Chapter Forty-Six – The Things We Can Never Take Back
It had been so petty of him to say such a thing. Petty, terrible, vengeful, and showing all the signs of impotence. Jamie hated himself for saying it, especially since it wasn't true. Cottontail had been the best fuck of his life in many ways, but it looked like keeping things nicely separated was a skill he had yet to master.
It fucking hurt. Cottontail, whose real name he still didn't know, was part of the larger scheme seemingly concocted by an evil mind to bring him down for reasons he couldn't understand. Who was the head of operation? Was it his bunny boy? He was smart enough to pull it off, but Jamie wanted to believe he wasn't evil enough. Or maybe he was just a damn good actor, and Jamie a major jackass.
Or, he thought, as he looked over his shoulder to stare at Wencel, there was someone else to blame. Had Wencel overheard Jamie's last phone call? It was difficult to tell. The guy didn't look like he'd moved from his place in the back, and his smug grin seemed armor he was ready to use as a weapon.
"Who was that you called?" Anna asked. "Your boyfriend?"
"No, not my boyfriend," Jamie said, working his jaw.
"You said some pretty hurtful things," Anna correctly noted out loud.
He nodded grimly. Jamie Vayne never left a debt unpaid. What about Jamie Wicklow? The son of scammers who put a lot of families at financial risk for their own gain? What was his story?
With a newfound determination, Jamie got to his feet and walked over to Wencel. The asshole smirked at him, looking like he knew all the shit worth knowing in the universe.
"Did you talk to Angus, Jamie? I suppose he cleared a few things up for you." Without getting up, Wencel stretched his neck to get as close as he could without highlighting his shorter stature. "As long as LiveFeed remains live, and until the fat lady sings, it looks like you're our bitch, Jamie."
"I thought you didn't use such crude words in that family of yours," Jamie said, letting the disgusting insult glide over him.
Wencel quirked an eyebrow. Jamie leaned over, so they were almost at the same eye-level. "Tell me, did you send your brother to prostitute himself so you could get dirt on me?"
There was a tick in Wencel's jaw, barely noticeable. Was his brother a weak spot in this asshole's armor?
"Shut up, manwhore. You're one to talk. You'd sleep with anyone."
"But I slept with your brother," Jamie said in the same low voice that seemed to irritate the hell out of Wencel. "Does that make him anyone? Are you two twins? Nah, you're clearly older, because you're no longer in school."
Wencel leaned back, showing off how bored this conversation was making him. "You have nothing on us, Jamie. So, you fooled my younger brother into jumping into bed with you. That only proves what sort of man you are. It's funny how you didn't get to see his face after all this time. By the way, he's had plenty of laughs on your account."
It was Jamie's turn to feel a muscle in his jaw twitch. "Did he say that to you? Are you a family of perverts or something?"
"No," Wencel said brightly. "No, we're not. We're a perfectly respectable family, unlike yours."
"Respectable my ass," Jamie growled. "You're feeding on dirt like a pig, and your brother's no better. Ah, that reminds me. Are you two writing that shitty piece of garbage called Xpress?"
Wencel looked like he was tickled pink by the suggestion. "Wow, it looks like you do have one working neuron or two, brawn for brains. Color me impressed."
Jamie had always been good at hiding what he felt. But he had an inkling that he wasn't so good at it right now. "You're not going to get what you want out of this, asshole. Mark my words. You chose the wrong guy to pick on."
"Famous last words already, Jamie? The war has just begun."
"Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Assistant. I've fought a lot in my life, and I don't mind putting my fists up again."
"Is that all you have, Jamie? You're all about surface appearance, though, so I can't say I'm surprised." Wencel shifted his position, a mannerism that seemed to surface whenever he talked to Jamie. He seemed incapable of staying still. "But if that's the case, why are you so angry? You're the ideal candidate for a show like LiveFeed."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Jamie set his feet apart wide enough to assume a menacing stance and stared Wencel down.
"You'd do anything to become famous. Why did you flaunt the goods on livestream if that's not who you are?"
Jamie leaned forward, placing one forearm on top of Wencel's bus seat. The asshole tipped his head back to maintain eye contact, looking ready to fight, although poorly equipped to do so. "I didn't do that to get famous," he said in a low, conspiratorial voice. "I did it because I have the body for it, and I work hard to have this body. I bet that's something you can't relate to, because you look like picking a rock up off the ground might leave you wheezing for breath." Jamie smirked as he noticed the effect he was having on Wencel. A mix of disbelief, anger, along with subtle excitement that Wencel struggled to keep hidden could be read on his weasel-like face. "Also, I needed the money. Can you understand that?"
"Everybody needs money," Wencel retorted. He spoke too quickly, biting his bottom lip, like he couldn't stop himself. "But they don't show their naked ass on camera for people to pay for it."
"It only happens that way because they can't. You think you're hot stuff, Mr. Assistant, but you have no idea how to get people to like you, do you? No wonder you found work in this nest of vipers. The only way you can squeeze some life into your tired show is to abuse the people involved. Tell me, don't you ever feel like puking your guts out after eating so much crap day after day?"
Wencel blanched. It looked like at least some of Jamie's words had hit home. "No. I'm satisfied with myself and my life." The words were too loud, too pitchy, to ring true.
Jamie grinned and pulled away. "I see. I have one last question, though. Why didn't you get close to me instead of your brother?"
"What happened between you and my brother was never meant to happen. It was an accident." Wencel became guarded whenever Jamie brought his brother up. "I wouldn't have slept with you, if that's what you're thinking."
"I wasn't thinking that," Jamie teased Wencel with all the cruelty he was capable of. "But it looks to me like you were thinking about it."
"In your fucking dreams," Wencel said through his teeth. Jamie could swear he could hear the sounds of the torture the guy's poor dentition was going through.
"What?" Jamie drawled. "Did I strike a nerve? It looks to me like you're far from being as invincible as you believe yourself to be."
He had a bunch of other things he wanted to throw in the asshole's face, but Jamie – Vayne or Wicklow, it didn't matter – was getting wiser. If he wanted to get out of this stupid situation, he needed to keep his cards close to his chest and plan his revenge carefully.
***
His brother wasn't picking up. Hearst had no interest in hiding under the blankets and wallowing in misery because Jamie had dissed him over the phone. In the world he had lived in from a young age, he had always found himself guilty of one thing or another, and if the past hadn't been enough to bring him down, it would take more than Jamie being upset with him to make him break down and cry like an idiot over his own actions.
What he needed to do right now was make things right. The issue of how had to be convoluted and required special skills. Like a reporter on a hot trail, he had to start from the beginning. What did he know? His brother was at the scene, obviously. Where? Jamie had used the word 'here'… which only meant that Wencel was riding the same bus as Jamie.
Hearst scrubbed his hands over his cheeks and then slapped them hard. Yep, doing the work made him feel normal. It had always done that for him; too bad the positive effects never extended to studying, and he had discovered at an early age that despite his ability to research a topic to death, he was a poor student.
He had to call Wencel. He needed to find out more about what LiveFeed was planning for Jamie. One way to do that, besides asking his brother directly, which could very well mean that he would get zilch no matter how much he insisted, was to watch what the fuckers were posting on their main feed. The modus operandi for the show executives appeared to be shady enough to raise questions – they often put their contestants face to face with situations they hadn't prepared the people in advance for, and they made it sound and look as if it was all genuine entertainment, trying for spontaneity and shit like that.
They most likely wanted to do that to Jamie, too, but what and how? The 'why' no longer mattered. Hearst hadn't managed to glean much from his short and hurtful conversation with Jamie, so he had to search for answers himself.
The main page of the show advertised the tour for the most part with some sound bites from contestants expressing their excitement about being included in the event. Hearst was about to give up when the page headline changed.
"A tearful reunion," he read under his breath, "they haven't seen each other in more than a decade, blah, blah, blah--"
There was no information on who the mysterious contestant was, and what reunion LiveFeed was talking about, but Hearst couldn't ignore the inkling nagging at the back of his head. He typed fast. The Wicklows weren't in any national news, so he needed to go local.
"Oh, fuck," he told himself as a brief mention in a small publication confirmed what he feared.
So, Jamie was pissed big time at the show producers because they wanted him to meet his mom and pop upon their release from prison. Hearst could picture the way those assholes had to be staging that reunion. A vulnerable Jamie waiting for his parents to leave the place where they'd been locked away from too naïve people for a good part of their lives. But the women's correctional facility wasn't close to that where Jamie's dad had to be. Would they do a prison tour? Wasn't that too depressing for a show that, supposedly, was all about shits and giggles?
That had to be it, though. Jamie couldn't be happy about meeting the people who had abandoned him at a young age, leaving him to fend for himself against a judgmental world. So, knowing him, why wasn't he just quitting? Was he really as vain as his stage name suggested? But Jamie wanted to be a musician, not a celebrity. Hearst knew that certain pieces of the puzzle were missing.
He'd have to figure out the whole play. If he didn't, the chances were that Jamie would punch someone in the face and end up in big trouble.
Despite the last words exchanged between them, Hearst like to believe he had his principles and would be guided by them to show Jamie through actions, not words, who he truly was.
Funny that he was thinking that way. After all, he'd kept his identity hidden for fear that Jamie would discover his true self. Now, that fear was gone. Yeah, funny thinking on his part.
***
"Did you manage to intimidate that asshole? Are they going to re-think our contracts?" Anna began bombarding him with questions the moment he returned to his seat.
"I don't think that's going to be easy. No. I just warned him that I'm not going to lie down and take it." Jamie sighed, some of his energy spent. "What did you tell me earlier? That I said some hurtful things to that guy over the phone?" He looked at her, without expecting much. He'd been an asshole. But whenever he thought about it, anger returned, hotter and more painful than before.
"Yeah, I mean, it's not my business, but you were right here, and I heard you loud and clear," Anna said, giving him a forced smile.
"I know why you think that, but this guy slept with me only to get dirt on me," Jamie explained. He felt the need to justify his actions, no matter how wrong a part of his brain told him they were.
"Are you sure?"
"Damn positive."
Anna appeared to take her time to ask him the next question. "And was he lame in bed, like you said?"
Jamie grimaced and looked away.
"You said that to hurt him," Anna continued. "And you know it."
"Yeah, that's right."
"So, was it true?"
"No, it wasn't, happy now?" Jamie puffed his cheeks out and exhaled loudly. "I got along with him just fine, yeah, sex included. But he only did it to spy on me. How would that make you feel?" He looked at his newfound friend, avid for an answer.
"Like crap, of course. Still, I don't think I'd lie to that person. I'd only tell them the truth."
"Why? Don't you ever get angry?"
"I do. But my mom always told me to take a deep breath and think carefully about the things I wanted to say when that happened. We can't ever take some things back."
Jamie snorted in self-deprecation. "Your mom sounds swell. My dad used to only be happy with me when I managed to sell fifteen or twenty fake subscriptions in a day."
"Fake subscriptions?" Anna asked, confused.
"You'll know exactly what I mean soon enough. These guys are bent on skewering me live. My mom and dad are getting out of prison. LiveFeed wants to document our tearful reunion."
Anna was staring at him, her jaw slack. "Do you want to see them? And prison?"
"They didn't commit any violent crimes, but they are masters of scheming. It worked well enough while they kept a low-profile, but large-scale fraud didn't count as that. They got burned, and they did it to themselves."
"How old were you when that happened?" Anna asked in a pitying tone.
Jamie offered her the best smile he could manage under the circumstances. "Too young, but old enough. Don't worry; I bounced back. But if I never see those people again in my life, it'll be swell."
Anna leaned forward and whispered, "And they're forcing you to do it, because of that contract they made you sign?"
Jamie shrugged. "It looks like they have all the good cards. And I'm the schmuck who had no idea he shouldn't have sat his ass at this table if he didn't want to be fleeced for all he had."
"If they're doing this to you, they'll do it to all of us." Anna gestured around. "Should we let the others know? I bet they have no idea what they signed up for, either."
"We're in the business of competing against each other for fame and fortune," Jamie said, sighing. "You're a good person, Anna, but I don't think I'll find much sympathy among our peers."
"Some might be jealous because you're good-looking and easygoing," Anna agreed. "But they must all have things they don't want put on full display. They will see that it can happen to them, too."
"I'm not sure how much time we have to convince them of that. And even so, the assholes running the show have us in a corner with their shady contracts. Do you happen to know a good lawyer?"
Anna shook her head with an apologetic wince. "If I did, I wouldn't be here."
"Yeah." Jamie looked ahead, filled with gloomy thoughts. "Which means that I need to think of something to save my skin. I bet you don't think yourself lucky now for sitting next to me on this bus."
"Why would you say that?"
"You know. The splash might get you, too. If they were so daring to put the papers they put under our eyes, convinced that we'd sign, that means they're pretty good con-artists. A confidence trickster will always show you only the parts they want you to see before they pull the rug out from under you."
"You saw your parents doing it," Anna said, her eyes filled with empathy.
"Yeah. It works so many times, it's going to scare you if you've never seen it before. At the time, I thought they were invincible."
"Kids tend to think that about their parents up to a certain age. It's not your fault, Jamie." Anna touched his arm lightly.
"Thanks, man," Jamie said, nodding a couple of times. "But I should've known better, given my background, right? Damn, I was a fool. Not that it's the first time in my life when that's happened. Like with this guy who slept with me. I should've known something was fishy. Actually, I thought that, but I believed I could handle it. Did I think I was invincible then, too? Maybe that's the problem."
"Or maybe you thought it would be the real thing this time," Anna said. "Or hoped."
Jamie gave her a surprised look. "Do you happen to work as a shrink in your spare time?"
"No, but I know how it feels to think that you have it all figured out, and then realize you didn't know a single thing."
"Wow, your life must have been tough." Jamie put his fist up, and Anna pushed hers against it.
"Let's not have that sort of competition. What matters is what we do today, right?"
"That's right. And today, I need to think of a way to fuck up LiveFeed without fucking myself up."
TBC