Hoshi's poin't of view
Sometimes I feel like the best liar in the world, although I do not lie at all. I tell the truth, just not the whole truth. I almost feel bad for not telling Nikko that my eating disorders are slowly coming back, yet I don't want him to worry about such things, especially when he's got a lot going on on his own already.
After encouraging me with his kind words, Nikko softly pushes me down on the couch.
What is he doing? I ask myself, not sure if I should blush or do something else.
Just a week ago, he could barely brush against me without having flashbacks on Takamori, and now he's pushing me down onto the couch?
I cannot read from his face now, no. It's dark, too dark and I can barely see him.
Nikko rolls over, laying his back on my chest, putting all his weight on me. He looks up at me, his hand reaching for a strand of my dark, wavy hair.
"Are you okay with this much physical contact?" I ask, as he peacefully plays with the long strand.
"Yeah." Nikko answers, a light smile decorating his lips. Or, I guess, as I already see, I can't really see him in the mask of night.
"You have no idea how much I'm blushing right now."
I place my palm on his cheek, my touch kind of blunt, not guarded as much anymore. "You're like burning!" I laugh. His face is indeed pretty warm, and also very soft. I think I want to touch him like this more often.
I daintily brush my fingers against his cheek, and I feel it probably starts burning even more. My hand slowly makes its way to his short, messy hair, peacefully scratching his head.
"You seem pretty anxious sometimes." Nikko randomly notes down.
I wonder where this question comes from, yet I can't deny it, nor I won't try to deny it.
"I know." I say. "That's just the way I am. But fortunately, I have the best self love teacher laying on me right now." I grin, my gaze sliding down on the airy and light, brown hair that I'm playing with. I can only see them poorly, but their texture suffices to remind me of how much I love them.
"I'm glad you think that." Nikko chuckles, and exclaims right after that. His foot just met mine, and apparently he's not really happy out of it. "Ew, you're not wearing socks again!"
"Yeah, it's really warm." I retort with a laugh. "You can't blame me for it."
Somehow Nikko can never take it. He hates to see me sockless anywhere other than in the bed, because it makes him think of how it must feel to walk around barefoot, apparently even when I'm not walking at the moment. Yet I'm not willing to put on socks just because he can't stand me without them.
"I will never get this." Nikko states with a face of disgust.
"You don't have to." I smile.
.
.
.
It is comforting to hear the rhythm of his breathing against my body, and it makes me feel safe to know he has to feel mine too. Our bodies pressed together, but in a pure, unviolent way, where we both share our presence and innocent affection, safety. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yet when Nikko's eyelids can't stay fully open anymore, we both conclude it's time to go to bed.
We stand up, walking quietly, stepping as lightly as possible, going around the sleeping Nelson. All the running and his unstoppable energy are clearly taking a toll on him, making a night cat sleep like a little kitten.
In my bedroom, half-asleep, Nikko snuggles under my beige duvets, immediately just wanting to fall asleep. I turn on a warm lamp, not letting him yet. He, slightly grumpily, protests, tuning the lamp off. If he wasn't as cute as he is, he would not get away with this, not so easily. So due to his cuteness, I walk towards the window, trying not to bump into anything, or thrip.
I know he likes it when the curtains are opened, letting the sun in in the morning, potentially waking him up. So I open them for him, and a beautiful, bright moonshine comes in, shining right into his eyes. Nikko slightly squints them, but doesn't complain about this kind of light. The moonshine makes him happy, and gives him a new stroke of energy, making him sit up, and suddenly wanting to do anything else but sleep. Yet he doesn't say anything.
I just lay beside him, and wish him a goodnight. Nikko also lays down, but I can still telepathically hear his thoughts running.
We keep laying like this for a while, trying to fall asleep, but my eyes just won't close. Hearing Nikko shift every once in a while, I don't think he's asleep either.
"I don't want to sleep yet." I suddenly hear.
"Me neither." I answer, silence hanging in the air, both of us still turned away from each other.
We don't want to sleep, but what else could we do? I ask myself, and an idea comes to my head.
"Are you ticklish?"
"Why?-" Late. Nikko can't even finish the question mark.
I quickly turn around, and unusually energetically start touching his belly, tickling him.
My chest once again sticks on his back, my agility making him laugh more and more. If we had neighbours right behind the wall, I'm sure they'd scold us for being loud.
"Hoshi," Nikko exclaims with a chuckle. "Hoshi!" He soon pants in between laughing. "Stop!"
I grin, and move from his tummy to under his neck.
Nikko is defensively pushing me away, squirming in my embrace. The duvets are rustling, small pillows falling on the floor. He can't stop laughing, fighting me with all he's got.
I get into it a little bit too much, and roll over him, on the other side of the bed. Nikko is so worked up that I decide to let him rest, and rest myself.
I fall down on the bed next to him, into my beige sheets, as one last chuckle escapes his mouth, followed by loud gasping.
Gosh, he looks so hot…. I quickly shift my attention to the ceiling, trying to push back a thought of him gasping for air in a way different situation. Arg, stop it, brain. Or Nikko. Stop being so damn hot when you're like this, all breathless and worked up.
"Hoshi," Nikko speaks.
Suddenly his voice is so innocent that it only makes me smile, and erases all the dirty thoughts of him in less than a second.
"Hmm?" My corners rise as I finally look at him, the fragile, cold moonshine covering the faces of both of us.
His blue eyes are also shining, making his soft face even more beautiful.
"When I look at the sky at night, I always think of you." Nikko starts. His voice is sweet, and very thoughtful. "But, I couldn't decide whether I see the moon in you, or the petty, adorable stars around him. I was thinking really hard of this, and then I finally came to a conclusion. The moon is your body, detailed, flawless, and great. And the first, brightest star, is your soul. Always looking after me."
The way he said it. Instead of his usual shy, uncertain way of expressing his deep thoughts, this time he said it with trust, without purposely controlling his every word.
With trust… He trusts me! Nikko trusts me!!
The smile that forms on my face, feels the most genuine it had ever felt. Realising that Nikko, after such a long time, finally feels comfortable with being himself, expressing his thoughts without worry, means a lot to me.
"So I'm your moon and star then?" I sit up.
"Yeah, when I touch you, I touch the moon, when I speak to your soul, I touch a star." He chuckles, looking up at me, whose eyes are lingering on a specific part of his face.
A tender part of his, which only lets out the most Nikkoish things. The only Nikkoish words in the world.
I hover over him, and tuck a short strand of his brownish hair behind his ear.
"Then, let the moon kiss you."
I kiss him, my full lips slowly pressing onto his tender ones, cold moon rays letting me remember his flushed face.
He's always so sweet. I think, my gaze still lingering on his features.
"Did you know," Nikko says "that chickens are little T-rexes?" He informs me, sounding so quiet and innocent, murmured.
Yet he's completely off.
"What? Why are you saying this right now?" I stop, and watch him with confusion.
"I don't know, I just remembered it now." Nikko scoffs shyly.
"You remembered such thing now, when I kissed you?" I start laughing. "Why now?"
Innocent laugh turns into an unstoppable one, followed by thousand tiny pecks on Nikko's face. "You're weird. Please, don't change."