As I walked out of the area, emotions flood my mind, it ran deep that I felt like I'm drowning, I can still feel the sensation of cleaving a man in half, and despite the vast rays of the sun touching my skin, it still felt cold, it felt heavy, my heart pounded in my chest.
Despite knowing that it is best to be prepared, and when I first came to this world, I already knew that I have to take a life, it still didn't cushion the impact.
In my mind, I know that it's kill or be killed, yet such thinking did not prepare me for the emotions that followed, despite killing a scum of this world, I can't help but remember how he died, the rage in his eyes, the cold hilt of the sword, and his blood that splashed my face, every single second stuck with me...
I plopped on the floor and leaned my back against the wall, I tried reflecting on what happened, I tried to calm myself down and numb myself to the emotions that I'm feeling..
As I calmed down, I tried to meditate and it gave me peace, I tried to gather earth mana again and did the same procedure that I've done last night, and although the improvement is not as dramatic as breaking through to Late tier, I still felt my improvements, and it helped tremendously in distracting me, making it a win-win situation with regards to my current mental.
After 2 hours of meditation, I opened my eyes and stood up, and noticing that there is still some sun, I ran to the training grounds and finished my training routine for today, and with the familiar rhythm of the my sword hitting the dummy, I achieved a sense of harmony with it, feeling like an extension of my own body, my sword and I became one..
I struck the dummy again and again with such grace that various knights will envy, my strength became a supplement to such grace instead of hindering it, my muscles tore as I swung, each strike is painful but rewarding, each strike helped me process what happened, each strike made me remember but I didn't flinch nor did I stop..
At first, it felt laborious, but as time went on, it became apparent that I'm unto something, I feel my foundations solidify with each strike, I felt the strength that ran through my veins, is this the strength of a knight? Is this what it means to be stronger?
To feel fear yet face its consequences? To push through despite my own inhibitions?
I felt a deep understanding with each strike, my resolve building up along with my strength,
I tightened my grip towards my sword, a sword that was forged for me, made out of the finest steel that money can buy, a behemoth of a sword big enough that a normal person cannot carry, yet as I swung it, I realized that it felt lighter, more free flowing in my hands now than it ever was before.
When the sun set and I swung my last sword strike for the day, I felt free..
I still remember what happened but I now understood, my resolve is unwavering, I know my purpose...
There is no time to fear nor is there time to sulk, I need to get stronger, to become the bulwark that I need to be when the situation arises.
...
The next day, when the sun rose, I stopped my meditation and went towards our castle's training grounds, where our house's valiant knights train.
I savored the familiar sound of steel clashing against steel, and the huffs and puffs of my knight brothers and sisters.
In the midst of them all, one man stood, his broad shoulders and bald head is clear as day, with towering physique that put earth's tanks to shame, my older brother, Karl.
Karl had just returned from the frontlines yet here he is, training most of our knights, grinding them, making them stronger, his shouts echo across the yard, yet when he noticed me, a smirk couldn't help but escape his face.
"So how's your first taste of death Franz?"
I looked at him with a playful look in my eyes and said;
"Surprisingly good! Would've helped if a girl warmed my bed after but I guess that's too much to ask?"
Karl snorted, in his face a grin mixed with pride is obvious as he replied;
"You're still too young for that ya little shite"
"Says the one that got caught peeping in the bath house a few years back! Hahahaha! I remember you getting chased by those lasses for a solid hour or two!"
Hearing something embarrassing, Karl immediately retorted;
"I swear to the gods those girls were somehow possessed by the God of War! They're far too strong for their own good! But enough with that! It's time to train! Show me your improvements when I was gone."
Karl drew his sword, suddenly becoming serious.
"This is the brother that I know," I murmured under my breath. As I also drew my sword and assumed my stance.
I started with my footwork, each step precise and disciplined, I tried closing the gap between us but Karl used his length advantage and struck diagonally, I barely managed to dodge it but its impact still got me, it hurts but I held firm.
"More", said Karl, "In a real battle you wouldn't have this much space, there will be other people, you need to move constantly while being vigilant for any external attacks, don't focus much on your footwork, a small mistake might cost your life, brother."
I nodded towards him and then adjusted my stance, before I even finished adjusting, Karl suddenly struck me towards my right side, I tried to block but the impact numbed my arms, it felt painful, but I persevered.
But before I got my bearings, Karl suddenly kicked my stomach and then punched my face using the hilt of his sword, sending me flying towards the other end of the clearing.
Clearly, I am outmatched.
I stood up and once again fixed my stance, but this time, I circulated mana throughout my whole body, trying to compensate the difference in levels with my newfound power.
Seeing me stand up, Karl smirked and then leapt in front of me with his sword in hand. He struck repeatedly towards my blind spots, forcing me into a constant cycle of defending myself, yet amidst this unstoppable onslaught, I began adapting, with my mana channeling through my whole body, I began to see the subtle openings in Karl's stance, making it easier for me to react and at times retaliate.
I then drew mana from within and circulated them in my eyes, further helping me analyze Karl's movements.
I began adapting, slowly but surely, my speed caught up with his, I parried each of Karl's strikes, our swords clashing against each other, yearning for another bout.
We stopped for a moment and Karl looked at me, a picture of satisfaction obvious in his face as he attacked me once again.
Our battle went on, and when the sun is at its peak, exhaustion piled up against me, I became sluggish, and with my mana on the verge of depletion, I lowered my sword and said;
"I yield brother! I yield!"
Hearing my plea, Karl lowered his sword but suddenly, he punched me in the face, a symbol of my defeat.
As our battle ceased, Karl looked proud but at the same time puzzled as he asked;
"What level are you at right now brother?"
Seeing that there's no need to hide it from my own family, I replied;
"A few nights ago, I broke through to late tier apprentice knight brother, it was a nice but welcome surprise for me to be honest"
Karl smiled, he looked proud and said;
"So you're one of those geniuses now huh? Hahahahaha! I didn't peg you be one of them pompous asses"
Shaking my head, I replied;
"I don't know if I'm one of those so-called geniuses but it's got a good ring to it don't you think?"
I looked towards Karl and saw him flash a fleeting smile, he then replied;
"You're growing up faster than I expected brother, you made me adjust my strength to peak apprentice knight today, I'm proud, but don't show off to much, you know what happened to our older brother right? Keep your strength to yourself, and do not stand out too much when you're in the academy alright?"
I nodded, and said;
"Don't worry brother, but don't you think that applies to you too? Nobody buys into your bullshit claim of being Mid Adept Tier"
Karl replied;
"Is it that obvious? Damn, alright I will try be more low key from now on. Let's stop training for today, les some spies see through our cover too"
With that said, Karl stood up and went inside the castle, probably to take a break.
...
As the sun rose and our training done, I went to take a bath, still ringing from the echoes of our training, I feel exhausted, but proud. For the first time since yesterday, I felt fulfilled and not lost, I felt happy and not burdened.
Despite knowing how rough and chaotic the future might be, with the undead marching through our borders and the other countries eyeing our every move, I am confident that I can help our House survive the future ordeals that we might face.