After Old Mo finished telling his story, he took the tea that Sun Fatty handed him and downed it in one gulp. Sun Fatty had been smiling warmly at Old Mo, but the next moment, he suddenly turned to Ximen Lian and said, "Ximen, no offense, but everyone here has shared their story. How about you say something too?"
Hearing this, Ximen Lian looked a bit embarrassed. He glanced at Old Mo and the flushed-faced Xiong Wanyi, then said, "I'd better not say much. Everyone who comes into the Bureau of Paranormal Investigation has a similar background." At this point, Sun Fatty was also feeling the effects of the alcohol; blushing, he waved his hand to stop himself from speaking, then took a deep breath to suppress the rising intoxication.
Seeing Sun Fatty reluctant to speak, I took over and said to Ximen Lian, "There must be some differences though. Boss, I've always been curious — among all the people in the Bureau, you're the only one who can read lips, right? You must have had some professional training before, maybe in State Security or some special operations field?"
After I said this, Ximen Lian's face grew even redder, already quite flushed from drinking. Old Mo, knowing Ximen's background, smiled faintly and poured him a cup of tea, saying, "Boss, don't be shy. We're all here making a living from the same pot. Sun Fatty and Lazi will find out your background sooner or later. Just say it, there's nothing shameful about it."
At that, Ximen Lian hesitated. After half a cup of wine, he finally said, "Well… I used to do makeup for people." His answer was unexpected. Then he added, "To be precise, I used to do makeup for the dead. Before joining the Bureau, I was a makeup artist at the funeral home."
Though his answer differed from what I had guessed, I still didn't understand why he seemed embarrassed. Only after Ximen Lian explained how he joined the Bureau did I realize why he had that awkward expression — his path into the Bureau was indeed a low-profile one.
Ximen Lian's previous job was officially called a funeral makeup artist. A few years ago, this profession was still looked down upon, but at some point it started to become more respected. Back then, Ximen Lian had stood out from many competitors and secured the position.
The event happened in the second year after Ximen Lian became a funeral makeup artist. Around midnight, just as he had fallen asleep, a ringing phone woke him up. Half-asleep, he grabbed the phone and was about to curse, but after hearing who it was, he swallowed the curse back down. The caller was Ximen's direct superior — Director Xia Renxia of the local funeral home.
Director Xia told Ximen on the phone to rush back to the funeral home to work overtime immediately. Ximen's face went green. Though he had not worked long in this line, he knew some funeral home rules — nobody ever worked overtime in the middle of the night. He coughed repeatedly and said he was feeling unwell, asking the director to find other makeup artists.
Unexpectedly, the director got angry. "You think I haven't tried? Ximen, I don't even want your half-baked skills. If those two bastards hadn't turned off their phones, I wouldn't bother calling you, second-rate guy." Apparently, the news of overtime had leaked. The director had called the other two senior makeup artists, but both had turned off their phones, and their landlines kept busy. Director Xia had no choice but to call Ximen.
Ximen was told why the overtime was necessary: the mother of a local business magnate had passed away that afternoon in the hospital. This magnate was famously superstitious; with his mother gone, he believed in everything he shouldn't, hiring a well-known master of funeral rites, Da Zhiying, to hold a grand funeral.
The magnate spared no expense, and the funeral proceeded smoothly — until checking the almanac for burial dates. Except for tomorrow, the following two days were all considered unsuitable for burial. The next several days also brought bad omens. By the time a suitable burial day came, it was already past the seventh day after death.
The magnate, being extremely superstitious, dared not take chances. After consulting with Da Zhiying, they decided on cremation tomorrow morning, followed immediately by burial. Fortunately, preparations like the graveyard were already made, so they wouldn't scramble at the last minute.
That evening, the magnate contacted the funeral home director. Naturally, Director Xia couldn't delay and immediately got to work. After arranging everything, he realized he needed a funeral makeup artist for the deceased. However, after a round of calls, only Ximen Lian was available.
At this point, to keep his job, Ximen reluctantly stepped out of his home. It was nearly midnight. The streets were deserted and cold. Ximen hailed a taxi and, once inside, casually said, "Driver, take me to the funeral home. Drive slowly, I'm not in a hurry."
"Where are you going? Say that again…" Upon hearing the destination, the taxi driver's scalp tingled, and he furtively glanced at Ximen Lian through the rearview mirror. Ximen Lian's naturally pale complexion had a sickly pallor, which made his unusually red lips even more striking.
Thinking the driver hadn't heard clearly, Ximen Lian repeated, "The funeral home… the old crematorium on Babao Road." Hearing the destination a second time, the driver nearly broke down in tears. Trembling, he started the car and wound his way out. During the entire ride, the driver dared not look at Ximen Lian, and when they were about a hundred meters from the funeral home, the taxi suddenly stalled. No matter how the driver turned the key, the engine wouldn't start.
Sitting in the back, Ximen Lian thought about how he should be lying warm in bed by now, but instead, he was out here in the biting wind heading back to the funeral home to do makeup for the dead. The more he thought about it, the worse his expression became—and the worse his face looked, the more the driver struggled to start the car.
Finally, the driver suddenly shouted, "There's a ghost!" Then he flung the door open and darted out. The shout startled Ximen Lian as well. He hurriedly jumped out, boldly looking around, but saw nothing unusual.
By then, the driver had vanished without a trace. Luckily, they were already within the funeral home's grounds, so Ximen Lian didn't dare linger and jogged straight inside. The funeral home was brightly lit; almost every possible light inside and out was turned on.
Ximen Lian ran to his workspace, where on his table lay an elderly woman of about eighty or ninety years old.
Director Xia Renxia had been waiting in the makeup room. Though Ximen Lian wasn't the director's first choice for the makeup artist, in this situation, he was the only one left. Afraid Ximen might slack off, Director Xia gave him some instructions and then personally stood guard in the room, watching closely as Ximen applied makeup to the deceased.
The old lady had died earlier that afternoon and looked peaceful in death; the makeup wasn't very complicated. Ximen Lian actually performed above expectations—after finishing, the old lady looked like she was merely sleeping, lying serenely on the table. There was a small hiccup though: due to her advanced age, the many wrinkles around her mouth made it appear sunken, so Ximen had to stuff specially made fillers into her mouth to make the lips look full.
While placing the filler, Ximen Lian pried open the old lady's mouth. His eyes immediately lit up—it seemed this trip was not in vain. Inside, the dead woman's mouth was full of false teeth installed at different times. Except for the front upper and lower teeth which were clean porcelain, the molars on both sides, upper and lower, were all golden teeth. Even if hollow inside, their weight must have been nearly two taels.
In the past, gold items and gold teeth like these would belong to the makeup artist, while jewelry would usually be retrieved by the cremator. Director Xia tacitly allowed this practice, never interfering. Tonight, however, Xia was standing nearby watching. Ximen didn't know what to make of it, so he glanced awkwardly at the director and cleared his throat.
Xia snorted. Just as Ximen thought the director was warning him not to take anything, Xia suddenly said, "I'm going out for a smoke. Take your time." He pulled out a cigarette pack in an exaggerated manner, then added before leaving, "Make the makeup look good. If there's a slip-up, I'll throw you into the cremator myself."
Ximen Lian pretended not to understand the hint, babbling, "Just watch. I'll make her look beautiful. Except she won't move, she'll look just like a living person." Xia ignored him and left the funeral makeup room.
As soon as Xia left, Ximen pried out more than ten gold teeth from the old lady's mouth. He wasn't shy about it and stuffed the gold teeth straight into his pocket, then continued applying makeup. Maybe because it was his first time working in the funeral home so late at night, he suddenly felt uneasy after pocketing the gold. When he looked back at the deceased, his eyes blurred, and the old lady lying on the makeup table suddenly furrowed her brows.
Ximen's heart pounded wildly. Steeling himself, he looked again. The old lady's brow had smoothed out again, still peacefully lying on the table. "It was just my eyes playing tricks. Her eyebrows never moved," he told himself. Though still scared, he quickened his pace, finishing the deceased's final appearance.
After finishing, Ximen called Director Xia back. Xia carefully examined the body, found no issues, and then invited the prominent family of the deceased to come and pay their respects.
There was the usual torrent of tears from the family. When they finished crying, the magnate personally handed an envelope to Ximen as payment for the makeup work on his mother's body. Ximen had taken gold teeth before, but this was the first time someone alive had given him a tip.
After all the hustle, dawn was breaking. Relatives of the magnate began arriving at the funeral home, and after some time, the farewell ceremony was about to start in the funeral parlor. Due to the ceremony's scale, Director Xia temporarily pulled Ximen out to assist.
The local civil affairs bureau director personally presided over the farewell ceremony. When the director announced the start of the ceremony for Mrs. ×××, the crowd immediately broke down in tears. This scene was something Ximen saw almost every day. He looked on bored, watching the relatives form a circle and say their final goodbyes to Mrs. ×××.
Suddenly, a cold chill surged from the back of Ximen's head, causing him to shiver uncontrollably. It was early autumn, with large temperature differences between morning and night, so he thought nothing of it and prepared to get a jacket. He took a few steps toward the exit but felt someone among the magnate's family staring at him.
Looking into that person's eyes, Ximen's legs weakened and he stumbled, his left foot catching his right. He collapsed to the ground with a thud. Fortunately, a funeral home colleague was nearby and helped him up immediately, so no one in the farewell hall noticed.
His colleague took him aside and said, "Ximen, are you alright? I heard you got here last night and haven't eaten. Maybe you're low on blood sugar?"
Ximen, however, was staring at the crowd in the farewell hall with a terrified expression, not hearing a word.
Just before falling, when Ximen looked back, he had seen an elderly woman of eighty or ninety years old watching him. Noticing his gaze, the old lady exaggeratedly opened her mouth and smiled at him. They weren't far apart, and Ximen clearly saw that besides the front two rows of teeth, the back of her mouth was a black hole; her gums were full of rotten flesh, as if her teeth had just been pulled out.