Xiao Hong surveyed the aftermath of her latest attempt to wrestle the ingredients into something resembling the Body Refining Liquid. The wooden bowl before her certainly did not contain the promised sulphurous yellow, oily Body Refining Liquid.
With the cautious reverence one would usually reserve for disarming bombs, she carefully prodded the… black substance that lay in a wooden bowl.
It wiggled.
Liquids weren't supposed to wiggle. Her eyelid twitched. Also, the Body Refining Liquid was supposed to be sulphurous yellow and oily.
"This isn't feasible," she frowned, eyeing what could only be called a battlefield. Dozens of crumpled packets, empty vials, and dismembered roots and herbs lay around like defeated soldiers. Her lips pressed together, "Half the materials gone, and I have nothing to show for it…
"Dammit!" She exploded, chucking the blameless stick across the room. It hit the wall and then clattered uselessly to the floor - not very different from how she felt right now.
"How the hell am I supposed to learn Alchemy if I can't even understand what I'm doing wrong?!" She'd followed the recipe down to the smallest detail. Yet, success remained as elusive as a polite Young Master.
"Should I just use the Enlightenment Palace?" The thought slithered into Xiao Hong's mind, coiling around her resolve like a slimy snake.
"No," she hissed, quickly throwing the idea out of her mind. "I only have so much Enlightenment Energy. I can't use it so recklessly."
That meagre stockpile of Enlightenment Energy - her 'Cosmic Free Trial Pack' - was pitifully small as it was. Barely enough to map the path from Early to Late Second Stage: Earth Origin; which was what she wanted to use it for. She wanted to use money to generate even more money.
She collapsed into a chair.
Her gaze drifted, snagging first on the 'Compendium of Spirit Herbs Vol 1'. The tome lay atop the pile she'd come to call 'Mt. Pointlessly Heavy Alchemy Books'.
'3000 Methods of Flame Control', 'Caring for your Cauldron', 'A Comprehensive Study of Interaction between Spirit Herbs and Flames', 'Refining: Zero to Hero'...
Words seemed to jump out, morphing into tiny, armoured soldiers marching in formation directly towards her with the sole mission of giving her the headache of a lifetime.
Her grey matter whimpered, threatening to pack its bags and flee!
Oh, it wasn't that she didn't want to learn - it was just that it was impossible to memorise all of the stuff in the short time frame she was working with.
She needed a badge, not a Heaven-damned brain aneurysm.
Of course, these things weren't exactly useless; on the contrary, they were extremely important. However, what Xiao Hong required now was the status of an Alchemist and practical knowledge about Alchemy - mere theory was not going to help her.
After more than a day of poring over tomes so heavy it required a Cultivation Base to hold, she still didn't feel like she was making any progress. She'd thought that it was simply her illusion. Upon actually calculating the progress she's made… It didn't even amount to a whole per cent. The sheer quantity of material available for the subject of Alchemy was overwhelming. By her estimates, it would take her half a year to simply read through all the material!
"At this rate, running over to Mo Tong and telling him I'm a man inside will be more helpful." She bit her thumbnail in frustration.
"No, I have to talk to Ruoxi." She jumped to her feet, her mind made up. She simply saw no point in continuing her study.
***
"Surely, I can't be so bad at makeup, right? I'm a girl, for Heaven's sake!" A dumbfounded Xiao Hong stared at the lipstick in her hand. She faced the mirror and cringed. Staring back was not the delicate beauty she expected but an… indescribable entity straight out of Lovecraftian horrors.
Xiao Hong: "..."
Hmm… A part of her brain analysed seriously, maybe lip gloss wasn't meant for the forehead?
The old Xiao Hong bought cosmetics but never used a single one. Simply because it was of no use to her. When she tried to apply makeup, it only diminished her natural charm. So, they'd sat in her pouch like expensive paperweights.
The only reason she even knew about makeup was to keep up in conversation with other female disciples.
Her mouth twitched. "No wonder these things don't seem to be used."
She'd thought that since she was going to meet Chen Ruoxi's brother, she should touch up a little, right? You know the first impression is the last… Oh, alright, she wanted to use her newfound looks to seduce, uh… manipulate, erm…
Well, no matter how she put it, it didn't sound right.
Her thoughts were like so: since I'm blessed with beauty, I might as well use it, right? She wasn't foolish enough to think that looks didn't matter. Entire cities fell due to someone idiot obsessed with beauty. So, if it gave her an edge, then she would exploit it ruthlessly.
But man proposes, Heaven disposes. All that effort was for naught.
After a moment of thought, she casually tossed aside the lipstick and nodded firmly, "In fact, naturalism is best! Who knows what they put in these things?
"Besides, a person as righteous as me would never resort to seducing a friend's brother!" A gleaming halo of pure righteousness glowed above her head, like she was the purest Saintess who had nary an evil thought - in her imagination, anyway.
And thus, with Alchemy ditched and makeup abandoned, Xiao Hong marched off to find Chen Ruoxi, ready to charm with wit, confidence… and absolutely zero lip gloss.
***
"Huh. I thought you'd at least dress up a bit more," Chen Ruoxi gave Xiao Hong a slightly surprised look over. "You know, to seduce my brother or something?"
Xiao Hong's mouth twitched. Don't you know me too well?
But she exclaimed in offended outrage, "Ruoxi, how could you say that?! I would never!" She put on the most hurt expression she could muster, as though she had never even entertained such thoughts, and she was greatly wrong, "Do you really have such a low opinion of me?"
Chen Ruoxi tilted her head and deadpanned, "Yes."
Xiao Hong: "..."
She gaped at the freckled girl speechlessly. Dammit, at least hesitate a bit! Are you sure you're my friend?
Chen Ruoxi giggled, amused by her stifled expression Xiao Hong wore. She opened the door wide and waved her in, "Alright, I'm just kidding. Come on in."
Following behind her, Xiao Hong's eyes darted around, taking in everything with immense curiosity. It, after all, was the first time in both lives that she had entered a girl's room. Old Xiao Hong's house didn't count - that was her house.
It was simple and cozy, with walls painted light brown, accented by deep, earthy brown curtains fluttering gently by the open window. The leather sofa, also a deep brown, nearly blended into the curtains.
'... She really likes brown, doesn't she?'
Gesturing her towards a sofa in the relatively small living room, Chen Ruoxi poured a glass of some drink for each before taking a seat opposite her, "It isn't much compared to your courtyard, but make yourself at home."
Xiao Hong rolled her eyes as she took a small sip from the glass. Despite having said that she didn't want it, she kept bringing it up, either way.
"We can exchange if you want," she offered half seriously, "Where I stay is the least of my worries right now."
The other party just waved her hand casually and picked up her glass, "Eh. Too costly."
"It's just a dozen Spirit Stones a month, though?" Xiao Hong tilted her head in slight confusion.
Chen Ruoxi nearly choked on the first sip of her drink. She sputtered, "W-what the hell do you mean, 'just a dozen Spirit Stones a month'? It's a dozen Spirit Stones! Not pebbles! Do you even know the worth of Spirit Stones?!
"I'd need to complete at least a couple of dangerous missions to save up for a month's rent!"
"Er…" Startled by her outburst, Xiao Hong felt a little awkward. It seemed those glowing pebbles were worth more than she'd anticipated.
Chen Ruoxi narrowed her eyes, "Tell me, A'Hong, how many Spirit Stones do you have saved up?"
"Erm… A-around a thousand Spirit Stones?" She answered hesitantly. In fact, she had quite a bit more, but Xiao Hong was afraid that her friend's brain might short-circuit.
But it seemed she was not conservative enough.
"A-a-a thousand?!" Chen Ruoxi's brain crashed. All that effort, toiling away day and night, travelling miles in janky carriages, enduring insect bites, staying in unfamiliar inns, braving the wilds in search for Demon Beasts… and her savings didn't even amount to a fifth of someone who did nothing but stay at home and bat her eyelashes at some overpowered lunk.
The sheer, cosmic injustice of it crashed over Chen Ruoxi. Suddenly, her brother's words came to her mind, and she found a deep wisdom in them: "Sometimes, the difference between people is greater than the difference between people and dogs."
Slowly, deliberately, Chen Ruoxi placed her glass down. She slid off the brown-cushioned chair. Then, she looked up at her friend and resolutely cupped her fists. Eyes blazing with determination, she took a deep breath and shouted, "Please teach me, Master!"
Xiao Hong: "???"
She was utterly confused, and she dignified her with the most apt response: "Huh?"
"Teach me the ways." The brown-haired girl spread her hands, "You know, how to earn money sitting at home and making kissy faces at some dumbass?"
A vein popped on Xiao Hong's forehead. She gritted her teeth and squashed the urge to punch something. The worst part was that she could not even refute it! The old Xiao Hong may not have made kissy faces, but explaining that would only make it worse for her.
So, she changed the subject forcibly, "Has Senior Brother Chen arrived already?"
"Oh my! Looking for your next target already, A'Hong~?" Ruoxi covered her mouth scandalously, yet the mirth that filled her eyes was way too obvious to fool anyone, "Tsk, tsk, poor Lin Fan, it hasn't even been a whole week. Ah, how cruel~!"
Another vein appeared. Followed by another. And another. A symphony of popping vessels played beneath her skin. A sudden urge arose within her - an urge to strangle something. Something with curly brown hair and a smattering of freckles.
She smiled brilliantly. "Ruoxi?" she cooed.
"Yea?" Chen Ruoxi replied instinctively.
"Have you heard of the phrase, 'Courting Death'?"
"Uh, yes?" She nodded subconsciously. Suddenly, she felt that the atmosphere wasn't quite right, but before she could put her finger on what it was exactly, her friend got to her feet.
Xiao Hong's smile brightened even more as she stepped in front of Chen Ruoxi, cracking her knuckles. She purred, "That is exactly what you're doing, my dear~."
"HEEEEK~!" A terrified scream, followed by demented giggles and pleas of mercy, shook the apartment complex.