"He was… the kindest person I ever had the chance to know. Even though for most of you, he was only known as this elder who happened to have a great genius - if I can call myself so - and a great demon as his disciples. Someone who managed to reach the Core Formation stage through endless effort, placing himself above the common cultivators, but at the same time, still was only at the threshold of what could be considered above the common.
This is how Liu Jianhong is most commonly known: a man moderately above the rest by himself, but only truly remarkable through his disciples, or because he belonged to a great clan. And every time this thought comes to my mind, it makes me sad, because he was so much more than just that. My master was, before everything else, a great person. The kindest man I have ever had the fortune to come across. Under his sermons and occasional fan strikes on the head, he was the one who took care of me for nearly as long as I can remember.
When I was two, my parents died in a fight with an infamous demonic cultivator and from then on, I never truly had talent to create bonds with other people. And quite honestly, the other clansmen's sons and daughters did not make it any easier for me. Even though most have trouble admitting it, or prefer to turn an eye, it is something that can be found everywhere, even in the most righteous clans: when people aim for heights they don't believe they will ever reach, it creates frustration and when they see people who stand beneath them, whether because of a lower talent, an uglier appearance, or a lack of support, as it was once my case, they far too often choose to relieve their frustration on them.
But my master was different. He always protected me and cheered for me, so I would be better. Even when I was struggling to reach Qi Refining decades ago, he never treated me any differently from my senior brother who, at the time, was known as one of our clan's hopes. Even when our roles reversed, and I turned out to be a genius while this same senior brother suddenly suffered a bottleneck that would seemingly never pass, he didn't treat us any differently.
I'm sure someone amidst the crowd will believe that giving two disciples the same treatment despite drastically different results is foolish. There's bound to be at least one person… no, probably more. But I want you to know that: thanks to this treatment, thanks to this equality provided, my senior brother and I, despite all our differences, could still become close. He was my first friend, and the only one I had before my talent was revealed.
I am not saying that none of my current friends and loved ones don't appreciate me for my personality but I know that deep down, they only came to me in the first place because they were drawn by these hands of mine that can make swords shine with such brightness, and display such power. Now, the two persons that loved me for more than these hands are gone, though in different ways.
But the difference is: my senior brother… no, the infamous Zhang Baotian, decided to take this path on his own. I still remember the face master was making when he learnt about it… I can never forget about it. After that, and before too, there were several occasions where I saw him be sad, distressed, depressed, but never to this point. That day, even though I had to face a tragic loss, my pain was nothing compared to master's.
He… never was quite the same after that, it's true. Sometimes, he looked more like an empty shell of himself. But even then, there was still enough of him left for me to be absolutely sure that the kind, righteous person I admired was still there. And then, one day, because I couldn't protect him during a mission, he wasn't.
It's strange really. Decades ago, master barely managed to reach the Core Formation realm by burning away all his remaining potential and I knew that, independently of how much effort I would make, it was impossible to prolong his lifespan past the five hundred years it granted him. Back then, I should have come to terms with the fact that he would die one day. But even if I did, I would still not have been able to realize it could happen so soon… Even now, I still can't fully realize it! I still don't want to accept that he is truly gone!
But he is, and I wasn't even there, because the person responsible for his death even managed to take that away from me. Not Zhang Baotian, nor any known figure of the cultivation world, but a nameless demonic cultivator, who was never heard of before. This… thing, made me understand one thing: in this world, not even the highest of cultivations is enough to be certain to avoid tragedy, because even the mightiest ones are unable to ensure the protection of the weaker ones that they love.
We live in a world where the weak is but a statue of glass, and the strong is fated to always fear for the glass statues around them to shatter, bound to always feel this fear inside of them until it devours every emotion, even themselves, leaving behind only an empty heart.
Here is a story about master: when I was around thirteen, my senior brother drew on master's face and lied that it was me. I was spanked for several minutes before it could finally be established that I wasn't the one who did it. Haha, the amount of spanking senior brother received for that is something I can barely imagine. But then, I remember that to apologize, he took me for a tour of the clan on his back, flying high in the sky. And said to me these simple words: 'I am sorry'.
Master was not a perfect person, nobody is, but he was someone exceptional, one of the rare persons in this world whose heart remained just, never abusing his higher position to relieve his frustration on others or deny his faults.
Though my master, the man named Liu Jianhong, wasn't the strongest or the most talented… in other words, the best cultivator… He was by far the best person I was fortunate enough to meet.
And after his centuries of unfaltering services, his time to return to the heavens arrived. May you rest well, Liu Jianhong.
Rest in peace, my master"
.
.
.
Later, as his master's body was incinerated, Liu Zhenyun's face remained stoic. Not because he was not sad, or that he didn't have any tear left, but because he simply didn't want to give any more of it to this world. Not to these people who wanted to stop him from flying to burn his wings, neither to those who wished to feel better by getting the proof that even those more talented than themselves could be miserable too.
Zhenyun was done lowering himself to their level so they wouldn't have to lift their heads to look him in the eyes. These people… they did not deserve it.
Seeing Jin Yue walk up to him, he opened his mouth to speak:
"I intend to be designated as the next clan patriarch in the following year" he said calmly. "I already spoke with the current patriarch, he fully agreed to retire early, so he can focus on his cultivation to attempt the Nascent Soul advancement"
Jin Yue's face didn't change too much, but one could still see hints of discomfort.
"I see" she said. "It is… pretty sudden, but I understand. After all, now, not only is your power almost an entire realm above that of everyone else in the clan, but your cultivation itself is also higher too. You're the icon of our clan, nobody would see any problem about this, nor would I"
Zhenyun nodded, and then added:
"Well, in truth, it's a bit of a particular situation. I only intend to remain as the patriarch until our clan's position has been stabilized more. If the current patriarch can advance, it's great, else I will find someone else to take the post after me, when I reach the end of the Void Ascension realm and exit this world"
"And you plan… to leave us behind?"
Zhenyun chuckled a bit, and shook his head:
"Don't worry too much" he said. "Did you know? Though most Void Ascension cultivators decide to wait until they reach the grand perfection stage, in truth, one can attempt ascension from the mid stage on. It's just that, as ascension is basically the same as trying to escape this world and trying to advance to the Vortex Walker realm at the same time. With my talent, Heavenly Deity Defying Heart, I could probably ascend on my own at the mid stage, but if I wait to reach the grand perfection stage anyway, I'm confident I can definitely bring someone along with me"
"But wouldn't it make it more dangerous?" , if not
"It's alright. If it's multiple people, including those at the Qi Building and below, it would indeed be too dangerous. But if it's a single person at the Core Formation… no, a person who will probably be at the peak of the Nascent Soul realm by the time I ascend, being able to shoulder part of the burden and take care of themselves, then there shouldn't be any problem"
"So you're planning to just leave the rest behind?"
Zhenyun frowned:
"What's with all these questions?" he asked. "Do you think I'm being selfish?"
"No, no, of course, by the time you reach the end of the Void Ascension realm, the Liu clan will have one of, if not the most prominent status among the Twenty Grand Clans, with you leading it. It's absolutely natural to want to explore the upper realms after this, and you should not let yourself be chained to this small world of ours" Jin Yue replied. "If anything, I'm truly touched that you wish to take me rather than someone else. It's just… the usual you wouldn't have declared such a thing so naturally"
The young Nascent Soul swordsman sighed:
"Maybe you are right" he said. "Maybe as time passes, everything is bound to change, including myself. But I can at least guarantee you that my feelings for you have not changed, Yue"
The couple shared a kiss for a few moments.
"Zhenyun,let me ask you one last question" Jin Yue said. "When you said that everyone coming after your master and senior brother was first drawn by your hands rather than your heart, you were including me, weren't you?"
Zhenyun opened his mouth, ready to deny. Then he closed it, and looked up at the sky. He lowered his head back, closing his eyes for an instant, and then opened them again:
"Yes" he replied frankly. "I'm sorry, Yue"
His partner didn't get angry, and simply took him in his arms:
"It's alright, I am not angry" she said. "While it does make me sad that you say it, there is likely more truth in this than I'd wish to admit. I truly love you as a person, but I could never say fully honestly that I never considered your talent as part of what attracted me"
Zhenyun, this time, allowed himself to shed a tear:
"If you told me the opposite, if you swore that you only ever loved me for who I am on the inside, I would have believed you" he said.
"If I was ready to lie about such a thing, it would mean that I don't truly love you at all" Jin Yue said. "You deserve better than lies"
"Haha, I guess I should feel thankful for it"
Zhenyun clenched his teeth:
"Thanks to you, I can finally see the truth as it is: when I awakened my talent, it became a major part of who I am. If someone feels affection toward me in any way, it will also be in part due to it, as well. And once again due to this talent, I nearly have the guarantee to keep living on for a long, long time, and to elevate myself above all the ones I will ever cherish. And so, in this world where it seems as if only I am not made of glass, I will eventually come to watch everyone else shatter into shards.
Haha, do you hear me? Self-pitying because I'm too talented, what a clown. I, I, I, from the moment I started talking during the funeral speech until now, how many times have I said this word, 'I'? I'm egocentric and hypocritical, even going as far as stealing the attention away from my own master during his funeral while mourning him.
And even then, in addition to all of these filthy thoughts, there's a part of my mind that cannot stop from thinking that I would be more happy if I simply stopped viewing everyone else as monsters, even though it's the exact thing I encouraged everyone to stop doing. Who knows, maybe deep inside of me, there's a piece of trash who simply believes that being a genius makes it so that I'm above the rules, uh?
It's… it's not me… but it's there, I can feel it in my soul. I'm so, so scared. Of just losing the empathy that makes me who I am and becoming this empty, inhumane version of myself. Often, back when I was talentless, I imagined myself as a main character of a story, as a hero whose talent would shine brighter than everyone else's. And then, it became my reality and I loved it.
But now, when my master was killed like an animal because of it, I feel like I woke up from a dream. When I think about it, every clue about Baotian's cultivation blockage led to me as well, even his own words. Yes, the two only people who loved me solely for who I was, both gone because of this heavenly gift of mine.
This is my life now, and all I can do is accept it and feel grateful anyway for the fortune I was granted. This is the role heaven gave me, this is my life, and in the end, I don't hate it. But I can't find it in me to love myself as someone who never managed to accomplish anything through his own willpower, only ever shining in the role of heaven's blessed, and miserably failing as everything where my talent can't solve the problem in my stead. When I think that I let master's death go unpunished… that I let my anger be overwhelmed just because of an unexpected scare…
I just… cannot love myself…"
Jin Yue didn't say anything, simply embracing him more intensely, but her eyes were now as wet as his. The two of them kept embracing each other, both crying.
Finally, after a long moment, they separated and, as they were about to each go their own way for the day, Zhenyun left two last sentences behind:
"... because no matter what I accomplish, I will always feel that every success will be thanks to heaven, and every failure will be because of Liu Zhenyun"