Man, making decisions is hard.
It's already hard enough when you are only making decisions for yourself. But when you are making decisions that will directly impact the lives of others, it's even harder.
:::
I'm lying on the bed I share with Yaci. She's as naked as yesterday, but that's far from bothering me right now.
I have to decide what to do.
If I heed the Loa's words, I'll gain some extra power, which is always welcome. But the biggest prize there is the tribe's help.
With it, not only the beastkin will have a place to go after being freed, but also myself and my mother.
The downside: three more years of suffering for them.
The other option is to go right now, even tomorrow at dawn if I decide to go that route.
That would shorten their captivity time by three years. But there won't be anyone waiting for us outside, sheltering us.
Some of the women there were slaves all their lives. They don't know the first thing about surviving the wilderness.
"Ughhnnn."
I sigh and moan, as if that would make things easier for me.
"Are you awake, Aurea?"
Yaci is lying at my side, and she moves, embracing me.
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"
"No, no. I was also awake and afraid of waking you up."
"The way ahead is too muddy, huh?"
"Yeah..."
We stay in silence, each of us in our own thoughts, until I break the silence again.
"What do you think about all that?"
"Honestly, I want to go there as soon as dawn breaks and set them free, even if I'm just myself."
"Heh... honestly, I want that too."
Another awkward silence.
Yaci pulls me closer to her, tightening her embrace.
Somehow, her presence feels familiar already. As if we've known each other for ages. It's really comforting.
"I wonder what is the power the Loa said that I would find in the west."
"There is an old tale, but I don't know if it's related."
Even though I can't see in the dark, I turn to look in her direction.
"Please, tell me."
"I don't know much... But it's said that the goddess once had a companion."
"A companion? Like a party?"
"I think so... Though some say that they were lovers."
"And what happened to that person?"
"For some reason their relationship soured, and they fought each other. Being incapable of killing her former companion, the goddess sealed them in a secluded place."
"And that place is in the Dragon Mountains?"
"That's what the bard from the wolf tribe sang last time we met."
Could that be what the Loa was talking about? Am I supposed to rescue that person? But how would that be a power for me?
"I fail to see how that would help."
"Yes, that's why I said that I don't know if it's related. But it's the only thing that I know about that place."
"The way the Loa said it, it looks like what I'll find there will be important."
"Yes."
"And they looked trusting that even with those years, we would still be able to find our mothers alive."
There was another lengthy silence.
"I don't want my mother to suffer more than she already has."
I'm the one breaking the silence again.
"That's the thing, right?"
"Yeah..."
"But without the tribe, even with our skills, living in the Barrens will be harsh."
"We would have to found a new tribe."
"Without the guidance of the Loa..."
"There wouldn't be only the four of us. I plan to free the other slaves as well."
"That makes it actually harder, you know."
"Huh?"
"More mouths to feed and hydrate in this wasteland."
That's true... the tribe provides a safety net.
There are people who specialize in fighting, so they focus on patrolling and hunting, while the rest of the tribe can do other things.
And the Loa are the ones who designate the rotations of the tribes through the oasis in the Barrens.
They make sure that the rotation is fair to all and, at the same time, that the delicate ecosystems of the oasis don't get overwhelmed to the point of breaking apart.
Even if I can create water for everyone every day using my magic, it isn't a sustainable model.
If we don't get to an oasis, it would mean that I can't leave the tribe for one day without a risk to their lives. And if anything happens to me, everyone would be cooked.
And if we go to the oasis, even when there aren't any other tribes there, we would risk creating a conflict with them. Because we would be breaking the balance.
"We can't do anything without the tribe." I say. "If we try to go by ourselves, we would be just taking them out of the pan into the fire."
Yaci doesn't answer me.
I reach my hand to her head with the intent to caress her a bit. But, as I can't see anything, I end up touching her face first. It's wet.
She has been crying silently.
I feel like crying as well, but tears are just not coming.
There are truly things in the world against which you are powerless, no matter how powerful you are.
And there will always be moments like this.
Do gods also feel powerless sometimes? I wouldn't be surprised if they do.
"You're right," Yaci finally says. "It's not fair to leave them three more years in that place. But it's even less fair to submit them to a whole life of struggling in the Wilds without allies."
I'm sorry, Mom, you'll have to wait a bit longer.
"We'll make sure to pamper them a lot when we finally rescue them." I say, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
"Yeah."
She is sobbing, heartbroken. On the other hand, I feel... relieved?
Why do I feel like this? What am I expecting from this turn of events?
Ah...
Of course.
There's the side of me that is thrilled with the promise of an adventure with a power-up at the end.
I have no idea what I'll get from that. It somehow feels like a gacha game, if I'm honest with myself.
Aurea, you gambling addict.