Mira made a zipping motion across her lips. "My lips are sealed. For now."
For approximately three seconds, Mirajane Strauss sincerely considered keeping her promise. But three seconds was, by her standards, an eternity more than enough time for an idea to hatch, sprout, and grow unruly roots. Besides, she reasoned, what was Fairy Tail for if not a little carefully applied chaos? Especially when it involved her eternal rival, the so-called "invincible" Erza Scarlet.
Mirajane watched Kaia blend back into the bustle of the guild, relief written across her face. She was cute, this new girl clever, scrappy, and far too easy to fluster. Mirajane could see why Erza was attached. The thought made her grin, sharp as a cat discovering cream left unattended.
It was a universal law possibly an ancient magical contract that when Erza was happy, Mirajane felt compelled to meddle. It wasn't (only) about rivalry, or their history of building and destroying every guild table in Fiore. It was about principle. A Scarlet should not get too comfortable, lest she forget who was queen of mischief.
Mira lounged against the bar, plotting, the air around her tingling with the leftover magic of a morning fight. The sun caught in her hair, throwing silver streaks across her eyes, and her mind whirred faster than Natsu spotting free food.
She considered her arsenal. Pranks, after all, were an art form. There were the classics switching Erza's armor polish with glue, transmuting her swords into licorice (delicious, but sticky), or the legendary exploding pastry incident (which no one would ever prove was her doing). But today called for something more… sophisticated. Something with heart.
She glanced back at Kaia, who was laughing actually laughing with Lisanna and Elfman. Kaia, new and awkward and already halfway ensnared in Erza's orbit. There was an opportunity here, a way to unbalance Scarlet without ever swinging a fist.
It was time for psychological warfare.
Mirajane's smile widened. She called it The Big Sister Manoeuvre a combination of outrageous meddling, embarrassing revelations, and just enough plausible deniability to avoid cleaning duty for a week. If Kaia was flustered now, Mira would make her combust. And if Erza, the queen of stoic, got caught in the crossfire…well, all the better.
She waited until the perfect moment: a lull in the guild's thunder, when most eyes were on Gray and Natsu's ongoing destruction of a table (it was always a table), and Makarov was too busy lecturing to notice. Mirajane sashayed across the floor, stopping only to pluck a rose from a vase Erza's favorite, the deep red kind she pretended not to like.
The guild was a symphony of clamor and light, banners swaying, magic sparking. Mira moved through it with the easy confidence of someone who'd grown up in chaos, slipping between brawling mages and giggling children, past Macao's snoring form and Cana's latest attempt at card tricks. She found Erza by the mission board, reading with the intensity of someone searching for the meaning of life—or maybe just a job that didn't involve livestock.
"Erzaaaa~" Mirajane sang, twirling the rose between her fingers.
Erza glanced up, wary. "What do you want?"
"Why so suspicious?" Mirajane asked, all innocence. "Can't I just say hello to my favorite rival?"
Erza's eyebrow twitched. "You never just say hello. You're plotting something."
Mirajane pressed a hand to her heart. "I'm wounded. Truly. I only wanted to congratulate you on your latest mission. Kaia said you were…very supportive."
The faintest flush touched Erza's cheeks. "We completed the job. Nothing more."
"Oh, but that's not what Kaia said," Mira said, voice low and conspiratorial. "She mentioned something about a sleepless night, a great deal of… warmth."
She watched with glee as Erza's composure cracked. The formidable Titania, S-Class ice queen, reduced to wide-eyed panic by the power of implication.
"It's not what you think!" Erza blurted.
Mirajane blinked, feigning surprise. "Oh? Then what do I think, Erza?"
For a heartbeat, Erza was silent, caught between denial and an urge to summon a meteor to end this conversation.
Mira let her squirm, savoring every delicious second.
"Are you done?" Erza finally asked, voice low and dangerous.
"Not nearly," Mirajane replied sweetly. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that everyone's talking about you and Kaia. It's the talk of the guild, you know."
It wasn't (yet), but Mira had always believed in creating her own reality. If it embarrassed Erza enough to snap her out of that carefully cultivated composure, so much the better.
She slipped the rose behind Erza's ear a peace offering, or perhaps a flag of surrender, though neither girl was ever likely to wave one. "You should relax, Erza. Let yourself have a little fun. Life's too short to spend it in armor all the time."
Before Erza could protest (or throw the rose), Mirajane was gone, leaving only a trail of perfume and the faint sound of laughter.
Back at the bar, Lisanna was waiting. She had inherited the Strauss gene for chaos, though hers manifested in quiet mischief and the occasional plot to dye Elfman's hair pink. She looked up at Mira with a knowing smile.
"What did you do this time?"
Mirajane shrugged, smoothing her skirt. "Nothing. Yet. But I have plans."
Lisanna grinned, sliding a cup of tea across the bar. "Does it involve Erza?"
"Doesn't everything?" Mira replied, sipping the tea and scanning the room for her next opportunity.