When I came home, Dad wasn't there, but I didn't think anything of it. Mom was curled up sleeping on the couch, and it was clear that she'd been crying. I suppose I can't mediate when I'm not home, but soon I'll be leaving; I can't babysit them forever. They need to learn to reconcile without me...
With graduation approaching so soon, I met Mr. Ark every evening for the next 3 days to practice, some hours after school, and for a little while during lunch. I can't let my first performance be anything less than phenomenal,
"You've been spending a lot of time with Ark," Ibij noted during our last period, the only class we have together, hand-to-hand combat. We usually spar, but because school is ending, we're practicing choreography to show off the martial skills we picked up from our 3 years in school.
"Yeah, we're planning a surprise for the graduation ceremony in 2 days," I replied while laying my head on my knees.
"Oh," He smiled "I thought you were dating... or something," He admitted, bashfully. I could hear the relief in his voice,
"Why would I date him? He's a teacher, it would be weird!" I retorted with a snort. He laughed and said
"Yeah, it would," He agreed wholeheartedly. I then turned to him and said,
"If I was going to date anyone, it would be you." His face went red instantly, and I giggled. Ibij is sweet, Smoke is like a celebrity, he has a lot of fans, and I know I'll never be with him for real. This will be my first relationship, and I don't want to waste my chance with him based on a fantasy.
"I... like you, don't get me wrong! You're great, incredible but..." Ibij took a deep breath before continuing, "I don't think it'll work." He muttered, he sounded reluctant, and I could tell there was something he was hiding from me. It still hurts though... to be rejected, even if he's not my dream boy, even if it's obvious he has his reasons...
"It's fine, I was joking anyway," I responded, hoping I hurt him as he'd hurt me. Then I stood up and started to leave the room,
"Snowe! Wait!" He shouted.
"Where are you going?! Class isn't over!" Ms. Black yelled at my back, but I needed to be alone, if I sat in that seat any longer I felt like I'd suffocate. I hid under the stairwell and took several deep breaths, fumbling through my thoughts. Ibij was a sure thing, and if he stayed serious about me, an easy life was assured... I'd never have to worry about my family again. How did I mess up? What did I do wrong?
"Why are you hiding?" I knew the voice and looked up to see Smoke standing over me, smoking a cigarette.
"I... you're not supposed to be smoking in school." I chastened. He sat down beside me.
"I have to inhale smoke or my body grows weak... It's one of the side effects from The Essence of the Smoke choosing me as its vessel." Unlike me, Smoke's power chose him, and when it did, it changed his anatomy much more than most. His power potential is exponentially higher than 99% of the planet, but he needs to ingest smoke and poison to live ... so I guess there's a downside to power.
"I won't snitch on you then," I replied, and he laughed. Then he laid his head on my shoulder and whispered,
"I guess that means you're okay with me staying... right?" I heard him talking, but my mind was screaming... SMOKE TOUCHED ME! HE'S TOUCHING ME!!!!! He then turned and looked into my eyes, "Snowe?" HE SAID MY NAME! HE'S TOUCHING ME AND LOOKING AT ME!
"I don't care! Stay if you want!" I blurted, harshly. That sounded so cold... he's probably annoyed with me right now! To my surprise, Smoke held his cigarette away from us and kissed me, then he looked into my eyes again as he pulled away.
"Do you care... if we hang out outside of school too?" He asked while running his fingers through my hair... Is he asking me out? What the heck... I feel like a PC, and all my systems are crashing simultaneously! "Or do you like Ibij more than me?" His question snapped me out of it,
"You like me?" I mumbled,
"I asked you first." He replied, then he looked away from me and returned to smoking.
"I... like you more, but... Ibij is your friend..." Wait... is this why Ibij turned me down... because Smoke is actually interested in me? How else did he find out about Ibij's rejection so quickly? He was informed.
"I... like you too... you're cute." After saying that he took one last drag on his cigarette then he threw the butt down and it incinerated into dust. He offered his hand to help me up. I accepted, and this moment would be remembered as the happiest moment in my life thus far. "Your eyes... turned purple again." I really wish he'd stop pointing that out! When I'm feeling shy, my eyes are light pink; when I'm amorous, they turn purple to dark red, depending on the intensity. Yellow when embarrassed, Green when Jealous, dark blue when angry, and white to light blue when I'm relaxed, my normal self. (I know all this from observing my mom.)
After spending time with Smoke, I was feeling a lot better. It really broke my confidence when Ibij rejected me, but he only stepped back because... Smoke likes me. Smoke! It's the same Smoke that even teachers fan girl over. The same guy who never asks a girl out first. That guy has told me that he likes me. Me! I am the most confident girl in the world right now! I think it was obvious when I came to practice because Mr. Ark kept commenting on how much I was smiling,
"Keep up that energy for your performance, and everyone will fall in love with you," He stated, I felt like bouncing off the walls. My energy stayed high until I got home and noticed, my Dad still hadn't been back,
"Did he say anything to you?" Mom interrogated me. For the past 3 days, she hasn't spoken to me. She's done nothing but sit on the couch, cry, and stare at the door. That's when it hit me... He's run away again,
"He just said... he loved me," I answered, and Mom's tears thickened.
"That's more than he said to me. Caem didn't even tell me he was going out." When Mom is irritated, her skin becomes covered in sharp glass thorns, but she just looks sparkly, like her skin is made of gemstones. Before I chose Snowe, I looked like my mom, Her curly hair is as dark as night, smooth tan-brown skin. The only thing we still had in common was our Chameleon eyes, so I know without a doubt that she's furious right now. "He said he loves you and just disappears!?" When she yelled, all the glassware in the house shattered at once, "Before you were born, he said he loved me several times a day, we were inseparable... but now! He only loves you and he's sick of me?!" I can tell she's spiraling... Clearly, there were multiple signs, but that doesn't mean I know what to say to her. I feel like this is my punishment for letting myself get so excited about Smoke, I know what happens when I feel happy, it's never good.
"Mom... he'll be back, he always comes back," I reassured her, and that's when she got up for the first time in days, to slap me, the shards on her hands shredded through a layer of my skin. I fell and bit my bottom lip to keep from crying out, screaming would only make her angrier, I know that by now. My power is useless in self-defense, but at least I can make wounds cold enough to numb the pain. The best thing I can do is take the hits till she calms down.
"I thought things were getting better because he started being home more, and when you were singing, he'd be more patient with me, but I should've realized it was just you! You're the only thing he cares about." My skin was starting to knit back together, and that's when she hit me again, "Why you? When you're nothing but a pathetic little thing?!"
"Are you seriously jealous right now?! I'm your daughter! Plus he's not here with me either!" I shouted at her,
"Get out!... Find somewhere else to live, don't come back unless you bring your father. I'm sure he'll come back if YOU ask him!" She began dragging me out, easily overpowering me,
"Wait, Mom... I will move in a few weeks anyway! Please, let me find a home first... I just need somewhere to sleep." As I was talking, Mother was tossing my things out the broken windows, my clothes, instruments, and books. Once all my things were outside, she repaired the windows with her power. I put all my clothes in a pile and waited for her to open the door, but she didn't come out. She's telling me to find Dad; she probably thinks I know where he is. Mom has always been sickeningly attached to him; half of their fights were over him needing space and her not understanding that. It was hard enough just getting her to accept him working outside the house. She also hated him showing affection to anyone other than her, whether it was just kindness to a stranger or if it was shown towards me.
People passed by and whispered, but no one asked me what was wrong or offered to help. I need to do something, but I don't want Smoke or Ibij to know about my family situation, so I called Mr. Ark,
"Snowe?" It sounded like he had been sleeping,
"I hate to bother you, but... do you have a guest room? I... " I started crying as I struggled to finish my sentence, "I need somewhere to stay for a short while."
"...Of course... where are you? I'll come to get you." I told him my address, and then we said bye and ended the call... I don't want him to know what's going on, but... I wanted to hear his voice, so I called Smoke next. He's probably sleeping too... I thought that, but he answered after the first ring,
"Hello..." He even sounds wide awake,
"Hey, it's Snowe." He was quiet for a few seconds, then he laughed, saying,
"I know, I have caller ID." I blushed. Everything that happened at home had my mind so jumbled, I didn't know what else to say.
"You're right... I'm dumb, sorry." My voice trembled a little, though I tried to hide it.
"Snowe... don't apologize... You're not dumb. What's going on?" I didn't answer, "Do you want me to come see you?" Smoke? Coming here? Listening to my neighbor's gossip about me, and seeing how unstable my life is?
"No!.... I mean... I want to see you but... Now's no good..." He was silent again for a while before saying,
"Do you... want to come to me then?" Oh my God, Smoke! Phrasing?!
"I can't today... I guess I just... missed you." I admitted, once again, opening my heart up and being vulnerable for him.
"I... missed you too." It seemed my confession caught him off guard, but he sounded sincere. At that moment, Mr. Ark arrived.
"I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow," I said, trying hard to sound cheery
"Feel free to call me tonight if you change your mind... Good night." Then he hung up. The way he said good night sounded mildly seductive... I'm sure my eyes are turning violet again. Mr.Ark arrived about 1 minute after my call with Smoke ended.
"Hey, Snowe... are those your things?" He asked, pointing to the pile of clothes next to me. I nodded, then he started helping me put them into the bags Mom had thrown out with them. What couldn't fit, I carried in my arms. We flew to get to his place. His house was bigger than mine, all the rooms in my house were painted a different neon color, but all of his walls were White, as well as the furniture. He led me down the hall to a room, which was cluttered with books piled up on the floor and a piano, but there was a bed. That's all I need.
"Thank you... I really appreciate this... I promise I'll pay you back, somehow." He smiled and then waved bye while closing the door. I then lay down and fell asleep instantly. It couldn't be helped, I'm so exhausted... too much has happened today.