The school I attend is divided into two groups, each with a head leader to lead them.
How those leaders were picked was the two people who first signed up for the school, since it's a new one in this area.
The best way to explain it is: from their point of view, we're the "weird kids" and they're "normal."
Which isn't true. We just dress differently. We wear darker colors. We mind our business.
They wear bright, short dresses, gossip loudly, and don't even respect each other. I guess that's why we're different and why the principal split us into two sides.
Sofis is the name of the "normal" group. I'm unfortunately the leader of the other side — not because I wanted to be, but because I signed up early. Everyone has to be in one group or the other.
It's stupid. But Sofia and I already hated each other, so whatever.
Today's a new kid selection — but it's different this time, because the kid already knows me.
--
"Juniper! I didn't know you went to school here!" Kealoka beams, grabbing both my hands.
I pull them away quickly.
"Keasoka, is it?" Sofia says, cutting in. He doesn't even look at her.
"Hello? I know you can hear me."
"Kea, she's talking to you. Stop staring at me."
He blinks, "She didn't say my name right."
Sofia steps in front of him again, clearly annoyed. "We're here to pick the side you're gonna be on," she says.
"I think you should join mine. It's more lively, not boring — and you'd get to hang out with me, which isn't easy to do." She smirks. "So, what do you say?"
"I'm gonna go with Juniper."
I glance up. Of course, he's smiling like a puppy again.
He always smiles like that — big and honest. But nobody's that happy all the time. I don't trust it, but I do.
Sofia scoffs, rolls her eyes, and walks off without another word. One of her friends "accidentally" bumps into one of mine on the way out. No apology. Just a smug look.
That's normal here.
The crowd thins out as everyone heads to class, and I help Kealoka find the office and get his schedule.
--
After school, I go straight to work. I'm there until 11:00 p.m., then I walk home through the dark. The air's cold. Everything's quiet.
I open the door to what used to be a house filled with my siblings' laughter.
Now it's just dark. Cold. Silent.
I take off my sweater and toss it on the couch. I go to turn on the kitchen light, but stop halfway.
I head upstairs to the room with three beds — all empty. All cold.
I take Luna and Luner's blankets from their beds and bring them to mine. I lie down and wrap myself in them like armor — like they could hold me together.
They still smell like them — like vanilla shampoo and candy. It makes it worse.
I tell myself they're safer now. That they're better off. But that doesn't make the silence any quieter.
As I stare into the dark, I hear it — faint, but still there.
Luner's laugh.
Luna's dumb, made-up jokes.
My heart aches. My chest feels heavy. My eyes blur.
I just sent them away... without a second thought.
And now I can't stop thinking about it.
--
I wake up at 5 a.m. with maybe an hour of sleep. My head feels like it's caving in.
I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and stare at my face in the mirror. Black bags under my eyes. My chest still tight. The thoughts I can never push away still there.
But I'll be fine.
I won't do it.
...Maybe.
But the lines are so visible, though.
I pull on a long-sleeved shirt and black hoodie, with baggy jeans. School doesn't start until 7, and it's only 5:45. So I sit in the cold, dark, and wait.
--
At 6:55, I walk outside. The sky is still a little dark — a mix of yellow, blue, and black. The moon is faint in the sky. It's peaceful.
I like it like this.
I get to school around 7:10 and head into my first class. No one else is here yet. I sit in my usual seat. I stare at the wall. Then out the window. Then down at the floor.
Ten minutes pass. The silence breaks as students start filling the room.
"Juniper!!" A voice rings out, way too bright for this early.
"Kealoka," I say flatly. "Good morning to you, too."
He sits at the desk beside me, grabs my face with his hands, and stares at me like he's inspecting something.
"Are you okay today? You look tired. And sad."
"No, I'm fine. Is there something on my face?"
He looks again, then let's go.
"At lunch, come find me, okay?"
"Okay."
--
Lunch.
Kealoka texts: "Gym storage room."
I walk over. The gym's empty. I peek into the storage room. He's sitting on top of some stacked gym mats, smiling when he sees me.
I sit next to him. His eyes don't leave mine.
"You didn't sleep much last night. I can tell. So don't deny it."
"Do I look that tired?"
Shit. I was falling asleep in class. I forgot to cover my circles.
I start to say something, but then—
He gently lays my head down on his lap, and drapes a soft blanket over me from his backpack.
"Told you not to try and deny it," he whispers.
"Now take a nap, sleepyhead."