I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to rest as much as possible for at least half an hour. I was so exhausted that drowsiness took over me the moment I shut my eyes. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
I had a dream. In it, I saw the world through the eyes of a child. A child who was... me. I couldn't do anything, couldn't speak anything, or move at my own will. I was merely a spectator trapped inside the younger version of myself.
Through those eyes, I saw my mother. She was smiling gently as she told me one of her bedtime stories. Oddly enough, it wasn't the night, but noon. We were sitting in the living room. The sunlight was filtering in through the windows.
"The younger one finally changes the fate after thousands of regressions," she said. "He was finally able to save the older one, his dear friend."
"But they lost something they held precious," I heard my younger self respond. "So... was it really worth it?"
"What makes you think that?"
"They lost someone they love. And there's no guarantee whether or not they'll ever be with them again."
She smiled softly. That familiar, warm smile made me feel like crying even though I couldn't. I wasn't really there.
I was just a spectator, after all.
"They say, 'If you hold someone dearly enough, they'll stay by your side forever.' So, don't worry. They'll definitely find a way back to each other again."
"But how? The story has already ended. Are you going to make up a new story for continuation?"
"Let me think about it," she said with a wink.
Just then I heard footsteps of someone walking towards the living room.
"Is Kane back already?" she asked.
"I don't know. Brother said he was going to come home late from school."
The door opened, and I saw my brother, beaten up—covered in bruises. He had been bullied again by some punks on his way back home. His heavy school bag was on his back, and in one hand, he held a thick book—the kind that seemed to contain all secrets of the world.
It was the same novel my brother always read. I heard that it got completed and was complied into one book. It was thick enough to contain every chapter, from beggining to end. I always wondered what was the story he always read.
But right now, I was mad. My eyes were filled with fury.
"Those punks again beat you?!" I shouted, standing up, "I'm going to kill those bastards!"
Why don't you ever fight back, brother?! My younger self cried inside. I, who was seeing and feeling everything from that child's viewpoint, also felt his emotions.
Yes, it was the same as always. My brother, Kane, always said he could easily fight and beat them to pulp, yet he didn't. It made me mad. Even now, I—who was no longer a child—was mad at Kane who came back without giving them a beating.
"Aries!" Mom shouted, catching me before I ran out. "Sit! Don't think you can resolve everything with strength!"
She scolded me. "Yes, sometimes doing what you were going to do just now is necessary, but often, ignoring the likes of him is better than giving them attention."
"I know that very well!" I shouted, my words filled with anger. I turned to Kane. "But look how badly brother is looking!"
Kane looked at me, and said with a smile, "Aries, don't worry. They're arrogant and haughty. For the ones like them? Only disaster awaits."
"In the end, you're going forgive them, don't you?!" I barked.
Kane sighed. "Aries," he began, a warm and gentle smile over his face. "I've already defeated them. They'll never become what I am. Do you know why? The reason is that I keep trying and improving myself while they don't. I work hard, and they don't."
I gritted my teeth. "So, you're telling me to forgive them?"
"I'm not asking you to do that. Just that let them enjoy their life when they've it easy, because soon, they'll suffer when it'll get hard. However, if you forgive them now, it'll make you feel better."
"Just this once," I said, looking at Kane. "Just this once, I'll forgive them. Should anyone tries to harm you now, I'll return the favor tenfold."
I averted my gaze. I was in pain.
Why does he have to suffer? Why he, who's such a kind and smart person, have to go through this?
Kane walked towards me, slowly, and patted my head, saying, "That's not a bad idea. But don't overdo anything, okay?"
At that moment, I pledged to myself to protect Kane from the like of them no matter what happens.
I won't allow it! I won't let anyone harm my brother!
He then pulled back his hand, and said, "You always wondered what novel I used to read, yeah?"
"Yeah, what about it?" I was still avoiding eye contact with him.
How could I look at him in his eyes after all this? I just didn't want any harm to come to those I love. That was the wish of the kid who only had his brother and mother.
"That's the novel mom tells us as bedtime stories," he said, smiling.
I then turned to mom. "You two like this story so much, no?" She said as she walked up to us. "That story was written by my best friend. She has already written the next part of the story."
Patting our heads, she said with a warm smile, "Tonight, we'll read the next part of the story. Aren't you excited?"
Everything calmed down, just like that.
"But first, let's treat brother's injuries first," I said, smiling.
Now that I remember it, it was the day when I became overprotective over brother. I protected him from anyone who tried to hurt him. At first, I was aggressive. Over the time, I grew less aggressive. And now, I'm just a useless man who couldn't help him.
The thoughts continued to run on my mind like a person running on a running track as the memory faded. It seemed like I had left the viewpoint of the child version of me. I was now standing at the dark place. It was so dark that nothing could be. No light, no sound—nothing.
I want to save brother myself without having to worry about lending help from anyone. I want to protect him myself. Why I can't go back to what I was back then? I want to be able to stand by his stand.
These weren't just thoughts consisting of mere words, but rather the feelings which I carried within for a long time. I realized the fire within me which wanted to stand side by side, shoulder by shoulder, with Kane.
I wanted be on equal footing as him, not just as someone who wants to protect him, but rather someone who's his brother. A brother whose sole wish was for his brother to be happy and be with him forever.
But how should I do that? I'm this weak! I felt like crying because of my helplessness, but I couldn't. Tears wouldn't just come out. I wasn't feeling any emotions except for negative ones either.
I was just numb. I was just feeling hollow.
"Hey, you," I heard a voice from behind. It was a familiar voice. I turned to the source of sound, and saw a kid, bound by chains. That kid was none other than me.
I didn't feel shocked or surprised. I couldn't feel those emotions as I was just numb.
"Hey, why are you glaring at me?" That kid saif with smirk. "Surely, you know who I am. The darkness within you, an emotion, which you sealed off yourself to not be a burden to brother."
I said nothing. I knew who he was. The dark version of me, an emotion, who I'd buried deep inside my heart when I'd grown very overprotective over Kane.
I was ready to kill anyone who wanted to harm him, and beat anyone who badmouth him. It didn't matter who. Be it a girl or a boy. And just like that, I almost killed some punks who wanted to beat Kane at college just because he was smart and popular.
Kane brought me back to the senses. The matter cleared up easily as I'd proof I was just doing that in the act of self defense.
But mom was very sad by what I'd done. I then realized that I was only going cause more problems for both mom and brother. So, I buried down my this dark emotion deep in my heart. I decided to do better and protect Kane by other means.
Slowly, over the course of time, all of these dark emotions had gone. I'd become a person who was completely different from the kid before me. Perhaps, that's also the reason I'd become this useless to not being able to protect Kane.
What an eyesore to see.
"You," he opened his mouth again, "are running again. Instead of accepting it and trying to keep balance between both your dark and light side, you've just accepted the light side and discarded the dark side."
"Shut up," I said, my eyes full of fury and disgust. "Because of you, I brought more troubles to brother and mother."
"You seriously think so? Are you forgetting that I'm the reason brother was protected from those bastards?"
"I've no interest in hearing what you've to say." I looked around to see a way out, but I couldn't find it. "Tell me how can I get out. I've to go and protect brother."
That kid laughed. "Protect? I think you should see this."
Suddenly my dark surroundings lit up. I could see Aariz, Maarij, and Selene fighting a horde of Demonic Worms which they told me about. There weren't just a few in numbers, but rather hundreds in numbers.
Aariz had slung me on his back while standing back, killing the worms which got past Maarij and Selene. "Leo isn't waking up at all! What's the plan?!"
"What the hell is this...?!" I uttered these words as I was completely taken a back by what was happening. Just how long I've been sleeping?!
I heard Maarij yelling, "Aariz, protect him! We'll handle this easily! We can't afford to unleash our powers now! Our only bet is on Leo who can freely use his power!"
"I got it! I'll keep him safe and once he wakes up, I'll have him use his [Light Attribute]!"
Selene yelled as she sliced one of those enormously giant demonic-looking worms, "They swarming and us as if they're running away from something!" She dashed to slice off another. "It seems something dangerous is happening in lower floors!"
Aariz yelled as he dashed backwards, dodging an attack from one of them, "It must be Kane!"
I was so lost in what I was seeing that I'd forgotten where I was. The chuckling of the kid, who was bounded in chains, brought me back to my senses.
"You want to save them, don't you?"
"You—!"
"Ah! Just so y'know, you can't protect them let alone brother as you're now."
I glared at him. "What are you trying to say?"
He smirked. "Nothing, but just unchain me, so I can help you."
Without wasting a second, I gave my reply, "I refuse."
"You think you've a choice?"
"So what if I think?"
He chuckled. "I know what you're thinking. You're me, after all."
"What now? You're trying to strike up a deal like Fantasy stories?"
"You and I, both of us know that's not going to happen."
"If you know that, then stop beating around the bust and just tell me where's the exist."
Both my tone and expression were serious. There's no way I would jest around in this situation. I wanted to save all of them. I wanted to become strong. I wanted to be someone who Kane could rely on.
"You really loathe me to no core." That kid sighed. "Good grief." He turned his face downward as if to hide his face from me. "I, too, want to protect brother, y'know."
I stared at him without saying any words.
"At this rate, brother and everyone will die because of just how weak I am," he said. He looked at me with eyes which had tears on the verge of coming out. "Please, I beg you. Let me help you save brother..."
This kid before me wasn't lying, nor was he pretending to be like that to deceive me.
"Unchain me... or at least just loose the chain, even just a little." He turned his face downward as if he didn't want me to see his face. "I won't do anything funny. Just let me save brother."
Those words were genuine. They came out from the bottom of his heart. They were his true feelings. These were the same feelings I was feeling at that moment.
It was the feeling of helplessness—the agony of not being able to do anything. I felt like I could just cry at any moment because of my helplessness. But that kid before me? He was holding back his emotions and trying his best to help me save brother.
You're really are strong. Stronger than me... I envy you... You, who is my old self, I envy you so much.
I stepped forth, walking towards the kid before me. "I don't trust you. On top of that, I loathe you."
I saw nothing but helplessness in the eyes of the kid before me.
"But we share the same feeling and goal," I said, kneeling down. "I'll just let the chain loose by accepting you just a slightest bit." I lifted his face with my right hand. "So, tell me—how can I become strong enough to protect him? Our brother."
Demonic Worms kept on raging and coming out of holes which were probably connected to the entrance of next floor. Maarij and Selene were fighting them off head on.
Despite, fighting them head on, there wasn't any bruise or any wound on them. They were really strong. Aariz wasn't facing them head on as he was carrying me on his back.
I opened my eyes, slowly. I slid off Aariz's back the moment I opened my eyes. Aariz turned to me. "You're finally awake, Leo." He heaved a sigh of relief. "Can you use your [Light Attribute] to wipe them out instantly? We can't use ours because of some reasons."
I materialized the sword Aariz gave me in my hand, walking towards the monsters, slowly.
"Hey! I've not taught you how to use it!"
The sword, which I held in my hand, glew with radiant golden light, streaked with white hues. White and golden wings, not so broad or large in size, spread from my back.
Aariz blinked in disbelief. "You... When did you learn that?!"
Of course, he would be shocked because what I did was something I couldn't do without a proper training and instructions.
I glanced back at him with a smile. "I'll handle the rest as always, Aariz. Let's grab a bite after this like old times."