"How do you two know each other?" Elizabeth asked the lusty elf that was glued to my arm while we all were traveling towards the Icathia kingdom - the land of demons. "You two seem quite close."
Luna giggled. "We are close, it's good that you have the awareness to see that. In fact we're destined to be together - that is the will and the promise of the goddess." She clung to me even harder. "Isn't that right, hubby?"
"H-hubby?" Elizabeth's face darkened. "I see…"
"For the last time, I'm not your hubby, you lusty elf!" I shouted, trying to push the damn girl away from me, but to no avail. Luna, despite her fragile appearance, had the strength of an ox.
"Oh, what are you talking about, hubby? Have you forgotten that you took my first kiss? How could you dump me right after?" Luna continued the assault.
I was about to throw the elf out of the wagon, but noticed Elizabeth's pale expression and instinctively knew that I had to deal with a more pressing matter at first. "Don't listen to her, Elizabeth, she's saying all that just to annoy me, there's nothing between us, I swear!"
"What are you talking about, hubby? We did kiss, or have you already forgotten that?"
"Yeah, but that was because I had no choice, you kinda forced me to kiss you!"
"How could I, a weak and frail, exceptionally beautiful and kind girl, have forced a lecherous, cruel, evil, self centered man like you to do anything that you didn't want to do, much less kissing?" Luna gave an innocent smile. "You were the one that kissed me after all…"
"Don't twist the truth, you little…" I turned to Elizabeth. "I can explain, it wasn't my fault, I promise!"
"There's no need to explain anything, especially to someone like me." Elizabeth gave me the most genuine and sad smile I've ever seen. "We aren't together and there's no way that we could be. I wish the two of you as much happiness as possible."
"Elizabeth, I…" Does this mean that she doesn't want to be with me? I sighed. "Well, whatever…"
Luna smiled and got close to my ear. "It seems that I've won." She whispered. "You're all mine now, hubby, there's nothing standing in the way of our happiness together…"
Through gritted teeth, I addressed Luna. "Look, I'm in no mood to be toyed with by you at the moment, if you value your life, shut up."
The elf smiled. "So does that mean that you'll be in the mood to be toyed with by me later then? I wonder what kind of a game should we play then…"
I snapped. "That's it, punishment time." I picked her up, placed her sideways on my lap and began drumming her stupid ass for daring to provoke a god. To my great annoyance, the lusty elf seemed to actually enjoy getting spanked.
"Um, yes, more… Harder, harder, I'm about to…" She proclaimed.
I was becoming angrier and angrier with every sound coming from Luna's mouth and was about to smack her so hard that I'd powderize her rear end until I heard a daunting question from Elizabeth. "Is this what you're into, sir Adam? I never took you for one of those people…"
"No, I…" I was about to defend myself when Luna interrupted me.
"That's right, as you can see, my hubby is madly in love with my back side. As long as he can do whatever he wants to it, he has no need for someone like you." The elf gave a villainous smile while I was considering the most painful way to end her.
This girl, it's like she had planned the whole interaction out to make me look like I was madly in love with her. Was this whole thing done with the help of the goddess and if so, what does the goddess gain from all of this? I looked at Luna who was basking in self satisfaction. If she used her power for the sake of others instead of using it to annoy the shit out of me, she would be useful. I'll let her live, for now.
I looked at Elizabeth, she wasn't looking good. She was smiling on the outside, but it was evident that she wasn't happy. I sighed. How am I going to fix this? I looked at Pain, the stupid dragon wasn't even trying to hide her amusement. And how am I going to punish this one?
Our journey continued. Day by day, the lusty elf clung to me more and more and Elizabeth became more and more distant. Whenever I tried to talk to Elizabeth, Luna would miraculously appear and ruin any chance of a talk between us. The elf either had a sixth sense or she was following me constantly.
Finding Luna sleeping in my tent wrapped around me when I woke up in the morning became the norm. I won't lie, she was tempting, I almost slipped a few times, but I had someone else on my mind and when I remembered that it was Luna that was thwarting my attempts at romance, the temptation to fuck turned into a temptation to kick the shit out off. But then again, she'd probably enjoy it…
Finally the day came when Luna contracted food poisoning after drinking from the bottle that I was so gratuitous to give her and only her. The time was ripe, it was now or never, while the lusty elf was rolling in agony clutching her stomach, I took Elizabeth by the hand and took her aside from the rest for a talk.
"Elizabeth, I really, really don't give a flying fuck about the elf, we're not together and we'll never be, you have to believe me!" I said.
"Okay, but… Why are you telling me this?"
"I… Well I just wanted you to know this and…" I scratched the back of my head. "You know, I… I think that I'm in love with you, please go out with me." Her eyes sparkled. I continued. "I liked you from the very beginning, from the moment that I saw your unrelenting resolve to protect your little sister and, I don't know when, but I fell for you. I tried to distance myself from you and tried distancing you from myself by bullying you because of my curse, that threatened your life, but…" I wasn't able to finish my ramble, Elizabeth knocked my mask off and kissed me, silencing both my raising mouth and mind.
"I love you two." She whispered, clutching my coat in her arms. "I love you and I want to be with you, but that doesn't mean that I have to be your only one. I don't mind it if you want to marry Luna, as long as you keep me by your side."
"That's nonsense, who do you think I am? I said that I love you, not want you, not desire your body, but love you." I grabbed her chin and lifted her face so that our eyes met. "You are the only one that I want, the only one that I need. Besides…" I added. "The elf is far too annoying to deal with, so I'd rather avoid any kind of relationship with that one."
Elizabeth smiled. "That makes me happy, but, if you ever want to, I don't mind sharing. I know that I'm not good enough to be with you…"
"Don't be absurd!" I shouted. "In what way are you worse than me?"
"Well, I'm poor." She started.
"I was poor for the majority of my life as well." I countered.
"I'm not as strong as you."
"I could never muster up the strength to take so many whip lashes for someone as you did if not for my enhanced body, so you're stronger."
"I'm… I'm a slave."
"I granted you freedom, putting you on the same level as anyone else. You, Elizabeth, are a cut above the rest, be proud of that, as for me… I am a friendless loser, with trust issues, stupid as a rock and twice as dense. My superiority complex and excessive violence is a coping mechanism for the fact that the only good thing about me is my strength. I'm as lazy as they get and painfully untalented, there's literally no hope for me. Now that I think about it, you'd be doing me a great favor just by dating me, I'm that helpless."
Elizabeth started laughing. "You're funny."
"It's all true, you know."
She gave me a lovely smile. "I know and I still like you. By the way…" She looked at my face. "Is this really your face? How should I put it, it doesn't suit you."
"Why does everyone that sees me without a mask immediately say that?"
"Well, this nice face doesn't suit your twisted personality." She said with a smile.
"Is this really something you should say to the person you are together with?" I sighed. "Fine, If you really want to see the real me, I'll show you. A fair warning, though, this face is far better than my real one."
"I don't really care about how you look, I've already seen the real you." She said with a smile. "I'm just curious what kind of face matches the real you."
"Fine, just… Don't dump me after…"
She chuckled.
I released my seal, a huge wave of mana escaped my body, my hair turned grey, face changed. "Well?" I asked. "How is it? Pretty bad, huh?"
She smiled again, approached me, took my face in her arms and gave me a kiss. "It suits you quite well. I think that I prefer this one over the other."
"Well, you're a strange one, forgoing the handsome playboy for some regular smuck that seems to not have slept in years…"
"The handsome playboy's face doesn't match your bitter, insecure, cruel and callous personality, so it's weird to see it on you."
"Again, that isn't something that you should be saying to your other half."
"But it's the truth…" She smiled. "Even though you are bitter, insecure, cruel and callous, you are still very nice when you want to be."
"Me nice? Don't make me laugh."
We heard a rustling in the bushes near us, I instinctively stepped between Elizabeth and the danger, drawing one of my swords. A pointy eared nuisance jumped out, still clutching her stomach. "What happened between the two of you?" She asked. "Why do you, guys, seem so happy?"
"Nothing much." I smiled. "I won our little game, she's mine and there's nothing you can do about it."
Luna seemed irritated, then sighed and gave a smile. "What do you know, the goddess was right…"
"What do you mean by that?" Elizabeth asked.
"She said that the two of you would end up together no matter what I did. But… Don't think that I'm going to give up! I'll fight for him, I'll fight for my happiness tooth and nail, just you watch!"
"I don't mind shari…" Elizabeth changed her mind mid sentence. "NO! I won't share him with anyone. Let the better one win!"
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