Kane, still unconscious from when we last saw him, had flies now floating over his head. He... he died? The voice on the other side of the phone was breathing heavily. Possibly tired after shouting for so long.
"Chikusho[1]... I swear, this is the second time you fell asleep while having me on call!" Satoshi's voice was heard cursing him over the phone. He sighs deeply, before continuing, "You're lucky I'm not your girlfriend or anything, I would have dumped you by now."
Cricket noises come from the outside as Satoshi falls silent. Suddenly, a loud and blood-curdling scream emanates from the phone — it was so loud in fact, it woke Kane up from his unconscious state.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Kane reacted with a shocked expression as he jumped off of the sofa — imagine a cat when suddenly getting splashed with water as they were lying down, that was what Kane looks like right now. He held the phone up high as he entered a defensive stance.
"Sorry about that! I was just watching a horror movie." Satoshi remarked with a relaxed voice. He then unexpectedly gives his own personal review. "Dude, I have to tell you... I was not expecting that girl to scream so loudly, her figure was so small!"
Kane relaxes his stance. He lowers the phone to his ear with a disinterested expression. He then comments on the startling noise that woke him up, "You intentionally increased the volume of your T.V., didn't you?"
"..." The voice on the other end had fallen silent.
"Did you?" Kane advanced with his attack.
"Ah~! Would you look at the time, I have to go to bed now. See you on Monday, Koyasu-san!" Satoshi retreated with quick precision!
"Oi! Don't hang up on—"
"...Damn it, he hung up on me." Satoshi's escape was successful, leaving Kane alone in the living room.
He falls back onto the sofa with a tired expression. He looks up at the ceiling with a sigh. As he looked back on what happened earlier in his room, all he could do was sigh and think, "What was I thinking...?"
Looking back down, he stares at his hands. They were still sore after he had used it to cushion his fall. Leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, he reaches for his face, before closing his eyes as his hand makes contact.
He opened one of his eyes — it was visible due to the spacing of his fingers. A reddish hue was noticeable on his cheek as he unintentionally voices out his thoughts, "...What if..."
Kane had begun to recall the face Erisa had worn as they were about to kiss. It was like she was ready — maybe she had fully accepted it? Kane wanted to find out, but he couldn't ask her now. Without anybody around, he blurts out something uncharacteristic of him, "...nobody called?"
After a moment of silence, he straightens his back after saying that out loud. He begins waving his hand in front of his face while muttering, "No no no... no way... that was a completely unbelievable thought I just had there!"
His hand falls to the side as his face grows weary. The way he thought right now, it was completely unacceptable for him. Earlier today, he had cried his heart out because of Erisa — and now, his heart had beat in a completely new way because of Erisa.
"Doushiyou[2]...?"
Kane muttered under his breath. He begins pinching the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes. "Doushiyou… doushiyou… doushiyou…" His voice grew more strained with each word muttered silently.
His eyes open up. His dark-brown eyes grew with disdain for himself. Kane looks outside through the glass panes that lead to his balcony. The stars sparkled with a glistening light. It brought color to the night sky — it was beautiful.
Pushing himself up, he begins to walk toward his balcony. He leaned against the railing, the cold breeze pushing against his face — yet, he ignored this sensation. He somehow became numb. Looking up at the night sky, he could only think about one thing.
"How would young me react if he saw me now?" With this thought, and a moment of silence. He begins to feel the color in his eyes fade.
⋆｡°✩
Holding the door open, Kane escorts Erisa out of his dark apartment. They didn't bother with making eye contact at all, considering the moment they shared earlier in his bedroom. Erisa stood out in the hallway — she held her elbow tightly.
"Good night, Kane-kun."
She muttered while looking over her shoulder. However, she was only met with silence and disregard.
"Mm." Kane looked down — his bangs had covered his eyes. Whatever happened between them, he wanted to forget so badly. It was a complete sign of disrespect for Kane and the trauma he held.
Kane trailed off into complete silence as his head remained low. In response, Erisa bit her tongue, not wanting to cause him anymore harm. She began to walk toward his apartment as Kane continued holding on to his front door.
In the deepest part of his mind, Kane floated aimlessly in thought. It was dark. Lifeless. Sad. Broken. Destructive words began to swirl around him — it was nauseating. "You're petty.", "Hopeless!", "Just disappear already.", "You don't even deserve to feel anything!"
These words struck him like a chord. Maybe the darkest part of his mind was his inner turmoil — the pain he stored for so long, it had festered there. Grew into something much worse.
It hurt. It hurt so goddamn much, and all he could was listen.
"I hope you stay alone, forever."
The sound of a door creaking is heard, followed shortly by the sound of a door shutting. His door remained open, however, as he stood there in silence. He slowly closed his door.
As soon as his door closed, he stumbled in the darkness toward his living room. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices a small potted plant placed on the corner of the kitchen counter haphazardly.
He approaches it slowly. He grabs it shakily and holds it in his two hands. Kane recalls how Erisa playfully placed it there in a mocking way, just to get him to overreact. His lips begin to tremble.
Kane grits his teeth as he begins to feel a pain in his chest. His breathing grows more frantic as he tries to hold on for just a little longer. "I-It's useless…" He spoke under his breath as a tear rolled down his cheek.
His grip on the potted plant grows tighter as his breathing grows even more aggressive behind his gritted teeth. "W-why do you a-always make me feel this way…" His voice cracked with each word said.
His mind gets flooded with more destructive thoughts — it overwhelms him. It was too much for him. He wanted all of it to stop, he wanted to rest. He wanted those words to get erased from his memory.
"You're petty.", "Hopeless!", "Can you even consider yourself human?", "How can you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror?", "Hopeless!", "Just disappear already.", "Scum!", "Are you even human?", "Petty.", "Alone.", "Alone!", "Just die!"
And then, there was static. Kane stood in an empty, white void. There was static everywhere. The plant he held glitched erratically. His eyes remained clouded with a shadow.
"Kane-kun."
A voice called out to him. He didn't want to look up. He didn't want to find out who called him. Despite this, his head slowly crept up from the plant and looked forward. He stared at the figure before him. It was Erisa in the same black sailor uniform she wore back in junior high school.
Her glasses were opaque. There was no emotion. He couldn't see her eyes. She stood there with her hands clenched in a fist. She had already turned over one of her heels as she looked at him with an emotionless expression.
Erisa's lips moved, but no noise came out. As soon as she stopped speaking, she fully turned over heel and began to walk towards the endless expanse of nothingness — leaving Kane alone.
He looked back down. Before long, without any hesitation — he threw the potted plant he held in his hands forward with all his might. He began panting erratically as his body fell limp. He still stood on his two feet as he leaned forward and erupted in a guttural scream. Yet, there was no noise that exited his mouth, only silence.
Kane clung onto his skull tightly as he started crying. It was still silent. He began thrashing around, trying to get a hold of something. He desperately needed to get a hold of something — anything.
Trying so hard, he reaches out for something, but his hand grabs a hold of nothing. He falls to his knees, defeated. He was tired. He was lost. He couldn't tolerate anything anymore.
He already had enough. The overwhelming amount of emotions, it overloaded him. Misery, Pain, Confusion, Hatred, Depression, and Feelings he had never felt before — it all bundled up into a mass of incohesion and chaos. It was torture.
He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted all of this to stop.
"Why do I have to suffer like this?"
He spoke, his voice carried no weight. No emotion. No life.
"Isn't there an easy way to get rid of all of this pain?"
He slowly turned to his right, and he saw it. His balcony and the beautiful night sky. Out of place compared to the white, static void that surrounded him. It was the closest thing to a safe haven for him.
Kane stood up slowly, his body swaying from side-to-side. He no longer cared to balance himself. He wanted to rest. He wanted all of this to stop. He wanted to finally let go of all the pain and misery he had.
He began to stumble toward his balcony — slowly but surely. Maybe, just maybe, he could finally rest if he reached the balcony and soared toward the stars.
But… something stops him, something stops him from moving forward. It felt like something was holding him by the stomach tightly. He tried to move forward, but he couldn't budge.
"P-p-please…"
A voice whimpered. It was soft and it begged for him to stop. He looked down and saw nothing holding him — It must have been his conscience stopping him. No matter, he didn't want his suffering to last any longer.
"S-s-s-stop what you're d-d-doing…"
The voice continued, and it struck a chord within him. It sounded almost familiar to someone he knew, but he couldn't recall who. He pushed forward even harder, now being able to take a few steps forward. He was so close, just a few more steps, and…
"Kane-kun… you're scaring me."
He froze.
The voice began to sob quietly, at the same time, he felt his back become wet. He slowly looked down and he finally noticed what had been holding him back — white sleeves wrapped around his stomach.
The shadows that had formed over his eyes disappeared. He could see clearly now. He looks back up and notices the mess he made in the living room. Pillows strewn on the floor, the coffee table had been shifted suddenly, the carpet had been folded by the corner, and the plant he threw — still intact and on the floor.
Kane slowly reaches for the white sleeve that held on to him. As he softly touched the arms that held him in place, he felt it tense up and the grip growing even more tighter. He opens his lips and it quivers. Before letting himself speak, "E–Erisa-san."
He hears her breathing stop with a sudden gasp. Her grip loosens, which allows him to turn around and face her slowly. She was still crying as he looked her in the eyes. It was filled with guilt, fear, and sadness.
"I-I think…"
He falls to his knees as he feels himself grow weak. Erisa also falls to her knees as she holds Kane by the shoulder, making sure his body stays straight. Her eyes remain widened with concern.
His eyes begin to grow heavy as his head begins to sway side-to-side. He opens his mouth as he speaks, his voice grows more calm and relaxed as he mutters, "I… n-need to rest…"
[1] The word "Chikushou" (ちくしょう) usually translates to "Damn it" and is used to express frustration.
[2] The word "Doushiyou" (どうしよう) translates to "What should I do?"