Chapter 100: Lost in Hell, Having Too Much Fun
A startup was in the works.
The four of them quickly reached a consensus: borrow whatever they needed from the school.
No tools? Borrow from the school.
No ingredients? Borrow from the school.
Everything would come from the school.
Wade and the others took care of getting equipment and ingredients, while Allen handled market research.
Morning arrived, and students enjoyed their breakfast, settling into their seats in preparation for the day's classes.
Allen, watching Colossus walk past, narrowed his eyes, deep in thought.
"If I sell him as scrap metal, he might be worth quite a bit."
Colossus, Piotr, suddenly felt a chill down his spine. Turning around, he saw a guy in a hospital gown eyeing him with an unsettling look.
Hand on his chin, eyes squinting, wearing a smirk that screamed mischief—it took all of Piotr's self-control not to punch that face with his steel fist.
---
On the bleachers, three girls sat together, with no one daring to come within twenty meters of them.
First school tyrant: Bullethead Ellie.
Second school tyrant: Illyana.
And Ellie's girlfriend, Yukio.
The trio was infamous for their combat prowess among students.
Cyclops, Phoenix, Iceman, and Pyro—being first-years—didn't interact much with them.
Of course, despite their reputation, the tyrants weren't bullies who tormented the weak. Instead, they were the type to violently put an end to actual bullying.
Essentially, they bullied the bullies, wiped them out, and became the sole rulers of the schoolyard.
---
"Illyana, I heard some maniac was bothering you."
It was common knowledge that Colossus was Magik's older brother and also the school's security captain. There was no way he would tolerate anyone harassing his sister.
Not that Illyana needed protection—her own power was terrifyingly strong.
"Yeah, that maniac is me."
Allen suddenly popped up from the side, greeting Colossus with a sly grin.
"Hey, Butt-lossus, have you ever watched Fullmetal Alchemist?"
"…"
Piotr looked completely lost.
Alchemy? What? He was a real mutant, not some alchemist.
"I'm warning you, stay away from my sister," Piotr said sternly.
"Then I'll stay closer to you instead," Allen replied with sudden realization.
"Stay away from me too," Piotr said, growing impatient.
Allen's expression instantly turned melancholic.
With a lonely, desolate look, he turned away, as if he had lost everything in life.
A flicker of guilt flashed in Piotr's eyes—maybe he had been too harsh?
The guy was clearly mentally unstable, and he hadn't shown any real hostility. Maybe he just wanted someone to talk to.
It wasn't right to hold a mentally ill person to normal standards.
But before he could finish that thought, Allen suddenly spun around and leaped back.
"I ran far away! But now I jumped back!"
"I jumped away again! And now I'm back!"
Allen repeated the process a few times, grinning smugly.
"Come on, hit me! If you don't, that means you approve of my marriage with Little Magik."
So obnoxious!
Too obnoxious!
Colossus instantly regretted ever feeling sorry for him.
A lunatic like this couldn't be dealt with rationally.
Clenching his fists, he made up his mind—this guy needed a beating to settle down.
"You really want to do this?"
Allen turned and bolted, running with an exaggeratedly flamboyant gait.
Holding his fingers in an elegant pose, he looked back provocatively.
"Come on, Colossussy, chase me! Hehehehehe…"
His flamboyant movements, combined with that smug expression…
Every student watching felt an overwhelming urge to stab him just to cleanse their eyes.
"Get back here so I can kill you!"
Piotr gritted his teeth and took off in pursuit, feeling an unbearable, skin-crawling discomfort.
"If you catch me, I'll let you 'hehehe' me…"
"Hehe your damn head!"
One chased, one fled—their figures disappearing into the distance.
---
Yukio chuckled, "Colossus and him sure hit it off. Love at first fight."
Ellie and Illyana, both on the cold and aloof side, didn't really appreciate jokes. Yukio, on the other hand, was lively and cheerful.
"I kind of want to beat him up too," Illyana said seriously.
Allen's shamelessness made even Deadpool look tame.
For the introverted Magik and Bullethead Ellie, dealing with him was overwhelming.
"I think he's funny," Yukio said.
She got along well with Wade, so she naturally found Allen entertaining rather than annoying.
"You're getting carried away," Ellie warned.
As a yuri enthusiast, Ellie had a strong possessiveness toward her girlfriend.
She didn't like her getting too close to men—especially since Yukio swung both ways.
---
"I accept your pursuit!"
Allen suddenly appeared behind them, startling the trio.
"When did you get back?" Yukio asked in surprise.
They had just seen Allen being chased into the woods—how did he reappear so suddenly?
"I don't like men," Allen stated matter-of-factly.
"That's why he'll never catch me."
"…"
"Little Magik, I'm starting a business soon. I'll buy you lots and lots of stockings," Allen declared to Illyana.
"Don't worry about not being able to wear them all—you can always put them over your head."
"Stay away from me. I don't like you," Illyana responded seriously.
"You're just in denial," Allen smirked, flipping his hair dramatically.
"My damn, irresistible charm… even I can't resist myself."
Illyana grabbed Allen's collar, eyes narrowing.
"Stop bothering me."
"If you don't like me, then why are you closing the distance?" Allen teased.
"Slipping up, aren't you?"
His words only made her angrier.
In an instant, space shattered like a mirror, transforming into a different realm.
Illyana's powers activated.
In her right hand, the Soulsword manifested, her eyes glowing bright blue.
A small dragon landed on her shoulder, sensing her anger. It spat a warning flame toward Allen.
"This is Hell. If I kill you here, no one will ever know," Illyana threatened.
The sky was ablaze, the ground scorched brown.
Distant trees burned, making the scenery look just like the Hell described in myths.
Allen covered his face, feigning shyness.
"Mmm… I wasn't ready yet, and you're already going this far? How forceful~."
"…"
Are you an idiot?
I'm trying to kill you, not… whatever the hell you're thinking.
"Enjoy your time in Hell," Illyana said flatly.
Letting go, she teleported back to reality, leaving Allen stranded.
---
Allen surveyed his surroundings.
"Hell's not that scary."
Then, a thought struck him.
"Am I dead or alive? Or… in some quantum superposition of both?"
"Too deep. I need a local to explain."
Looking around, he saw no clear direction. Without a sun, he couldn't tell where to go.
So, he did the only logical thing—lifted both hands and let his fingers decide.
A skeletal undead was just climbing out of the ground when it saw Allen talking to himself—and then kissing his own hand.
"…The hell is wrong with this guy?"
Before it could react, Allen launched a flying kick.
The skeleton collapsed into a pile of bones.
Its skull rolled away, screaming in terror.
"B-boss! Don't kill me!"
"Call me boss, and I'll teach you how to style your hair in a middle part."
Allen picked up the skull and tucked it under his arm.
"Wait, you don't have hair. Guess I'll get you a wig."
"Yes, Boss."
The situation was pressing, and the skeletal undead had no choice but to concede.
"Boss will lead you to conquer the world!" Allen stood with his hands on his hips, exuding confidence.
"I'm going to seize a vast territory as a betrothal gift for my dear Secret."
"…"
Who was "Secret"?
Boss, stop messing around—Hell is chaotic, and you won't be able to control it.
The skeleton wanted to cry, but unfortunately, it had no tear glands. Its bones were nearly falling apart, and even running away wasn't an option.
Allen tucked the skeletal undead under his arm, chattering nonstop about his tragic yet heroic love story with Secret.
His figure gradually disappeared into the distance.
…
Secret crossed dimensions and returned to the school.
Seeing her return alone, Ellie couldn't help but ask, "You dumped someone in Hell again, didn't you?"
Illyana had done this more than once—sending troublesome classmates to Hell for a period of self-reflection.
"I left him at the edge of Hell. He'll be fine," Illyana said calmly.
She was always careful with her actions, never teleporting people into dangerous areas. After an hour or two, she would retrieve them.
It had proven effective—any student who experienced it never caused trouble again.
Because of this, she was known as the "Big Sis" of the school.
Ellie, on the other hand, had once fought upperclassmen mutants one-on-one, earning her the title of "Boss Lady."
That said, Illyana and Ellie got along well and never bothered to argue over who was the "biggest."
"I have a question."
Yukio asked seriously, "Do you think a lunatic would behave like a normal person and just wait in place?"
"…"
At that reminder, Illyana suddenly realized, "I forgot—he's a lunatic."
Every other student she had sent to Hell had wisely stayed put.
But a guy with a loose screw? Who knew if he'd even find Hell scary?
"Hey, have you seen a lunatic? His name's Allen."
Wade, sporting a pink afro wig, stormed over angrily. "That bastard suggested we start a business together, then disappeared on me!"
"Haven't seen him."
The three girls responded in unison, shaking their heads in perfect synchronization.
There was no way they could spill the truth. If Professor X caught wind of this, a lecture was unavoidable.
If Allen actually died in Hell, the consequences could be catastrophic.
"Shit, this guy's such a headache. I'll keep looking elsewhere."
Wade turned and walked off, thinking about where to start his search.
The three girls secretly sighed in relief—they had dodged that bullet.
"Something's off."
Wade suddenly spun around, the white eye patches on his mask narrowing as if scrutinizing them.
"You're definitely hiding something. This isn't how you usually act."
How did they usually act?
The three girls were puzzled. Was there something different about them today?
Then, Yukio was the first to realize—
"Hey, Wade," she called out. "Did we forget to greet you?"
"That's right! Now it feels normal!" Wade nodded in satisfaction and strode away.
Finally, they could breathe easy.
Ellie suggested, "Let's go find him now. He probably hasn't gone far."
"I…"
Illyana lowered her head in guilt. "I don't have enough power left to teleport across dimensions again. I need half an hour to recover my magic."
Her teleportation abilities relied on basic magic reserves. On a single planet, she could teleport dozens of times without issue.
But crossing dimensions or planetary distances within the solar system? That usually drained over seventy percent of her magic in one go.