"Hey, the first-year boy Morikawa-san. If we talk to him, maybe we have a chance to have a boyfriend in our lives."
"That's true, but... we can't forget about Edomae-san. It's clear as day that she likes him."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk... the one who decides is Morikawa-san. Besides, do you think we'll ever meet another guy who's an angel like him?"
"Sigh~ okay, you have a point. Let's just try talking to him. Knowing him, he won't make fun of us. Look... he's coming from the school entrance."
"That's the spirit!" — she said, running toward the boy.
Then both innocent girls approached the boy in question.
"Hello Morikawa-san! It's a great day, right? Is it okay... to... talk..."
"Hey! Don't rush! Sorry for our sudden approach, it's just that we want... to..."
Huh? What happened? I thought they wanted to talk to me, but why did they suddenly go silent?
"Sorry!" — both girls said in unison and left me behind.
What just happened? Well, whatever. Let's just go to the classroom.
As I walked through the corridor, I could feel all the gazes from the girls, whispering about something. It happened on the first day of school, but since then, everyone had stopped doing that. Until now.
Oh! Maybe it's because of my last speech at the auditorium? Or maybe because of my test score? I can't think of any other reason for all this attention. But anyway... let's just go to class.
On the way, I met the P.E. teacher, so I greeted her like I usually do.
"Good morning, teacher."
"Oh! Good morning, Morikawaaaaa... san."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing! Good morning!"
What was that about? Anyways.
When I arrived in my classroom, everyone stopped talking. I don't know what's going on today, but let's not think too much about it right now. I need to focus on my studies.
"Hey Tomoki, what's—gasp!"
"Morning, Ryuichi. Are you okay?"
He started coughing out of nowhere—maybe something went down the wrong pipe. That happens to me sometimes too.
"Good morning, Tomoki-kun! Today is a great day, right?"
"Good morning, Ayame-san. Yeah... you're right."
It seems Ayame-san is in a good mood. I'm glad she's having a nice day. If she had reacted in a strange way like everyone else, then maybe... maybe I'd be at fault.
Look, she's smiling and... is it me, or is she becoming pale?
"Ayame-san, are you okay?"
"Yeah... I'm okay. Don't worry about me... pant" — She started hyperventilating.
"Ayame-san!? Are you really okay? Let's go to the infirmary!"
Forget about everything else—let's take her there now!
"Excuse me, Ayame-san." — I carried her straight to the infirmary.
"I'm fine—Eh!?"
...
"It seems you entered a panic state, but you've calmed down already. Don't worry, it's nothing serious." — said the male nurse.
"Phew—I'm glad to hear that. Ayame-san, if there's something I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask."
"It's okay, Tomoki-kun... I just had a... yeah, a nightmare this morning."
"To the point of panic? Must've been really scary. Oh yeah... thank you very much for helping us, sir!"
"Thank you very much, sir."
"I just did my job, don't worry. But there's something that concerns me right now."
"About Ayame-san's health?"
"No, boy. You."
"Me? What do you mean?"
"You look terrible. Did something happen?"
"No... I'm totally fine."
"Sigh~" — The male nurse grabbed a mirror and showed it to me. — "Now do you understand?"
"..."
"Tomoki-kun, are you okay?" — Ayame-san asked, grabbing my sleeve while looking up at me.
"Yeah, don't worry. I just didn't sleep well today, that's all."
Then Ayame-san silently looked into my eyes. Gradually, she gently smiled and caressed my cheek. Then she turned to the nurse.
"Sir, today we want to skip class. Can we rest here?"
"Of course. Feel free to rest on the litter. I'll notify your homeroom teacher."
"Thank you very much!"
The nurse left the infirmary—probably to notify our teacher.
Now that I know I look terrible, maybe I should rest. But I'm not sleepy. Besides, I need to focus on my studies.
"Ayame-san, I'll go back to class. You should rest a bit." — I stood and headed to the door.
"Tomoki-kun, sit here! Listen to me first!" — she said firmly.
Whoa... I think this is the first time she's given me an order.
"Look... I know studying is important, especially for you. But you need rest too! Otherwise, you'll never learn, got it?"
"Yes ma'am!"
"Good! Now... can you tell me what happened to you?" — she asked in a gentle tone.
"Nothing happened, Ayame-san. I swear."
"..." — She silently stared into my eyes. It seems I can't lie to her.
"Seriously, Ayame-san, how do you do that?"
"I have a knack for it. Fufu~."
"You could be a detective in the future, you know..." — I said playfully, then sighed. — "To summarize—I had a fight with my father. I couldn't sleep because I know deep down I could've handled the situation better... but as you can see, I didn't."
"..." — She remained silent, looking at me.
"But don't worry. I just need time to clear my mind. But hey, thanks for listening! I mean it."
"Tomoki-kun. The reason I panicked earlier is because when I saw you, I thought for a moment that you... hated me. But when you started calling me, carrying me, worrying about me—I realized I was wrong."
"Ayame-san... hey... I would never hate you. You're my friend. You almost gave me a heart attack back there... sorry if I was rude."
"Fufu~ that's okay. That's why I want you to know—for me, there's nothing that could make me happier than helping you whenever you need it." — she said with a gentle smile.
There's so much I want to say. That I came from another world. That I had good friends. Admirable parents. That I was blessed with many things I slowly realized I lost.
And one more thing that always lingers in the corner of my mind: the only reason I could be her friend is because this world is unfair to women. I only met her because of the privileges of being a man—not because of my efforts.
We were never meant to meet in the first place.
Yeah, there's so much I want to say—but I won't. Nobody needs to know. It's something I'll keep forever.
But at least, there's something I want to get off my chest right now.
"It's just... I couldn't accept it. Even though I knew it in my head, I just... couldn't accept it. I had too many expectations for him, and when he didn't meet them, I couldn't handle my own damn frustration. Now I've made things more awkward between us. But you know what? I really don't care about him."
"Tomo...ki."
"~Sigh. But... not for my mother. She likes him. She loves him. Just being near him is enough to make her smile. I really don't know what made her fall in love with that kind of guy. He didn't show up for months, Ayame-san—months! Then he just appears out of nowhere, asks me to choose between him and Mom, and still has the nerve to blame her for how I speak? I just can't accept that!"
Yeah... I can't accept that guy as my father. Acknowledging him would feel like spitting on everything my real father was. So I just can't.
"..." — She remained in silence, surprised by my sudden change in tone.
"Sorry for raising my voice." — What am I even doing? Is this how I repay her kindness? I don't even have the right to talk about him anymore. God—my head's a mess.
"It's okay. If you want to vent, I'm here to listen. No need to hold back." — She smiled, but I could tell it was a bit forced.
"Thanks, Ayame-san. For listening... and for all your help. Sorry for not being able to repay it."
She suddenly hugged me and gently patted my head.
"Ayame-san!?"
"If you don't want it, it's okay to push me away. But this is what my mom does when I'm sad."
"I... see."
"Tomoki-kun... you really love your mother."
"Yeah... I want her to be happy. She deserves that. She raised me all by herself. So at least, I want someone to acknowledge her effort. The only problem is, the person she wants that from doesn't even care. While she's alone and hurting, he's out there happily receiving love from his wives."
I know I've only spent a short time with my current mom—but that was enough to know she's just like my real one. And it hurts.
"That really sucks."
"Right? But... do you think I made a mistake?"
"I don't know what the right answer is. But I don't think you need to worry about what's right or wrong. Because to me, all that matters is that you're okay. That's why—don't worry. Whatever you choose, I'll be by your side."
Hearing that suddenly made me sleepy. Her voice somehow brought me peace.
Why does she care so much about me? Will I ever be able to repay her? Wait—I still need to study, or I'll lose my scholarship!
Well... let's think about it later. Let's just sleep.
As I was drifting off, I heard a voice—but I was too tired to fully hear it.
"Tomoki. I love you."