because we arrived late so we ended up eating.
I hid in a room near the stairs. I opened the door a little to peek at the arrival of Lorenzo and Berning who would soon enter Don Antonio's office which was in the room next to where I was hiding now.
Not long after, I saw two shadows coming up the stairs. They were barefoot so that their every step would not create any noise. Berning first grabbed the door and opened it with a thin knife that would fit the keyhole. Berning was good at such tasks.
Lorenzo followed him, both their faces were covered but I knew them well. They had already entered the room, I was the one who was nervous for them. This had to be successful because the course of the story depended on it. They had to get out alive and well without Don Anotnio finding out that he had lost some important papers.
I came out of the room I was hiding in and slowly crawled towards the office. They had been there for a few minutes, if they still couldn't find it, I'd just point them out. The papers were in a trunk under the cabinet.
A few moments later, I saw Sebastian walking up the stairs. I immediately entered the office. Lorenzo and Berning looked at me in surprise, pointing their knives at me. I raised both my hands, "I-it's me, Tanya" I began, but they were still not convinced that I was on their side.
"The papers you're looking for are there," I pointed to the trunk under the closet. Berning immediately took it and opened it. He nodded to Lorenzo when he confirmed that those were the papers they were looking for.
"Hurry up! Sebastian is coming!" they looked at me in surprise again and immediately arranged their things. This shouldn't happen, they should be able to get out of here safely without anyone noticing.
I immediately ran to the window and opened it. "Quick! Escape!" Berning climbed up to the window first and quickly clung to every nook and cranny of the house to reach the lawn below. The back was a garden and there was no one there.
Lorenzo also climbed up to the window but before he came down he looked straight at me, "Thank you, Tanya" he said, I nodded in response. They need to escape from here immediately because the story will be ruined if they are caught.
Before the door even opened, I quickly closed the window and stood in front of the books and pretended to be looking for something there. The door opened, I immediately turned around, I wasn't wrong, Sebastian had arrived.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, I couldn't read his eyes. "Ah, I'm looking for that... That book without writing you showed me" I replied, I couldn't feel my legs that were now shaking with nervousness.
He entered and closed the door. "Why are you here?" he asked again as he slowly walked towards me. I continued searching through the books because I was avoiding his eyes searching for the truth.
"I-I'm waiting for you here. I was going to borrow that book" I just closed my eyes while turning my back to him, I couldn't help but to stutter. He would be even more suspicious. I felt him stop behind me.
I couldn't help but turn to him. I saw him looking at the window, which was now closed. Was he suspicious? Did he think someone else had gotten in? But he shouldn't have been in this scene.
"That's not here. This is not my office," he said, looking straight at me. I just swallowed nervously, why did he seem to want to know something that I could read in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, I thought this was your office" I looked away, just staring at the lamp that was now lit and sitting on the table.
He bowed, "I brought you here the other day," he said then nodded to himself. Did he believe it? Did he believe what I said? Sebastian Guerrero, a wise general who was not fooled by anyone, easily believed my superficial answers?
He was about to speak when we suddenly heard two voices approaching the door. Sebastian and I widened our eyes. No one else should see the two of us. He looked around, there was nothing else to hide in his father's office but his desk. But it was dangerous there because Don Antonio might sit in the chair.
Sebastian grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the large bookcase. There were books at the bottom but only a few. I was surprised when Sebastian suddenly grabbed my waist and lifted me up to the large bookcase. He followed and climbed up there then closed the bookcase door.
My back was pressed against the wall of the closet while Sebastian stood very close to me. My neck almost broke because his chest was pressed against mine. I was only up to his shoulders and I could now hear his heartbeat.
He was holding onto the ceiling of the closet and trying to balance himself so as not to fall because the moment that happened, the closet door we were hiding in would surely open and we would both fall to the floor. I immediately hugged him, wrapping my arm around his waist so he wouldn't lose his balance and fall.
It seemed like he was also taken aback by what I did, this is a historical period novel and this is not normal for a woman and a man who are not lovers or married.
I just closed my eyes as I hugged him tightly. I won't let Lorenzo, who is the protagonist of this story, hurt them. And I won't let Sebastian hurt them either, even if he becomes the main obstacle in the story.
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