Note: This Chapter is Re-Translated on 6 / 15 / 2025
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Chapter 45: Kayneth – "Do You Have a Problem with Me or Something?"
"My receding hairline is a styling choice. It has nothing to do with water, thank you very much!"
The moment Waver opened the door to Kayneth's office, he was greeted by the unmistakable roar of his mentor in mid-debate—his voice echoing like an angry dragon.
He didn't even need to look. There was only one person who could get under his teacher's skin like that.
"…Ah. I was never here."
Without hesitation, not even a flicker of second thoughts, Waver turned on his heel to make a clean getaway and shut the door behind him.
Unfortunately, he was a second too late.
"Waver, where do you think you're going?"
Kayneth's sharp voice snapped through the air like a whip.
"…Uhh…"
Waver froze mid-step, his hand awkwardly frozen on the doorknob.
"I thought you were busy, so I didn't want to disturb you…"
Kayneth curled his fingers in a clear "come here" gesture.
"Get in. Now."
Waver made one last desperate attempt to avoid his fate.
"Wouldn't it be better if I didn't intrude? I mean, this seems like a high-level planning session between you and Lord Matou. What would a humble nobody like me even contribute—"
"If you keep dragging your feet, you can forget about inheriting my research in this lifetime."
"You always use that to threaten me…"
With a long, suffering sigh, Waver resigned himself to his fate and shuffled back inside.
This is for the sake of my research, he told himself.
But deep down, he knew that was just an excuse.
The real reason?
He simply couldn't bring himself to refuse his teacher.
He still remembered that day vividly—how the entire Clock Tower had ridiculed and dismissed his thesis. His defense had been airtight, his arguments flawless. But none of that mattered to the crusty old magi. They'd attacked him for his bloodline, not his ideas.
Only Kayneth had stood up for him.
Only Kayneth had recognized the value in his work and accepted him as a student.
Maybe it was just because of his potential, but even so… it mattered.
When everyone else treated him like a joke, like dirt that had somehow wandered into a noble estate, Kayneth was the only one who'd given him a place to belong.
Even if his teacher never said it out loud, Waver never forgot.
That trust, that support, that sliver of warmth in a cold and hierarchical tower of mages—he'd carry it for life.
That was why, when Kayneth abruptly gave up his prestigious position as Head of Mineralogy to become the Director of the lowliest department in the Clock Tower—Modern Magecraft —Waver had been the first and only one to support him.
Still, even loyalty had its limits.
And Waver's limit had a name: Shinji Matou.
It had been this guy's idea to convince Kayneth to abandon the department ranked fourth overall in the Tower for the absolute bottom-tier Modern Magecraft.
And every time he showed up, Waver's workload mysteriously tripled.
He didn't mind working hard—but he wasn't a masochist either!
In Waver's eyes, Shinji Matou was the Clock Tower's number-one bad influence, a walking headache for his beloved teacher, and the bane of his own existence.
If possible, Waver would very much like to avoid this demon in human skin forever.
Especially now—after he'd tricked Shinji back in Cannes by using Flora as bait—he was very worried about what kind of revenge the guy might have planned.
"Aw~ Waver, don't look at me like that. I'm not a demon or anything~"
Shinji, lounging lazily on the couch, took a sip of tea and flashed what he thought was a gentle smile.
"Don't give me that crap!" Waver slammed his hands on the table. "Demons are less scary than you!!"
'Why do I have to be involved in this…?'
Waver shot Kayneth a pleading look.
'You're really going to make me suffer through this too, Professor?'
'What, and suffer alone? Over my dead body,' Kayneth replied with a weary glare.
'These poor bastards both look like they've been through hell already,'
Touko thought to herself, continuing her role as a silent office potted plant.
Kayneth finally brought the conversation back on track.
"Shinji, you didn't come all this way just to rob me of tea, did you?"
Shinji had been calmly sipping his tea all this time, but Kayneth's patience had finally run out.
"Alright. That's enough stalling."
Thud
Shinji, still unfazed, slapped two folders onto the coffee table with a crisp, practiced motion.
"Here. My next project."
Kayneth didn't even bother to look at them. He simply rubbed his already completely bald forehead and let out a sigh that came from the depths of his soul.
"Didn't we already agree on this last time? I wouldn't meddle in your content, as long as your work met the quality standard. I have way too many responsibilities to babysit your ideas."
Shinji smiled like a fox who had just walked into a henhouse.
"Well, this time's a bit different. The script includes you and Waver as characters. So I figured I'd at least ask for your opinion. Want to play yourself, or should I have someone else—like Yan Qing—play you?"
"Hold up."
Waver's eyes twitched as he raised a hand.
"If both of us are in it, why are you only asking him?"
Shinji replied with absolute confidence, as if what he was saying was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Waver, my dear friend. You're the face of the Modern Magecraft Department now—our poster boy. Of course you'll be playing yourself."
"Then why does he get to have a stand-in?!"
"Because your teacher's a department head. He's a busy man and might not have the time."
"…"
Waver opened his mouth, desperate to argue that he was actually even busier than Kayneth, but one sharp glare from his mentor shut him down instantly.
Sensing his disciple's good sense, Kayneth gave a small, approving nod, then picked up the proposal and flipped through it with interest.
"Well, if you're this considerate, Shinji, then let's see how you're planning to portray me."
Waver picked up the second folder. Having fully accepted his fate, he now simply wanted to know how much this was going to ruin his life.
He should not have looked.
"…Shinji…"
Waver lowered the file with trembling hands, then—dead serious—pulled out a cigar and lit it with the expression of a man about to be drafted.
"Yeah?"
"Are we friends?"
"Of course we are!"
"Then WHY are you doing this to me?!"
WHAM!
Waver lunged across the sofa, grabbing Shinji by the collar and shaking him violently.
"Stealing my mentor's Relic?! Fighting him in a Holy Grail War?! I would never do that!!"
Shinji, completely unfazed by the furious Waver, adjusted his posture and replied calmly:
"Waver, my dear Waver. Take a deep breath. It's just a movie. Only insane people confuse fiction with reality."
"THEN WHY USE OUR REAL NAMES?!"
"…Shinji Matou…"
Kayneth, who had now finished reading his proposal, looked up with a terrifyingly calm expression.
"I see now. You must have serious beef with me."
Honestly, if his face didn't look like a storm about to break, there'd be something wrong with him.
After all, the way his character was treated in this script was…
Let's just say "a disaster" didn't even begin to cover it.
Cucked by his own Servant. Crippled in battle and stuck in a wheelchair. And finally betrayed so badly he couldn't live or die until Saber put him out of his misery.
If someone could read all that and still smile, then that person absolutely had something broken in their head.
Kayneth clenched his teeth as he glared at the ever-so-smug Shinji.
"You know, Shinji Matou... If you've got some kind of grudge against me, you could just say it. No need to passive-aggressively script it into a movie."
"What are you talking about? I don't have any beef with you," Shinji said flatly, sipping the last of his tea. "I just wrote the story the way it needed to be. Didn't you see how much worse I made the Matou family?"
"…"
Kayneth fell silent.
He hated to admit it—but the little bastard was right.
If Kayneth's arc was a personal tragedy, then the Matou family's was a banquet table overflowing with despair hors d'oeuvres and catastrophe casseroles.
If Shinji could roast his own family with such enthusiasm, Kayneth figured maybe he really didn't have a personal vendetta.
Still, that didn't mean he liked it.
Off to the side, Waver smoked his cigarette with the expression of a war veteran.
He knew this had to be revenge. After all, he and Kariya had pulled a little fast one on Shinji at Cannes…
Which meant this script wasn't "story atmosphere"—it was payback.
Waver was just about to whisper this warning to his teacher when Kayneth beat him to the punch:
"Even if you're trying to preserve the dramatic tone—don't you think my ending's a bit too humiliating?! I'm a Lord of the Clock Tower! Getting wrecked by a mercenary and ending up paralyzed in a wheelchair?! Have you no respect?!"
"C'mon," Shinji shrugged. "You're a theorycraft magi. Losing to a combat specialist is totally realistic. Besides, what's so bad about a wheelchair? Legs are just for decoration anyway. Real power sits above the waist."
"Then YOU try sitting in one for a month! And who the hell's 'above' me in the Tower? Huh?!"
Shinji raised a finger and pointed upward. "The Director."
"…That old fossil? Who even knows if he's still alive in there?"
Though Kayneth tried to sound dismissive, his voice instinctively dropped to a whisper.
Even if the Director hadn't shown his face in years, no one at the Clock Tower dared speak his name loudly.
Kayneth scanned the rest of the proposal, and a flicker of hesitation passed through his eyes.
"Shinji… You're not leaving London just yet, are you?"
"Course not," Shinji replied cheerfully. "Fate/Stay Night's about to roll out in theaters across Europe and America. I'm planning to wait for the first batch of box office numbers before I go. Good chance to poach some talent while I'm here."
"Just don't get decked by their professors when you start poaching," Waver muttered through his teeth.
"Relax~ Everything will be based on mutual consent," Shinji said innocently, finishing his tea in one go.
Kayneth tapped the cover of the proposal and gave a noncommittal grunt.
"…I'll think about it. You'll get my answer later."
"Sounds good."
Shinji stood up and dusted off his coat. "Oh right—Waver. Notify everyone. We'll have a meeting after the premiere."
"Got it."
Shinji didn't say who "everyone" was, but Waver knew he meant their collaborators.
Before walking out, Shinji turned and, in a very sincere tone, offered a parting suggestion:
"By the way, Kayneth—really, you should cut back on drinking the local water. At this rate, your hairline's going to recede so far you'll look like a tea egg. Trust me, wheelchairs are still more dignified."
"YOU DAMN BRAT! Don't think being my co-producer means you can insult me with impunity!! GET OUT!!"
As Kayneth's roars echoed down the corridor, Shinji gave an innocent shrug, then casually linked arms with Touko Aozaki and strolled out of the room with a grin.
"…So, dear kouhai, where exactly are we going now?"
Touko looked up at the sky outside, which had already turned pitch black. "If you'd kept your mouth shut, we might've been able to crash in the Modern Magecraft dorm. But now? We're probably sleeping on a bench in the courtyard."
"What are you saying, senpai? The night has only just begun."
Shinji took her hand and began walking down the hallway toward the depths of the Clock Tower.
"Come now. Let's go meet the so-called geniuses of the Clock Tower."
Touko let out a long sigh. "So in the end, you really did drag me along just to act as your personal audition judge, huh?"