During breakfast, I couldn't swallow a single bite. My throat felt tight, as if every swallow was a battle. Instead, my eyes remained fixed on the boy sitting across from me, watching him as he slowly picked at his food. Each bite seemed to demand more effort than it should, and I could see the weight pressing down on him with every hesitant swallow.
He had no appetite. Neither did I.
His gaze lifted to meet mine, catching me watching him with worried eyes.
"I'm not a child, Selena," Felix said in a low, defeated voice. "I eat—by force—but I do eat. You should too."
I tried to force a smile but failed. "How about we go out for a walk today? Some fresh air might help you feel better."
He gave a dry laugh, a sound so filled with sorrow it almost broke me. "Now you sound like a retired woman trying to take her dying husband on one last trip."
I bit back a laugh, unable to reconcile the joke with the despair in his voice.
"I'll ask Lucas for permission," I said quietly.
"He's not my father. You should ask me instead," Felix replied, voice edged with bitterness.
At that moment, Lucas entered the room, his presence sharp and commanding. "But I'm keeping an eye on you," he said, settling beside me. "Good thing Selena values my opinion—unlike you."
Felix shot back without missing a beat, "You messed with her head. She's just scared of you."
"No, she just found out how seriously ill you are. You need proper care," Lucas responded firmly.
Felix's teeth clenched. "I know I'm sick. You don't have to remind me every chance you get."
Lucas sat down next to me, picking at his own breakfast but keeping a sharp eye on his younger brother, who looked pale and drained.
"Then get a grip and fight this damn thing. I don't want to have to lock you up in a hospital!"
"No one asked you to take care of me," Felix snapped. "If you're tired of me, then get rid of me from your life."
Lucas slammed down his cutlery, his gaze piercing. "I'm doing everything so you can get out of this mess, recover, and live a better life. And you resent me? Feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere! Do something. Fight. Show that there are people who want you to get better. Even if it's just for her!" He pointed directly at me.
I felt a swell of admiration. For once, I had to admit Lucas was speaking with real eloquence.
"If it were that simple, I wouldn't need medication. And I wouldn't have been locked up in a mental institution—not once, but twice."
"Your mother placed you there because she couldn't handle it anymore. I took you out to help you recover outside those walls. That's the difference. And do you know why Selena did that?" Lucas squinted, leaning closer.
Felix looked at him, eyes empty.
"She had to because I killed my parents."
Lucas shifted his gaze to me. I stared back, terrified, then quickly turned to Felix.
"No. I did it because you wanted to die. I was trying to protect you."
Felix's voice trembled. "Then why didn't you stop me now when I wanted to kill myself again? Surely you didn't act because you weren't afraid of me after I killed my parents?"
"Felix, you..." I opened my mouth to say that he never killed anyone, that those were just the terrifying images he believed in for years. But Lucas shook his head, signaling me to stop.
"I knew it wasn't intentional. That's why I never feared you. You're a good person. Always have been."
"You can't blame everything on illness. I'm not good at all. If I were, you wouldn't have suffered through me for all these years. I'm poison—poison to you, to Lucas, and to my parents."
Each time he blamed himself, my heart cracked a little more.
"Trust me when I say you're not," I said firmly, locking eyes with him. "I'll take him for a walk this afternoon, alright?" I turned to Lucas, hoping for his support. "I'll have my phone with me."
"Fine," Lucas agreed.
"Since when are you two so compatible?" Felix squinted suspiciously.
"We only agree about you. I still don't like her," Lucas grumbled.
"In that, we agree too—because I don't like you either," I retorted, snorting softly. "And even if you took a star down from the sky for me, I'd never like you."
Lucas rolled his eyes. "For you, I wouldn't even bother to take one star."
I felt Felix's gaze on me, warm but teasing.
"Don't tease him, or I'll get jealous," I warned, smiling.
*
It was nearly twelve when I ran downstairs, trying to catch up with Lucas. I saw him stepping out the door, and without even putting on my shoes, I slipped out after him. I had to ask him something—now that Felix wasn't around.
"Wait!" I called, running barefoot through the garden in my slippers. He turned, looking like he was already tired of seeing me.
"Can I have a moment?" I asked, breathless.
"I let you take Felix for a walk. What more do you want?" he replied, clearly annoyed.
"I have something important to ask. It's been keeping me up all night."
Lucas's expression shifted—interest mixed with concern.
"Why do you always have to bring this up at the worst possible times?"
"Because Felix fell asleep after his meds. I didn't want him to overhear."
He frowned, waiting.
"So... what is it?"
I pointed to a bench by the fountain. "Will you sit with me for a bit?"
Lucas rolled his eyes but complied, dropping down without a word. I sat next to him, nervously rubbing my hands together.
"How did you know what I was going to say at breakfast?" I asked quietly. "You stopped me before I could say that Felix didn't kill his parents, that they're still alive."
Lucas looked at me, his gaze sharp. "I guessed you knew. Have you met my mother? She's got a restraining order against me and Felix."
I gasped, disbelief flooding my eyes.
"So you know everything. Why don't you just tell Felix the truth? Maybe then he'd stop blaming himself. He wouldn't be haunted by guilt over killing his parents. It seems like that's making him worse."
"No, Selena. The psychiatrist forbade me to tell him. They say it would make his condition worse—he'd lose all will to live. He'd think everything, even you and me, were illusions. He wouldn't be able to tell reality from his hallucinations. He can't know the truth."
I swallowed hard. "His mother called me when I was hiding with Felix."
Lucas's brow furrowed. "What?"
"She warned me that Felix was still sick and a threat to me. Did you meet her then?"
Lucas nodded slowly, swallowing hard. "Yes. She had Felix locked in a mental hospital before she left for Canada. Said he'd ruin my life like he ruined hers. She claimed he was dangerous to society. While he was there, Felix faked taking medication to fool the doctors. That's why the hallucinations didn't stop after he left—including the one where he killed his parents. They never came for him—have been in Canada with no contact."
"Then why did she come back from Canada? If she wanted to be free of him?"
"She had no choice. Felix's father divorced her—had enough of her and found someone younger. She was left with nothing." Lucas chuckled bitterly. "Karma."
"So she's living in the old house?" I asked.
"Yeah," Lucas sighed, staring ahead. "I don't know how she got your number, but she wants to push you away from Felix again."
"Why? She says her son is the problem. She ran away to Canada, left him in the hospital. She told you to lock him up. She doesn't care about him. Why push me away?"
"You don't understand, Selena. When she came back to Los Angeles, she expected to be Felix's sole caregiver. She didn't expect me to step in. She wanted me out so she could take him back—alone, like some savior, wanting to 'cure' him her way."
"What a toxic, cruel woman. 'Cure' him? She wants to destroy him."
"That's why I threatened her to stay away—to keep her out of his life. I can make her disappear with a snap of my fingers. She's my mother, but I hate her when I think about the past. I wasn't perfect myself, but now I want what's best for Felix—I'm trying to make up for my mistakes."
I shivered, the thought that this woman was somewhere nearby sending chills down my spine. Maybe she was lurking close, waiting to strike.
"Do you think she'll keep her distance?"
"I hope so. She hasn't come near my house yet." Lucas stood up, voice low as he turned away. "Take care of him on this walk. Don't wander too far. If anything happens, I'll be on the phone."
*
I entered Felix's bedroom and immediately saw he was trapped in a bad dream. He writhed restlessly beneath the covers, mumbling softly in his sleep. Without hesitation, I reached out and gently stroked his face. The touch seemed to soothe him, calming the tension in his features.
I watched him with quiet, caring eyes. At one point, I tightened my lips to stop myself from crying.
Why did he have to endure this hell for so many years? How could I possibly help him find peace? And why now—why did his mother, the very woman who had largely brought him to this state, reappear in his life?
Felix hadn't just inherited his illness through genetics—his youth had been scarred by trauma, each wound deepening his suffering.
Tears slipped down my cheeks silently. Just then, his eyes fluttered open. I quickly wiped my face with trembling hands, desperate to hide my tears from him.
"You're sad again because of me, Selena," he said in a hoarse voice as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "People around me can't be happy."
"Don't say that, Felix. I'm not sad because of you."
"Then why were you crying while looking at me? I saw you wiping your tears. I'm not stupid."
At that moment, emotion overwhelmed me, and I burst into tears, unable to hold back.
"It's because I want so badly to help you heal, to make you happy, but I don't know how. I'm worried about you."
I was surprised when Felix pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. His hand stroked my back, steadying me like I'd done for him so many times before.
"The new meds from the psychiatrist… they're helping. But more than that, your presence means everything," he whispered softly. "I'm glad you're here with me, Selena. Lucas's words at breakfast gave me a push today. He's right—if I don't want this myself, if I don't fight my illness, nothing else will matter. I have to conquer the demons inside me. I have to fight this damn disease and learn to enjoy life with the people who love me. Most of all, I want to fight for you. You are my greatest happiness, and I want to prove to you I can be strong. My dream is to see you smile again—not sad anymore—so I can make you happy after all these years of pain I've caused."
I smiled through my tears, feeling the joy his words brought me. This was what I'd been waiting for. I wanted him to prove he could fight—that he could defeat the cursed illness that was eating him from the inside.
"You will overcome this, Felix. And I will help you every step of the way. I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you again—not in this life. I won't let it."