Ellie tried to act like things were normal. Like they could still be in each other's lives without everything falling apart.
She smiled when they passed in the hallway, waved when they locked eyes in class. And Astrid played along, forcing smiles that never reached her eyes.
But inside, it burned.
It burned when she saw Astrid talking to someone else, laughing like she hadn't once cried over losing Ellie. It burned when she sat next to her in biology, their shoulders inches apart but worlds away.
And the worst part?
Astrid still looked at her like she meant something.
Like she regretted everything.
Like maybe, just maybe, she still loved her too.
---
Every morning, Ellie would walk through the school's main hallway, a path she couldn't avoid. It was the artery of the school, connecting classrooms, the cafeteria, and the library. And every morning, she would see Astrid.
Astrid, with her effortless charm, surrounded by friends, laughing at jokes, sharing stories. Their eyes would meet for a brief second—a fleeting moment that felt like an eternity. Astrid would offer a small smile, a nod, a silent acknowledgment of their shared past.
Ellie would reciprocate, her lips curling into a semblance of a smile, her heart pounding in her chest. She would then look away, focusing on the lockers, the floor, anything but Astrid.
The act was exhausting.
---
Biology was torture.
Assigned seats placed Ellie and Astrid side by side. The proximity was unbearable. The scent of Astrid's perfume, the way she twirled her pen, her soft humming during lab work—it was all too familiar, too intimate.
Ellie would focus on the textbook, taking meticulous notes, pretending to be engrossed in the material. But her mind would wander, recalling moments when they studied together, shared secrets, and dreamed about the future.
Kyla, on the other hand, seemed to oscillate between indifference and longing. Sometimes, she would glance at Ellie, her eyes filled with unspoken words. Other times, she would act as if Ellie was just another classmate.
The ambiguity was maddening.
Then she finally took a chance to gt closer to Ellie. When the biology class was over—Kyla approach Ellie and sat beside her.
"Hey". Kyla spoke up but wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do.
Ellie looked at her raising one eyebrow. "Hi."
"You seemed unfocused? It's like your body was here but your mind was somewhere else. What's wrong with you?"
Ellie hesitate to answer but she spoke up,"I'm fine, no need for you to worry."
"But I'm worried."
"Like just I said no need for you to worry. I'm fine, that you for being a good friend."
Ellie holds her hands and giving her a smile but full of sadness. But Kyla fell even more hurt inside her knowing that Ellie just looked her as a friend.
"Yeah, just a friend." She whispers.
---
Lunchtime was a strategic operation.
Ellie would scan the cafeteria, ensuring she chose a table far from Astrid's usual spot. Surrounded by her friends—Kyla, Cassandra, Tisha, and Anastasia—she would engage in conversations, laugh at jokes, and share stories.
But her eyes would often drift to Astrid's table.
Astrid, surrounded by her own circle, would occasionally glance in Ellie's direction. Their eyes would meet, and for a brief moment, the bustling cafeteria would fade into the background.
Then, reality would snap back, and they would return to their respective groups, pretending nothing had happened.
---
The constant pretending took a toll on Ellie.
At night, she would lie in bed, replaying the day's interactions, analyzing every glance, every word, every gesture. She would question her decisions, her feelings, her sanity.
She missed Astrid.
She missed the late-night conversations, the shared dreams, the comfort of being understood.
But she also remembered the pain—the arguments, the silence, the heartbreak.
It was a constant battle between longing and self-preservation.
---
One evening, as the group gathered at a local café, Angel noticed Ellie's subdued demeanor.
"Hey, you okay?" Astrid asked, concern evident in her voice.
Ellie hesitated, then nodded. "Just tired."
Kyla wasn't convinced. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
Ellie sighed. "It's just... seeing Astrid every day, pretending like everything's fine. It's exhausting."
Kyla reached out, placing a comforting hand on Ellie's. "You don't have to pretend with me."
Ellie offered a weak smile. "Thanks, Kyla."
---
Weeks passed, and the routine continued.
But one day, after biology class, Astrid approached Ellie.
"Hey," she began, her voice hesitant.
Ellie looked up, surprised. "Hey."
"I was wondering if we could talk. Maybe clear the air?"
Ellie paused, considering. "Okay."
They found a quiet spot outside, away from prying eyes.
"I miss you," Astrid admitted. "Not just as... whatever we were, but as a friend."
Ellie looked away, emotions swirling. "I miss you too. But it's complicated."
"I know," Astrid said softly. "I just wanted you to know."
They sat in silence, the weight of their shared history hanging between them.
---
After their conversation, things didn't magically return to normal. But there was a shift.
The hallway encounters became less strained. Biology class was still challenging, but the tension eased. They began to rebuild a semblance of friendship, acknowledging their past while navigating the present.
Ellie still had moments of doubt, of longing, but she also found strength in her friends, in herself.
She realized that healing wasn't linear. It was messy, filled with setbacks and progress.
But she was moving forward.