"But I did like your way of thinking... It's just… If I`m alive, then for what reason do the spirits not approach me? They have been dancing with you, touching you and guiding you, like they do with everyone else… Yet…"
I notice that the spirits are dancing everywhere, except on his surroundings.
"Of course… I'm not good enough to be approached by them. My world's pollution must've followed me, corrupted my soul… I've done too much while trying to survive… And only once I died did I notice that just surviving wasn't an excuse to all that I did… I don't belong in here…"
"…"
"Even so, I must admit I'm happy for at least being able to look at them in this way…"
Glancing at me with his head resting back on his knees, he gives me a weak smile and continues to watch them with a lonely gaze.
He went through too much in order to survive. So much that his soul turned black and he turned into death itself.
Not a spirit of the forest, but rather a ghost that haunts it. Stalking the spirits of life, because they have everything he had always wanted…
"That's just bullshit!"
After having so much time to think, how could someone reach such a depressing conclusion!?
My sudden outburst got him startled, with his eyes wide open and a funny face.
"I'll show you!"
I extend my hand to the spirits and soon they are all over me as I join them in their dance.
"Wha-what are you doing…?"
Observing them from afar is one thing, but when you join them and start moving as one… It feels as if you've finally found the place where you belong after being lost for your whole life.
I don't know for how long I stay like that, but I only lay down after they show me my way back to Sherwood's side.
I use his lap as a pillow, only now noticing how tired I got.
At first, it was supposed to be simply a symbolic gesture to grab his attention. I was half-expecting to just pass through since he is somewhat of a ghost and all… But my head ends up supported by something. It isn`t hard, it isn`t soft. Neither hot nor cold. I don`t think I have a better description to touching air.
I thought of provoking him in order to make him speak, but that turned out to be unnecessary.
When I look at his face, all I see is a little child on the verge of tears… It even makes me wonder if what I did was too much.
He looks at me for a while, while trying to recompose himself. It doesn't work completely, but he finally goes back to speaking, in a weak voice.
"*sniff* I-is this the difference between us? You wanted to show me how a person loved by the spirits can easily interact with them---?" His voice starts to break again before finishing what he had to say. And he struggles to hold back his tears from flowing again.
"Hah... Is this what you thought after all of that? You may have called me a kid before, but you lived a solitary life in here so far, huh? No one you know, no family… If you have no form of relationships with others, then there`s no way you`d ever grow up. You`ve just been standing still in time while you were here, without maturing. In this way, the one who looks like a kid in here is you."
I get up and place his head in my chest, giving him a hug.
He is a little reluctant at first and tries to push me away without using strength. But after some time, unable to endure any longer, he starts crying, bawling, hitting me, cursing his fate, his past and his present.
"It's okay, let it out."
It's only after a while that his sobbing begins to pause for larger intervals.
"Have you calmed down now?"
I gently look into his eyes. He nods slightly. His eyes are slightly reddened and there is still a little snot coming out of his nose… But it is all only in his appearance. My shirt isn`t wet in the least. It is as if his appearance reflected his mentality, but since he is ghostlike, there`s no actual substance.
"Feeling better?"
He simply turns his eyes away and pouts.
"Stop being so condescending you kid. Why don't you go back to holding onto your mother's skirt?"
"Haha, I'll take that as a yes."
We return to being silent as we separate. Finally, he fixes his sight back on the spirits and so do I.
"You know… You've been living alone in here for a good while, right?"
He asks with his eyes what I intend to say with that.
"Repressing your feelings inside of you…"
He continues to listen to me, calmly.
"That is not how people are supposed to live. This pressure, it's not good to hold it inside yourself. You begin to lose awareness to what surrounds you… It's the same for everyone else too."
"…"
"You've been here for so long already, and yet you failed to notice…"
"What do you mean?"
I hold his hand.
"All of this time, while you've been sitting here, observing the spirits from afar, you've thought of how much they did not want to approach you."
"That much is… Obvious…"
"And at the same time, they have always observed you as well, as you turned away, and avoided them."
"Huh? That's not…"
"They didn`t want to inconvenience you. Of course they won't approach you if you`re like that. They wanted to give you space to yourself."
Sherwood makes a confused face. And I remember something Akane told me recently.
"It's obvious you have to take the initiative. You have to change yourself to who you want to be, instead of waiting for your surroundings to change for you."
I raise his hand to the spirits and Sherwood is caught by surprise, with no idea of how to react.
With that simple act, the spirits begin to approach us in a large number. It doesn't take long for us to join them in their dance.
"See? They were just waiting for you."
"I--- Uh---"
At first, he is baffled. But soon his laughter begin to echo in this small meadow.
Inadvertently, I begin to sing. A song of a wonderful world, through which the rhythm of our hearts connect our different lives. You can't go wrong with konosuba---
I accidently step on his feet, causing him to lose his balance and fall.
Oops…
"Hmmm… Sorry, I'm not really good at dancing… My sister used to take the lead…"
I thought he would be mad, but he suddenly starts laughing even harder.
He only pauses in order to say:
"Pft! That's right, it's alright! This is what living is all about!"
And then he returns to laughing… Well, that's a much better face than the one he had before.
We spend some time having fun with the spirits.