After an entire year stuck in this body, Technoblade could safely say that subaru's consciousness wasn't forming. He was still in full control, which was… weird. Stuff like this didn't just happen for no reason.
Could Dream have done this?
Why? We were his only friends. Without us, he's gonna get fucked
Yeah, the Syndicate would not be happy that their oink oink disappeared
He has no way to do this either
Right, he only has the revive book
Which doesn't work like that
If he revives a dead person, that person gets another canon live
Revive a living one, and you summon God
Maybe he made a wish with XD?
XD said just one wish, which we got a bell for.
Ah, yes, the bell. What a fun time.
Yeah, when Dream tried again, it summoned an answering machine that said No more wishes.
preeeetty sure XD was busy flirting with George
He was!?
what?
Not sure, but the message from the answering machine... heavily implied so. defo flirting.
Lmao.
Let's be real, it's prolly Wilbur,
probably
yeah, can't not be him.
how?
Wilbur?
why?
Contrary to popular belief, almost every bad thing that happened was cause of Wilbur, So it's probably him who did this
oh... yeah,
Right, he kind is.
daaaamn.
He fits the Magnificent Bastard trope like a glove, doesn't he?
ok, we know the who, now explain the how?
Uh-huh, how does he do this?
Who knows,
we don't
But he is weird,
yeah, really weird
The strange one indeed.
he fucked the sea life
fish you mean
You ignorant swines, it was a salmon.
same thing, asshole.
"he fucked"? That would imply he topped, but it was she. Sally, the female salmon, did the topping
Was that a Jojo reference?
maybe.
fine fine, so *He was fucked by a fish. better?
He also had a fox son with said fish.
How does one do that?
My math ain't mathing, chief, human? + fish = fox?????
Hah, couldn't get his son out correctly.
What a loser,
stupid muffin head
Badboyhalo?
noooo...
Oh my gaaawd,
what, it grew on me, muffins. i mean.
Oh yeah... Fundy was born in the wrong body, wasn't he?
Yeah, he was a girl when he came out of the womb instead of a boy
ho ho ho, you imply that he came out of a womb? how so?
Wait, what!?
Huh?
I am confusion?
Perhaps he did come out of a womb? Or maybe not?
It must be because Wilbur carried, duh.
Sudden mpreg is sudden
Mpreg sudden is Mpreg
Mpreg is Mpreg
That doesn't make sense.
oh but it does, little man.
We have no idea how this works, do we?
Nope, I remember seeing his dick that time we visited Phil and little Wil ran naked with Crow daddy running behind him with a towel
you remember that?
Why do you remember that?
:3
Definitely wasn't born in a wrong body.
Hermaphrodite?
maybe?
futa?????
ew no, stop, get some help,
come on, it means the same thi~ing.
Didn't he also come out of a Refrigerator?
Lol
Lmao
Phil was freaked out
rightfully so.
We are in Japan, so no no, LOL, bad English people. Speak native language. バカだね
冲模
주사위
умереть
That isn't Japanese, that's Korean, that's Chinese, and that's fucking Russian.
Hah, stupid American.
I'm not that dumb to not notice it. :(
It's not every day you open your fridge and there's just a child in there.
I remember Phil immediately throwing that fridge away and buying a new one the moment he had time to do so to avoid getting another child.
Idk, man. I would cheat on Death with a fridge.
Tbh, same.
True dat.
Wow, okay.
Tbh, shame.
Why would you fric a fridge when you can fric Death.
Isn't that necrof-
Shut up shut up shut up.
I know we don't kinkshame here, but I am kinkshaming.
I agree.
I am kinkshaming so hard.
I shame your kinkshaming.
Well, I shame harder.
.
.
.
What were we talking about anyway?
Drugs.
NO!
---
Not only was the current situation weird, it also sucked. As a baby, he barely had any control over his body. It was horrible and humiliating. Everything was too soft, too weak, too fragile. Babies were useless for anything. Don't shake the baby, they say.
But doing nothing was a sign of weakness, and Technoblade was anything but weak.
So the determined - once a blood god - child, set out to train. Train what exactly? Movement. If anyone could compress ten years of effort into a week through sheer stubbornness, it was him.
Day after day, he struggled to move. Wriggling around like a sausage with no wings, trying to force his tiny limbs to obey. His new parents, Naoko and Kenichi, would occasionally step in, but Techno avoided them as much as possible. He didn't need help.
Soon enough, he rolled over. Then crawled. Then pulled himself upright. And judging by his new parents' reactions, it was clear he was ahead of the average.
---
Subaru started walking at eight months, much earlier than most babies. It wasn't a complete surprise to Kenichi, not after seeing how quickly his son had picked up crawling. Subaru was a bright boy, mature in a way that didn't fit his age. It was cute in its own odd way. Kenichi couldn't help but grin every time his son did something new. Subaru was endlessly curious, always exploring the house and staring wide-eyed at everything when they went out for walks.
There were oddities, too. Sometimes Subaru acted like he was having full conversations with someone no one else could see, or just staring into space like something only he could hear was speaking to him. Kenichi assumed it was an imaginary friend or a phase. And then there was the tiptoeing. As soon as the boy could walk properly, he started walking around on his toes like he was practising for something. Kenichi wasn't too worried. With how mature Subaru acted, it probably made sense that he hated being so small.
Kenichi loved his son more than anything. He only wished he had more time to spend with him.
---
"I wanna wear a corset," Subaru said one afternoon, his black hair slightly messy as he looked up at them. "And high heels. And I wanna dye my hair."
Naoko raised an eyebrow, a gentle smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "And why's that, sweetheart?"
Subaru shrugged. "Just because."
Kenichi scratched the back of his neck, a little thrown. "You know… corsets aren't great for you. They lace them really tight, right? Makes it hard to breathe, hurts your ribs, leaves marks if you wear it without anything under it. The actresses on those period dramas always complain about 'em."
Subaru gave him a flat look, unimpressed. "Tight-lacing isn't really a thing. I mean, sure, a few people did it back then, but most didn't. They used bustiers, hoop skirts, and padding to make their shoulders and skirts look bigger, which made their waists look smaller in comparison. Corsets don't stop you from breathing. You just have to breathe differently, which takes a little getting used to."
Kenichi blinked.
"And," Subaru went on, hands gesturing like a tiny professor, "actresses probably complain because they're not used to it and have to wear badly-made ones for hours on set without breaking them in first. Plus, you're not supposed to wear them on bare skin. You need a chemise or some kind of undergarment. It's basic corset etiquette."
Naoko chuckled softly, clearly amused. "He's right, you know. Corsets have been a bit unfairly demonised."
Kenichi rubbed his chin, grinning a little. "If you say so. Well, if that's what you want, kid, I'm not gonna stop you. Might take a while to find one, though."
"They'll have to be custom-made," Naoko and Subaru said together, both fixing him with an expectant look.
Kenichi coughed. "W-what?"
"The corset," Naoko repeated patiently. "If you want it to be safe and comfortable, it needs to be made to fit."
"Most of the ones you'll find online are garbage," Subaru added, unimpressed.
"Oh," Kenichi blinked, then laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, we'll get it custom-made. I think I know someone who goes to one of those specialty shops. Or… I'm pretty sure she does."
"I see," Naoko smiled, brushing Subaru's hair gently. "Then I'll leave it in your hands, darling."
Kenichi gave a little mock salute. "Aye aye. captain"
Subaru had a small smile on his face at the interaction, growing used to the peace of this world.
A/N i was planning to abandon this, through being unmotivated (i really felt like i wasn't good enough to write it) health problems, and other problems, but since it was the 2 year anniversary of techno's death, i plea this chapter as tribute for his memory.
as the one who made me keep going...
i owe him it all.
May pigs forever fly
And shall Technoblade never truly die.