The communication with his crazy mother that night was undoubtedly a failure.
But Qin Guan didn't realize it at the time—he was too young, too eager to declare his intentions, too desperate in his attempt to "keep" her. He urgently tried to use "tenderness" to pull her to his side, to stop her from going out and speaking nonsense, ruining his future prospects.
The young boy didn't notice the faint glimmer of hope that had just appeared on his crazy mother's face dissipating like wisps of smoke.
He also didn't notice her weathered eyes, filled with silent, helpless, hopeless despair, landing on his small face with a strange horror. Then, closing her eyes, she extinguished the last flicker of expectation within them.
Even if he had noticed, Qin Guan wouldn't have understood.
He certainly couldn't comprehend the complex, unspeakable, yet strangely liberating sense of release in her final, heavy sigh.
His crazy mother opened the door and left.
Under circumstances Qin Guan completely failed to understand, she left alone.
On that late autumn night in November, wearing thin, old clothes—not the warm padded coat sent by the village, nor the new shoes bought by the sponsor—she hunched over.
Under the cold moonlight, she slowly, step by step, walked out the main gate—while Qin Guan was still bewildered, she had already reached the courtyard gate. She casually grabbed a thick stick leaning beside it to use as a walking cane. Then, without looking back, she left the yard and headed west.
"Where are you going? What exactly do you want?"
Qin Guan stood anxiously at the courtyard gate, shouting. He didn't dare be loud, much less run forward to pull her back—at his age, he couldn't grasp the meaning behind his crazy mother's action. Was she going to find his drunkard father?
Because he had just said he could deal with him?
Was she going to tell the drunkard father? Had she gone mad again?
Besides, this was outside. If they made a commotion now and attracted neighbors, it would be disastrous.
He knew his crazy mother was no longer mad. She hadn't agreed with him, and in front of outsiders, she might reveal everything!
Qin Guan was frantic, agitated, but helpless—his crazy mother, leaning on the stick, had already walked some distance away.
Where was she really going?
Tormented by anxiety, Qin Guan finally turned back, rushed into the house, hurriedly put on his clothes and shoes, found a flashlight, and then chased after her into the night.
He chased for quite a distance before finally spotting the hunched silhouette of his crazy mother.
She wasn't heading into the village—his drunkard father was drinking and gambling in the village's liveliest spot. She knew the place, but she was walking in a completely different direction.
Not going to find the drunkard father.
Qin Guan's heart settled slightly.
"Hey! Where are you going?" With no one around, Qin Guan felt braver. He shouted loudly, impatiently. "It's the middle of the night! What's wrong with you!"
His crazy mother paused for a moment, then continued walking forward without turning back or answering.
"Come back with me now!"
Qin Guan quickened his pace, caught up to her, and grabbed her arm, tucking it under his armpit as he used to. "Home!"
He had to get her home. Because the villagers would come to see her. Because the sponsor had said he would visit in a few days—he needed them to see he was taking good care of this madwoman.
He, Qin Guan, was a good child—excellent in character and studies, full of filial piety, worthy of sponsorship.
"What are you running away for?" Qin Guan snapped, annoyed. "Crazy! Is it because of what I said? I said I'd deal with him for you! I thought you hated him! Since you like him, I won't do it!"
"You think I'm angry?"
His crazy mother fiercely shook off Qin Guan's hand—he didn't know where she got the strength.
She stood still, her gaze like daggers, stabbing straight at Qin Guan. "You think I'm angry for him? You think I like that father of yours, and I'm angry because you said you'd deal with him?"
She suddenly laughed.
It was a laugh of despair, a laugh that said nothing in this world mattered anymore.
But this laugh made Qin Guan's scalp tingle even more—he still didn't understand.
"Then why are you running?" he frowned. "I told you! I can help you think of a way to drive him away! If that doesn't work, I can make him disappear from this world forever! As long as you're good to me, I'll be good to you! I mean it!"
He even raised his hand to swear, solemnly, like the characters he'd seen spying on TV at the village head's house. "I, Qin Guan, swear! Once the sponsor puts me through university and I have a good life, I will definitely take good care of you!"
"You... you really are... terrifyingly... terrifying!" His crazy mother looked at him, squeezing the words out despairingly through clenched teeth.
The next second, she took a deep breath, turned back as if making a decision, and resolutely continued walking forward.
She wasn't moved by the oath. She kept walking.
The direction she was heading was towards the school.
It was a communication that had utterly failed.
Yes, that very night, Qin Guan learned that the communication had failed. From start to finish, he hadn't persuaded his crazy mother at all.
Because he was young. He simply didn't understand her psychology.
But this time was different—this time he was facing his father-in-law, a man he knew intimately and had controlled effortlessly for years.
"I swear, it wasn't me! I wasn't involved! That day, I happened to be near Jiayuan Community, thinking of visiting Ruyi and Little Pear. I didn't expect to run into Mom at the community gate. When she saw me, her face turned bad. She glared at me. I didn't know why she was angry. I didn't dare ask, just followed her inside,"
Qin Guan repeated the lie—a lie he knew by heart. The picture he painted in his mind had completely erased the original truth. "We even met a neighbor. Mom didn't even acknowledge the neighbor when they greeted her! I had no idea why she was like that! After going inside, she suddenly got even angrier. The more I asked, the angrier she got. Then suddenly she couldn't breathe! I immediately called emergency services, then called you guys... I was panicked out of my mind! When I poured water, I even scalded my own hand..."
"I've regretted it countless times! I should have taken her to the hospital the moment I saw her looking unwell! Why didn't I know? Why was I so oblivious... Mom's passing hurt me just as much as it hurt you... In my heart, she was already my birth mother..."
Qin Guan knelt before his father-in-law's wheelchair, now weeping openly.
His father-in-law's expression had softened considerably more.
Qin Guan continued crying. "The affair is my fault. I admit it. I'm a man. I'll bear it alone. I'll leave Ruyi and Little Pear..."
This was burning his boats, retreating to advance.
Knowing his father-in-law as he did—how deeply he loved his daughter and granddaughter—he would never let his daughter become a divorced woman or Little Pear grow up in a single-parent home over something like an affair.
Older people, especially soft-hearted ones, always advocated reconciliation over separation.
Qin Guan had handled too many cases. He'd seen countless examples where the parties involved fought and cursed, but in the end, the ones who absolutely refused to agree to divorce were often the elders.
He knew his father-in-law would urge reconciliation—he had said countless times that family was the most important thing in life.
An affair was just that—not a big deal. His father-in-law was experienced, a man. He would view this problem more rationally than his mother-in-law had—his usual devotion to his wife and daughter could offset this transgression.
But Qin Guan didn't expect his father-in-law to speak decisively: "Good. You leave. Divorce. Leave with nothing."