"Oh, you're the mini Kakuzu. You're Muffins." He groans out. "Dammit. It just had to be you didn't it? We're done here."
"Did you just call me Muffins?" It's my turn to be confused.
"That's what Kisame calls you. No idea why."
...
My jaw drops. "I'm... going to forget the last thirty seconds." I vigorously shake my head. "What happened to the whole 'I will impose my will on you' thing?"
"I can't do it to you. The Jiongu and that technique don't work together." He starts walking away. "Just my luck, out of all Sound shinobi to get it's the only one I can't kill. Perfect. Since when did he go to Sound anyways? I thought he was a Konoha shinobi."
"Wait what? What do you mean you can't kill me? Surely it would be easy for you. Well, maybe. I'm not going to just roll over and take it." I don't understand this at all, even if he can't make me into his spy he's going to let me live? That's poor form and he knows it.
"Kisame and Kakuzu have both taken an interest in you. Kisame because, well you were right, he wants you as a pet. Muffins. What a terrible name. And Kakuzu because he finds you mildly amusing, you're mimicking him very well. He hasn't admitted it but I think he wants to meet you."
"Well you know what they say, mimicry is the greatest form of flattery." I never thought I would be on relatively good terms with members of the Akatsuki. "So that's it? We're going to part ways because your co-workers find me mildly amusing? No grand battle, no ridiculous puppets, no nothing?"
"It isn't just them that finds you amusing, I myself find you very interesting. You show traits of multiple bloodlines and kinjutsu, yet no one has been able to confirm anything. Magnet release, the ability to fly, the Jiongu, Kisame even thinks you have traits of the storm release. I believe him too, it's the only thing we could think of for your elemental sphere defense. I want to see more of you, and once I've seen it all I plan on adding you to my collection. I may not be able to influence your mind, but I can surely use your corpse to my hearts content! A puppet that diverse, that unique! I'll make it last through the ages!"
Huh. Storm release, that's a new one. I guess if I squint from a distance it kind of fits. "Well... thanks for the compliment? It isn't everyday I'm told I'll be added to a collection of immortal puppets."
"You're welcome." Sasori leaves me alone on my throne.
"I... don't know how to react to that. What's worse, being told that Sasori wants to add me to his puppet army or Muffins?"
~Muffins. Definitely Muffins.~
"Which way is he going?"
~Away from our comrades, back towards Kusa.~
"Well... alright then. This was very strange."
...
The Entrance to Sound's Base
"Orochimaru we have to hurry! Alvarcus could be getting killed right now!" Sasuke's voice echoes out of the tunnel.
"I am well aware of that. From what you described it is better to be prepared. Even I could have a challenge against this many opponents."
"Come on! Get ready on the way, he could be halfway dead by now!"
Orochimaru steps out of the tunnel. We make eye contact. I cheerfully wave at him. Orochimaru rolls his eyes. "Sasuke, something tells me he's fine."
"I don't care! I want to see him with my own eyes before I deem him fine!" Sasuke roars.
"Hey Sasuke. How's things?" I call out to him.
He explodes out of the tunnel. "Alvarcus! You're alive! How? Did you kill them? Did you run away? How many hearts did you lose?" He's instantly by my side and he's poking and prodding me all over.
"Whoa, calm down. All we did was talk and somehow he decided to walk away. Honestly I'm still confused about that part."
"So you didn't fight?" He asks.
"Nope, it was really weird. We chatted for a bit, I took off my mask, hood and scarf and then he said something about the Jiongu and his techniques not mixing and walked away."
"I expect a detailed report by the end of the day." Orochimaru demands. "Now that we know you're safe, I was in the middle of an experiment. I'm seeing how natural chakra reacts inside deformed or broken chakra systems. So far all I've discovered is a new way to make stones. It's fascinating!" He eagerly walks back inside. "You two can observe if you want. I could use fresh eyes, maybe you'll catch something I didn't."
He wants us to watch him turn people into stone? How fucked up is that? This is the guy I was hoping would rescue me? I must be insane. "No thanks, I'd rather sleep or something. I did just walk away from my fourth S-ranked missing nin."
Orochimaru stills. "I thought it was a group that attacked you? Who was it?"
"Sasori of the Red Sands, I recognized him on sight. I read up on all the S-rank threats out there after Kisame cut my head off. I want to know when I'm outclassed by an opponent."
"We will have a verbal debrief in one hour in my office." Orochimaru vanishes into the tunnel.
Uh-oh, did I say something wrong? Before I mentioned him by name it was just a report but now it's a verbal debrief? Kami this is going to suck.
"Alright, I'm going to at least get out of these bandages. I don't particularly like being a mummy if I don't have to."
...
One Hour Later, Orochimaru's Office
I'm sitting awkwardly across from my temporary Kage. He's staring deep into my eyes, like he's searching for something out of place. I really don't like this. Something feels off, he's too tense for a debrief. He's ready to attack at a moments notice, even during training he's not this wound up.
"Kabuto, do it." Orochimaru barks out.
Cold hands grasp either side of my head. I feel a foreign chakra surge into my system the second they make contact. It's rifling through my mind, looking for something.
"~GET OUT OF OUR HEAD!~" The Jiongu and I roar in unison.
The Jiongu surges out of my neck scar and lunges at the hands on my temples. I burst out of my chair and whirl towards Kabuto. He's already on the other side of the office. That's not going to stop me, he invaded my mind. I can't let that happen.
"Alvarcus stop!" Orochimaru orders.
"Die! Elemental Strings!" I extend all ten of my elemental whips at him, there's two of every element. He has no hope to dodge, not in these confined quarters. The back half of the office is being torn, beaten, cut, zapped and burned all at the same time. It's magnificent.
"Kabuto flee!" Orochimaru demands.
"As you command." Kabuto says. There's that feeling again. His voice makes me go on edge, but I don't know why!
"NO! He's dying today! No one invades my mind like that!" My whips continue to rage across the office. They'll hit him in a matter of moments.
Victory was snatched out of my grasp by Orochimaru. How, you ask? Simple, he picked me up by the throat and threw me into a wall so hard cracks formed like my spider's webs. That will stop just about anything.
"Alvarcus you will calm down. Now." Orochimaru is deadly serious.
"You should have let me kill him. He was fucking with my head!" I roar into his face.
"I know, I told him too." Orochimaru calmly tells me.
"You have two minutes to explain or I start attacking you next." I force out through clenched teeth as I smoothly slide into a battle ready stance.
"You know I'd win." Orochimaru gloats. But there's something else lurking in him just beneath the surface. He's furious, but it isn't with me. If it was me who made him this angered I'd be fighting for my life already."You can't beat me."
"At this point I don't give a shit! No one fucks with my mind!" No one here at least. I make a special exception for friends if they do it on accident, I'm looking at you Ino. You've done it twice!
"I had to make sure Sasori didn't turn you into one of his spies." Orochimaru calmly explains. Honestly I'm surprised he's still calm, I thought he would have lashed out at my blatant disrespect. "That was the only way to be 100% sure you weren't influenced by him."
"That's why you've been on edge since I've been back." I accuse him.
"Yes. I didn't want to lose one of my most promising shinobi. Especially to Sasori."
I snort. "You don't value me. You don't value anyone, we're all disposable in your eyes."
"That's were you're wrong. You're turning into one of my greatest assets. You can easily stand on par with any member of the Sound Four, I'd even wager that you could best all of them at once. You're nearing Kimimaro's skill level and its been how long since you came to me? Five months?"
That means I have just over two and a half years to get out of here with Sasuke. Has it really been five months already?
"Yeah well torture is one hell of a motivator."
"Careful. I will only tolerate so much sass, even from you." Orochimaru finally warns me.
"Whatever. Can I go sleep in my own bed now?"
"Yes. Do not attack Kabuto again, he is useful to me. For now." Orochimaru orders me with a suspicious narrowing of his eyes.
"Fine." I growl out. "If he ever becomes a problem will you let me deal with it? I don't know why but he rubs me the wrong way." Sometimes even more than you do.
Orochimaru raises a skeptical eyebrow. "Interesting."
...
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