— He's such an idiot. — I said, completely drunk. Honestly, I couldn't think straight; my mind was light and dizzy. Desnki was in front of me at the bar, listening to my complaints longer than he'd probably like to remember. He kept smiling, maybe even enjoying seeing me in such a pitiful state. I didn't know how much I had drunk, but that didn't seem important at that moment.
— Does it bother you that much that he's staying at that woman's house? — Jean drank calmly, seeming to know how not to end up in the same critical state I was in. Sensible person.
— Of course, we have something special. I love Eric so much... He never said he loves me, you know? — I said it like it was the gravest thing in the world. And in my world, it was.
— Oh, so you two have that kind of relationship. — Actually, Desnki didn't seem surprised; he seemed more intrigued by this new discovery.
— Yes, Eric saved me, I had a... — I ended up telling him my whole story, about William, the years I spent in his house, how much I was in love with Eric. I spent hours recounting the story of my life, hours drinking away an entire lifetime. I told him about my nightmares after Gran Fort's death, how I still felt guilty about it. Basically, I became an open book to the man in front of me.
— I see, that really is complicated. Don't beat yourself up over it. Eric likes you, but he can't leave Mrs. Greenfield alone. — He stroked my hair, and I let out a low, spoiled moan at the affection.
— Ah, Desnki, I know... but I feel so jealous about their past. — I pouted, and he touched the tip of my lips, laughing when I bit his finger, sulking. He was teasing me—I accepted that because of how vulnerable I was. My cheeks felt like they were on fire.
— Call me Jean, we're friends enough for that. — He said, sipping his drink. — You really are beautiful; I understand why men fall at your feet.
— But you're different; I don't feel like you look at me with desire, just curiosity. — I said, still dazed from the alcohol. Desnki let out a playful laugh.
— You're really interesting. I like you, Nathan, I want to help you. But not right now—you're in no condition. — He held me, pulling me towards him, probably to take me home. I ended up leaning on him; I couldn't stand on my own.
— Let's stay a little longer... — I moaned softly. — I don't want to sleep! I don't want to dream about him. — I ended up sounding very whiny. Even so, he led me away, against my drunken will.
— Calm down, everything will be fine. — I didn't know why, but his words calmed me a lot, and I let myself be taken. I told him things I never told Eric, poured all my insecurities out to Jean. Even though I shouldn't have, I felt relieved.
The rest of the night felt like a blur. Letting out my fears and anxieties made me not dream that night. When I opened my eyes, I felt sheets wrapped around my body, my chest bare. I looked around and saw Jean sitting in an armchair. The place was probably his room—I didn't recognize it. I immediately sat up, startled.
— Wh... What did I do? — That caught his attention; he looked up from the papers and images he was studying.
— Besides throwing up on both my clothes and yours? Nothing. — He smiled playfully. — I had to undress you because of that. Your clothes are filthy. They're drying now.
— I see. — I looked under the sheets and realized I was completely naked. I sighed deeply, blushing. I laid back down, wrapping myself up again, relaxing on the soft bed. It was the best night's sleep I'd had in a long time.
— Don't worry, I didn't take advantage of you. — Jean noticed what was bothering me. I shook my head, calmer, still blushing over everything I remembered saying... and what I didn't remember doing.
— I told you my whole life story, didn't I? — I asked, covering my face with my hands, unable to believe it. I wished it had just been a dream.
— Oh yes, with some pretty sordid details about your relationship with Lord Gran Fort. — Jean was sadistic, he was torturing me! — And about your relationship with Eric too... I didn't know he liked handcuffs and...
— Stop! — I didn't think I could get any redder, but my face was burning with embarrassment. — Just forget all that, please.
— Don't worry, Nathan, consider me a friend. Like I said, I want to help you. First, with your nightmares—they might be due to the trauma you suffered when you caused Gran Fort's death. — Jean's voice was more serious now. I composed myself and sat up, sighing. No point lamenting.
— Can we talk about that later? Can you lend me some clothes? — I asked as I got up, not even caring that I was naked. He had already seen more than I'd like to admit.
— Of course. — He stood up, grabbing some clothes that were definitely too big for me, and handed them over. I quickly got dressed and noticed it was already past lunchtime. I had so much work to do. I took a deep breath. As we were leaving, we ran into Watson coming in. When he saw us, his expression didn't change at all.
— It's not what your mind is imagining. — Jean quickly said, as if he could understand the boy's piercing gaze.
— Fine. — He simply said, casting a look at me that I couldn't quite interpret. Then he ignored me and went inside Desnki's house.
— I'll talk to him. The carriage will take you. — Jean said, with a somewhat awkward smile and a hint of urgency in his voice. I just nodded—the situation was strange. They seemed to understand each other; only Jean could probably decipher the younger one's unreadable expression.
When I got home, all I could think about was taking a bath and heading to the department to file a report. I didn't expect to find Eric in my room, looking very impatient as I walked in.
— Where were you?! — He said, standing up and walking over to me, gripping my shoulder tightly. His eyes were intense and bright.
— I went drinking. — I wasn't sure if I wanted to give details about how things unfolded.
— Whose clothes are those? — Eric stepped back, incredulous, looking like he wanted a good explanation before he lost it.
— Jean invited me out for drinks last night. Since my lover had just slapped me, I didn't see any problem with it. I drank too much, threw up on my clothes. He couldn't bring me home, so I slept at his place and wore his clothes because mine were unusable. — I said, walking past him, starting to undress for a long, relaxing shower.
—... With Desnki? — He seemed to be absorbing my words carefully. — You two...
— Of course not. Desnki is one of the few men I've met who doesn't seem to desire me. — I said wearily, feeling safe around him because of that.
— Even so, you being that vulnerable with someone other than me... it's... — Eric was trying to justify his jealousy.
— Enough. You sleep at your ex's house and want to talk about me? — I was starting to get irritated with Eric; our relationship was unfair.
— She's being targeted by her husband's possible murderer. — He said through gritted teeth, as if that justified everything.
— If it really is someone else, right? — I still believed Katherine had something to do with her husband's death. Maybe it was just suspicion, but I was going to collect more testimonies. If it was her, I wanted to know where the body was... And was he really dead?
— Still with that idea? You saw how fragile she was. Be more understanding, Nathan. — Felix sighed, tired.
— I'm jealous of you, I can't help it. She tried to kiss you, and you hit me over a theory. Do you think I should just put up with that? I feel insecure... — Why won't you tell me how you feel about me, damn it? I took a deep breath and suddenly felt him holding my hands. I hadn't even noticed he got so close.
— I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry. — I didn't want to forgive him, not now, but he weakened me completely. — Trust me about Katherine. I won't betray you.
— Fine. — He leaned in, intending to kiss me, but I pulled away. Even if I believed him, I was still upset. — Not now. — I showered alone, hearing Eric's footsteps as he walked away, probably heading to the office to go through the murder files. I sighed. The situation was making me sad. Having a serious relationship was hard. I loved Felix more than I ever thought I could love someone, but... I never thought I could feel so insecure.
Gran Fort's devotion scared me—it was obsessive—but at least I was sure he loved me. Only I can love you. I didn't want to believe that, but even dead, his shadow haunted me.
All dressed up, I was about to head to the department to deal with some pending matters before nightfall. First, I went to the office and knocked. This time, I got a positive response to enter.
— I need to go out. Are you going to sleep at Katherine Greenfield's house again?! — He nodded, sitting down in front of the papers, looking at me, unsure if I'd get angry, but apparently relaxed when he saw my understanding look. I told him about the butler's statement and how I found it strange that Katherine was distancing herself from her husband's family.
— I'll talk to her about that tonight. — He said calmly. I didn't tell him about the harassment I'd suffered—he didn't need to know that. I left Eric to work; I wouldn't interrupt his analysis. In fact, what I was going to do was related to the murder case.
I got permission to go to the city morgue. It was far enough away that I arrived around nightfall. A tall, thin, pale man—looking like a corpse himself—guided me to the room reeking of formaldehyde. The body of the most recent victim was there. I felt nauseous; I didn't handle death well, and seeing her state only made it worse.
She was beautiful—brown hair, very pale skin. So young. I analyzed the body for several minutes; it was exactly like the other murders from ten years ago—the cut in the abdomen done the same way, the mark left on the right breast... nothing different. So, it was the same killer? I felt frustrated for having been wrong. So why did he start killing again after so long?
I left with more questions than answers. But before I could go home to rest, I heard a woman's scream echoing through the alley. I immediately ran in that direction, even though I had no weapon—I couldn't leave someone in need.
As I turned through some dark, filthy streets, I ran into a short woman, brown hair, eyes full of tears. I held her tightly and saw someone's silhouette running away. It would be very hard to catch whoever it was.
— Are you okay? — I asked, worried. She was still too panicked to answer.
I took her to the militia, asking them to notify Investigator Desnki about what happened. Then I immediately headed to Mrs. Greenfield's house. I wanted to find Eric and tell him right away what had happened. I knocked on the door with some urgency.
It wasn't surprising when the woman answered, giving me a questioning look.
— I'm here to talk to Felix. — I said urgently. She noticed my tone and let me in.
— He went out; I don't know if he'll be long. You can wait. — She said, still watching me as if analyzing every move.
— I'll wait. — I sat in the armchair. The situation was uncomfortable—I didn't like her gaze. She sat across from me, drinking wine.
— You and Eric seem quite close. — She began, curious at first. I turned to her, not knowing where she wanted to go with this.
— Yes. Is that a problem? — I asked, my tone a little acidic. I didn't want to continue this topic.
— You saw us that day; I tried to kiss him, but Eric hesitated. I don't believe my husband is alive. If he were, there would've been a ransom by now... but there's nothing. I need a man like Eric to feel safe. — Why was she saying this? My anger only grew. I didn't understand why she was confronting me like that.
— And why are you telling me this? — I tried to keep my voice neutral, but my resentment seeped through.
— I just want to make things clear. After all, I noticed your closeness with him when you saw us in that room. — She sighed, seeming to think. — When we were younger, I fell for John. But this panic made me realize how much I loved Eric—his kisses, hugs, he was so affectionate... when he whispered in my ear that he loved me.
He never said that to me. I couldn't help but be shocked by her words. I didn't know their relationship had been that deep—with declarations of love.