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"Care?" He asked chuckling. "Harry is brilliant; absolutely brilliant!" Severus said. "He's kind, mature, imaginative and calling him smart would be a dire understatement. He's absorbing knowledge like a sponge and still thirsts for more and yes, maybe I influenced him a little too and if I did, it's the single most important thing I've done in my life. Raising him has been a privilege, Lily, and I have never been more proud than anything I've ever achieved. He grew up great, don't you think?" He stopped and chuckled once. "He can design race broomsticks and he can remember every single detail, every information he has ever been taught, in the blink of an eye. And that's something that truly baffles me as he's the same person that forgets to eat when he's absorbed by said studies. So do I care about him?" He looked straight at her eyes to find them moist. "Lily, I love him as if he was my own. I feel like he is. Never doubt that."
And then she threw herself in his arms, holding him tightly, her head hidden in his chest. Severus eventually held her close, his hands tracing soothing circles on her back trying to reconcile himself with what was happening. He had spent years in his youth imagining and longing for such a scene but know all he felt was uncomfortable; this was a too much too soon sensation for him. And yes, he realized Lily was probably feeling thankful that someone had looked after Harry as he grew up -and that was too little too late, the potions master thought bitterly- but it had been years since they had spoken more than what consisted a polite greeting. He had no idea how long they staid like that before she asked;
"Do you ever think about it?"
"About what?" He lowered his head to look into her eyes. A few teardrops that had fallen were now dry as she blushed and elaborated.
"About what could have been if…?" His eyes widened in shock as he took a step back; he had feared she would think something along these lines but had never expected she would outright ask. It was the day of surprises it seemed.
"What about 'what could have been', Lily?" Severus asked softly. "Last time we talked -really talked- you were screaming at me -for good reason, I might add- and I was trying my damnest to apologize. That was eighteen years ago. Up to this morning I wasn't even sure you remembered me anymore." He had added the last part intending it to be a joke, but she didn't receive it that way it seemed.
"You thought I had forgotten you? Severus, I could never forget! I was hurt and…"
"Lily." Severus stopped her explanations. "I had a lot of time to think about it, trust me, and I would like to ask you something, if you don't mind." She simply nodded once. "The day I called you a… a mudblood," he spat the last part, the sting of his mistake that day not completely forgotten "I made a grave error, I admit it. But I apologized; Merlin knows how many times I apologized, only to have you dismiss me each and every time. But James? The same man you had claimed to detest for being a bully and change hallways when you crossed paths at school? You forgave him everything, just like that. I was your friend of what, eight years? Nine? I'm not blaming you for picking him over me, I'm just wondering; why didn't you just consider listening? Consider forgiving me?"
"I… Severus, I don't know what to say." Lily admitted, her voice thick and close to crying once more. "I was only sixteen and I had a crush; I wasn't thinking straight and James hated you back then. I think that was a time when I wouldn't have denied him anything." Severus chuckled mirthlessly and nodded.
"I had guessed as much." He assured her with a smile. "I just needed to hear it." And there it was, he thought, his mind finally free of that last burden. Closure.
"But you never answered." She insisted. "Have you ever thought about what could have been?"
"Honestly, Lily?" Severus asked back. "For a time back then there was nothing else I could think about. And when I had first met Harry I used to wish with all I had that he and you could be mine."
"And now?" She asked, placing a hand over his heart. He closed his eyes, trying to digest what she was proposing; he knew she and James weren't doing so well lately but for her to ask was, once again, unexpected.
"I moved on, Lily. I grew up. I will always care for you, you know that." He assured her, cupping her face. "But you're married and I'm happy with my life as it is. I can't be with you like that. And I don't think you really want to; you love James. I know you do." And it was easy to admit it now.
"I grew up too, Severus." Lily stated shaking her head. "Maybe James and I…"
"Lily, don't go there, please." He spoke calmly. "James and you have a family together."
"And Harry loves you." She insisted.
"And Adrian?" He asked as she bowed her head. "He needs you, Lily. And you wouldn't be happy without James, even if it doesn't look that way right now." If someone had told him a decade ago he would be having this conversation one day he would have them transported to St. Mungo's psychiatric ward at once. Yet here he was and here she was and this was real.
"How can you be sure?" She insisted, her hold on him tightening.
"How can you?" He deadpanned. "Lily, we can't be together. But I would like us to try and be friends again. Do you think we could give that a try?" Lily studied his expression for a few seconds before smiling a sad little smile; Severus could see it in her eyes. Whatever it was that had urged her to speak like that wasn't gone yet. But she had decided to compromise for the time being, knowing she couldn't change his mind. And how the wheels of fortune turn, Severus wondered as she nodded.
"We could do that, at least." She agreed. Severus smiled and let her go, grabbing his shirt and putting it back on, drying his still wet body with a quick spell. He stroke Kadar's neck and assured Ghaith that Harry would be paying him a visit soon as Lily observed him.
"Maybe we should return." He stated, his eyes falling on the setting sun. "Harry will be wondering where we are. And will be probably dying to come and see Ghaith."
"Thank you for giving him Ghaith." Lily said, her eyes straying to the magnificent stallion. "I didn't even know he liked horses, let alone war-unicorns."
"Harry is full of surprises, Lily." Severus stated cryptically, knowing that the time for the greatest surprise hadn't arrived yet. "More so than any other wizard I know."
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