E L I S H A
The night in Paris was cold and clear, making the city lights shine. Alistair and I were at a fancy party for charity. Everyone looked nice, talking softly, and glasses clinked. Alistair was great at talking to people. He often put his hand on my back, which felt good and familiar. We were laughing about something small, his deep voice close to my ear, when I looked across the room.
And then I saw him.
He stood by the big fireplace, holding a drink. His dark hair fell over his face just the way it always did. France. I stopped breathing. He was talking in a lively way to a woman whose back was to me. His side profile looked exactly the same and still made my heart stop, just like in my dreams and bad thoughts for months. He looked just as I remembered, but seeing him now felt like looking at an old photo.
Alistair felt me stop and turned his head. "Eli? What's wrong?" he asked, worried.
I couldn't stop looking at France. My heart, which had felt much lighter lately, suddenly dropped. It felt like a heavy stone in my chest. All the good things I had built for myself felt unsafe just because he was there. I couldn't laugh anymore.
He moved his hand, and the woman turned around. She was a model I knew a little. She had a bright smile. France then tilted his head a little, something he always did when he was really listening. As he did, his eyes moved across the room and stopped on me.
For a long moment, we just looked at each other. His eyes, the color of warm honey, opened a tiny bit wider. His smile disappeared, replaced by a look I couldn't understand. The noise of the party seemed to get quiet. It was like time stopped, and only we were in the big, bright room.
My hand reached for Alistair's without thinking, holding it tight. Alistair, now seeing where I was looking, turned back to me, his blue eyes searching mine. He hadn't seen France yet. He only saw how quickly I had changed.
The world slowly came back. I heard the music, the talking. France's friend said something, and he seemed to snap out of it, looking back at her. But I saw him look my way again a second later.
"Eli?" Alistair asked again, his voice softer, bringing me back to him. "Are you okay?"
I made myself smile a little, trying to breathe normally. "Yes," I lied, my voice a little shaky. "Just... looking at the decorations."
Alistair looked at me for a moment, clearly not believing me, but he didn't ask more. He just squeezed my hand to make me feel better.
"You know," Alistair started, his voice quiet, pulling my attention fully back to him, "I've been thinking about this more and more." He leaned in a little, looking at me directly. "Our work together has been great, Eli. How well we work, the results... it's clear to see."
I nodded, my mind trying to catch up, still feeling the coldness of France's presence even though I wasn't looking at him anymore. "It has been good," I said, trying to sound as interested as he was.
"More than good," Alistair gently said, a small smile on his face. "It's special. And it makes me think about something bigger. A partnership, Elisha."
My eyebrows went up a little. "A partnership?" The word sounded big, important, completely different from the quick, scary moment before.
He nodded, his blue eyes bright with a new idea. "Yes. Not just for this next ad, but for a longer time. We could... make everything better. Imagine, helping to direct projects, being the faces of brands together. We could be the main people for many big jobs, together. We work well, Eli. Really well. You bring something special, and I think I do too. Together, we'd be unstoppable."
He spoke with real excitement. His words painted a picture of a future that looked bright and full of chances, very different from the sudden darkness that had just tried to take over me. It was everything I had been working for, everything I had told myself I deserved.
"It's... a lot to think about, Alistair," I said, trying to understand his words while also fighting the lingering feeling of France's look. My heart still felt a bit uneasy, but his excitement was catching, pulling me forward.
He smiled, a sure, helpful smile. "I know. But think about it. Before the New Year. It would be an amazing way to start a new part of your life, wouldn't it?"
He raised his glass a little, waiting. I looked at him, at his kind, honest face, and then my eyes quickly moved back to where France had been. He was gone. Just like that. The spot by the fireplace was empty. A small feeling of relief washed over me, quickly followed by a strange, empty feeling.
I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lasting feeling. "It would," I agreed, raising my own glass to meet his. The clink was clear, a sound of making a choice, of moving forward. Even if a part of me still felt like I was walking on shaky ground.