The dome of sand—a literal womb gifted to Gaara by his dying mother—shattered like a piñata.
My eyes locked onto his bewildered face the moment Rock Lee punched through it.
That expression didn't change, not even when the kick connected, smashing his second layer of defense—the one he maintained himself.
It looked familiar.
There used to be a rumor about Fugaku, back in the day.
Apparently, he cheated on Mom during an escort mission.
That same princess from Whirlpool requested him one too many times. Enough to raise eyebrows.
Mom had that same look—blank, betrayed—when she first heard it.
Even after the air was cleared and Dad became clan head, she brought it up during every fight they had.
**Betrayal, I guess?**
Did I wear that same look when *nee-san* slaughtered our entire clan?
…Maybe not.
Gaara spun like a tennis ball, bouncing off the ground and slamming into the already obliterated statue.
Dust and smoke clouded the air.
Senpai stood still, one leg raised, breath calm, the First Gate open like it was nothing.
Something moved in the haze.
A sphere?
A ball of sand?
**Did he actually turn into a ball?!**
*lmao…*
"That… smells like trouble," Naruto muttered, grim.
Senpai adjusted his stance and opened the Second Gate.
Blue flames roared over his body as Gai-sensei screamed at the top of his lungs, begging him to stop.
Senpai twitched.
**What the fuck is happening?**
---
**\[\[\[Graaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaq!!!!!!]]]**
The roar didn't come from a human throat.
It sounded like the earth itself tore open.
Some of us clutched our ears. Others gripped their kunai so hard the handles bent.
The Kage didn't move.
They watched.
So did I.
I'll admit it—
"This stinks of trouble."
I glanced at Senpai.
What will you do, Rock Lee?
Will you back off and leave this to the grown-ups?
Or…
Will you become the **new Blue Beast of Konoha**?
**Freak of Nature** versus **Defier of Nature**.
\**\[\[\[Iiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaa!]]]*
Senpai let out his iconic Bruce Lee monkey scream.
The blue flames intensified.
Blood boiled in his veins.
Skin tore from the sheer heat.
The Fourth Gate had been opened.
**Beast it is.**
Then, silence.
The flames settled.
His breathing… steady.
But the very air around him **trembled**.
Two monstrous hands burst out of the sand-ball.
But they didn't strike.
They crashed into the ground behind Senpai—bracing for something.
Black and yellow spiked patterns throbbed along the arms as they pulled *something* from inside the sand.
Gaara emerged with wild red eyes and a manic grin.
His mouth opened impossibly wide, twisting into a grotesque maw like he was about to take a bite out of Senpai.
**And then—**
Senpai chuckled.
All he did was raise a knee.
One clean motion.
A brutal, precise **knee to the jaw** that shattered it to pieces.
Gaara flopped back, sand spilling from his face.
And then, impossibly—he stood up again.
Still smiling.
The sand reformed, healing him on the spot.
**Shukaku.**
"Healing?" I whispered.
"Not bad… brat," came a voice—not quite Gaara's.
It was sharper. Rougher.
He cracked his neck with a grinding sound like a pile of boulders shifting.
"Not bad at all. Been a while since anyone gave this bastard a real scare," he said, stepping toward Senpai.
Rock Lee shifted his stance slightly, readying himself.
"Thanks to ya', I get to breathe fresh air again," the voice said, inhaling deeply through Gaara's mouth.
Naruto leaned in. "What the fuck is happening?"
"Shut it."
I snapped at him.
Not the time for explanations.
Whatever this is, it's bad.
Really bad.
**Shukaku has taken over.**
**Just like that.**
Just because Gaara was knocked out?
"What do you say?" the beast asked. "You attack next. I'll take it head-on. Let's have some fun before the old geezers shut this party down."
Senpai's muscles relaxed slightly.
"You'll regret it," he replied.
"Don't get cocky, brat. You even know who the fuck I am?" Gaara growled.
Senpai shook his head, deadpan.
"I'm what you call a **tailed beast**."
The arena tensed like someone snapped a string.
"I'm the **Ichibi**."
"…Cats and dogs have tails too," Senpai muttered.
A beat of silence.
Even the demon inside Gaara was confused.
It blinked.
Then burst out laughing.
**"Kiiiii hi hi hi hi hi! Kid… YES."**
"It's stupid, isn't it? One tail? What kind of shitty name is that!?" he spun around, arms wide, addressing the world.
"Maybe it's not a tail. Maybe it's a d—nah, never mind," he laughed, flipping the middle finger.
"But alas! That's the name I've got!"
He pointed straight at Senpai.
"You? You've got freak vibes too. What do they call you?"
"I am Rock Lee," Senpai replied.
"**Rock Lee**…"
The beast grinned wider.
"**Hard name.**
Let's fucking DANCE, Lee!!!
Come on!!!"
**And dance they did.**
Lee-senpai **moved**.
Just… *moved.*
One second he was here. The next, behind Ichibi.
His arm-bandages uncoiled like snakes, wrapping around the tailed beast's torso.
Then—**they flew.**
Senpai launched them both into the air with such force they nearly scraped the stadium ceiling.
> **\[Secret Technique: Leaf Hurricane]**
> A.K.A. the **Konoha Airborne Suplex.**
> …That's what *I* call it, anyway.
They came crashing down toward the concrete like a meteor wrapped in denim and rage.
Ichibi smirked the whole way down.
But then—
Senpai's brow furrowed.
The sand on the arena floor **swirled up** like a living net, binding both of them tightly mid-air.
The technique was supposed to let the user disengage right before impact.
**Supposed to.**
Now? They're falling together—locked in a deadly embrace.
Or maybe not. Who knows? It's called a **secret** technique for a reason.
Only Might Guy and that dead clan—Minu or something—ever tried it.
> **Lmao… Senpai's trying to suplex Ichibi into the floor… and Ichibi's not letting him pull out.**
He even locked his legs around Ichibi's waist.
**So… how the hell is he getting out of this one?**
Oohhh—
Senpai got a **knee in between**.
He **leg-presses** himself apart from Ichibi's bind.
Dude leg-presses 200 kilos on a casual afternoon.
With chakra gates open? This is **child's play.**
Even Ichibi's smirk **wiped off** at the sheer force.
Instead of crashing, they spun apart and landed gracefully on opposite sides of the arena.
####
"Hey!!" Senpai called out, pointing a finger.
"You cheated!" He dropped into a new stance.
"Oh, come on. If I took that hit, this kid'd be **dead**," Ichibi rolled his eyes.
"Don't you want the fun to last a bit longer?"
"I'm afraid I can't."
Senpai began to slide his way forward.
"...Too bad," Ichibi actually sounded *disappointed.*
---
Senpai **launched up**, aiming for an axe kick.
Ichibi braced, coating his arms in sand and **took the hit**, then **grabbed Senpai's leg**, spun, and **hurled** him into the stadium wall.
**Crunch.**
Senpai bounced off it—no hesitation—spinning with another flying kick.
But it was a **feint**.
At the last second, he pulled away and went for Ichibi's collar.
In one smooth move, Senpai gripped him by the shoulder.
But the fabric just **slid off**—like a banana peel.
**Wide opening.**
Ichibi didn't waste it.
His arm **morphed** into some kind of **sand-drill**—spinning, serrated, wicked.
He jabbed forward, aiming straight for Senpai's **kidneys**.
Senpai dodged—**mostly.**
A sharp line of red bloomed across his back. A strip of skin torn off like old paint.
But as he turned, he followed up with a **backhand** to Ichibi's jaw.
**Clean. Precise.**
But the beast didn't flinch.
"Wasn't that kind of weak?" Naruto scoffed beside me.
"Didn't even explode like last time."
"Going soft? Running out of gas, kid?" Ichibi sneered, flexing, still half-naked and grinning.
Senpai didn't answer.
He stood there—**unflinching**—blood leaking down his trousers like it didn't matter.
---
Ichibi charged.
But halfway through the sprint—
He tripped.
Literally **tripped**, staggered sideways, and hit the dirt.
Then tried to stand—
And fell **again**.
"Wow… what the fuck was that?" Naruto blinked.
"He's not poisoned, if that's what you're thinking," I muttered.
Then I casually turned and **punched Naruto in the jaw**.
He dropped like a sack of potatoes.
Way easier to show than to explain.
"You can heal a broken jaw… but you can't stop the brain from bouncing around the skull like a mad cat."
I couldn't help but chuckle.
Naruto growled, pulled a kunai to stab me—
And fell **again**.
**Gods, it's been a while since I laughed this hard.**
Kakashi walked in from nowhere, tapped a chakra point on Naruto's neck, stabilizing him.
Didn't even scold me.
He's probably too tired to care.
Too much weird shit happening in one day.
---
Ichibi rose, stacking sand beneath his feet to keep upright.
He growled like a dying badger.
And then—
**Senpai shoulder-threw him.**
Like it was nothing.
Like he was flipping a *child.*
Ichibi hit the floor like a sack of spoiled rice.
No movement.
The arena fell **silent**.
---
"Well…" a voice echoed.
Ichibi's body on the ground **crumbled into sand**—retracting like smoke.
He re-emerged from a fresh pool nearby, brushing himself off.
"Taijutsu was never my thing anyway," he shrugged.
Then pointed his finger at Senpai.
"You're good, kid. Ten years from now, you might've actually beaten me."
No hand seals. No warning.
Just a sudden **pulse**—
A **bullet of sand**.
**Crack.**
It blasted across the arena like a railgun.
**Hit Senpai square in the chest.**
**!!!!???!**
He dropped—**limp**—like a puppet with its strings cut.
**What… what just—?**
**????!!!!????**
No…
He—
"Oi! Theme!!!" Naruto shook me.
I snapped out of it.
Senpai's chakra was still active.
He wasn't dead.
But no Jōnin jumped in. No one moved.
They were **observing.**
A genin on the verge of death...
And the adults were standing back to **watch**.
Because this was more valuable:
Seeing a **fully-controlled or out of control jinjuriki**
"Look, assholes!" Ichibi shouted.
"I beat the kid up for ya' like the dog you want me to be! Don't I get a reward now?"
---
But Senpai stood up.
Still bleeding.
Still breathing.
Ichibi turned around, surprised by the crowd's murmur.
"You've gotta be **kidding** me. You wanna die *that* badly?" he groaned.
---
"What's he eating?" Naruto asked.
I squinted.
Senpai was chewing… gum?
After a second, his chakra stabilized. The violent surge of the gates settled into a steady flame.
"That gum... what's in it?" Naruto asked.
**"Curry of Life,"** I shrugged.
"The fuck is that?"
"Just something that brings people back from the brink of death," I said flatly.
"...Where do you *cook* that shit?" Naruto scoffed.
I tossed him a piece of gum.
Kakashi snatched it out of the air before it landed.
"Hey! That's mine!" Naruto lunged at him.
"You could've just asked," I deadpanned.
Kakashi sniffed the gum.
"...There's sake in this."