Watching the Shimura brothers make fools of themselves fighting over the Hokage seat was laughable enough. Transplanting Shisui's Mangekyō, grafting Hashirama's cells, embedding Sharingan into arms... How many fans could have guessed how twisted it all really was?
Now, Danzo Shimura stared at his missing right hand. His left was wrapped in thick bandages. Worse still, he was currently stuck in a feminized form. And today's punishment? Total deafness.
Layers upon layers of buffs and curses overlapped. Danzo wanted to cry.
He hadn't cried when the Second Hokage died. He hadn't cried when Hiruzen became Hokage. Not when Minato stole the seat. Not even when Tsunade became the Fifth. But now?
Now he was told that Hinata's father should be given the Hokage's seat for the wedding?
Was that fair?
"I, Shimura Danzo, have carried the darkest burdens of this village," he roared at his reflection. "I killed Shisui! I twisted Nagato's path! I drove Itachi into exile! I've devoted my life to Konoha, and yet... and yet!"
He clenched his teeth, seething. "I'll kill Kakashi. I'll slaughter Naruto. That brat—"
But he could not deny the truth.
In the final battle, Naruto had kicked away a Truth-Seeking Orb with sheer brute force. He fought with Jiraiya beside him. He wielded Nine-Tails chakra and Sage Mode like a monster. Naruto had surpassed all logic.
If this continued, the Tailed Beasts might really be freed. Maybe... Naruto truly could bring peace.
Ping.
Minato messaged, ever the cheerful in-law:"Dear future father-in-law, what do you think? Shall we discuss it over tea?"
Hizashi Hyūga replied slowly, fingers trembling as he typed:"If Naruto becomes the Seventh after Kakashi... then I have no objections."
Tobirama snorted. "Isn't that obvious? If Naruto unites the Five Villages, the office is his by right."
Hashirama added with a groan, "I told you all. If we used my Susano'o, we could've ruled the world. Why did we even choose peace?"
Ōnoki muttered, "Let Konoha have their fun. I'll go back and rebuild the crater that was Iwagakure."
The Fourth Raikage grunted, "Suddenly, I feel like plowing fields."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Want me to come find you, big guy?"
Before another reply came, the System chimed in:
"Time's up. Stop chatting—next video begins in thirty seconds!"
Sasori sighed. "The System gets weirder every day. It used to say 'Please prepare for the next video.' Now it just barks orders."
Hashirama shrugged. "As long as we get the point."
Tobirama nodded. "Exactly."
Madara snapped, "You two are idiots."
System Broadcast:"Thirty seconds until livestream: The Old, the Weak, the Sick, and the Crippled Pair. Please enjoy!"
Hashirama blinked. "Old, weak, sick, and crippled? What kind of title is that?"
Tobirama perked up. "Another daily life segment? I look forward to these peaceful glimpses."
Hashirama recoiled. "You... you enjoy 'warmth'? You're not my brother."
Tobirama looked at him in confusion. "What?"
Madara groaned, "Shut up, fools."
Video Feed Begins:
A tranquil lake shimmered beneath a clear blue sky. Mountains framed the distant horizon.
Two figures walked together, leaning gently on each other.
Their backs were slightly hunched. Their white hair fluttered in the breeze. Each step was slow, yet steady. Their silhouettes radiated peace, as if they had finally found solace.
System Prompt:"Quick Answer: Who are these two?Correct answer grants a one-hour 'Summon This Character' card (10 million Ryo value). Please name them in chat!"
Tobirama scoffed. "Old, weak, sick, crippled... and now we can rent them for ten million Ryo per hour? What kind of mercenary pricing is that?"
Hashirama laughed. "Ten million is nothing. My Susano'o earns a hundred million per hour."
He added proudly, "I can reshape mountains in an hour. What's ten million?"
Ōnoki cut in, "Enough bragging. Can we answer already?"
Ōnoki peered closer. "White hair must mean old and weak. The other one... maybe sick or crippled?"
Hashirama squinted. "How are we even supposed to answer? They're just silhouettes."
Elsewhere, in the hidden base of the Akatsuki, Konan's eyes widened. The figure in the video... it looked just like Nagato. Except the hair was white.
She turned to look at Nagato beside her. He stared back, equally confused.
"Their movements... they're both from Akatsuki?"
The System confirmed loudly:"Correct. These two were once members of the Akatsuki!"
The entire ninja world erupted.
"What? The Akatsuki recruits old people now?""Are we just letting anyone join these days?"
Even inside the Akatsuki base, chaos followed.
"Have we really fallen that far?""Are we that desperate for members?""Next thing you know, we'll recruit Ebisu-sensei!"
And so, the mystery deepened.
Two aged figures. One familiar silhouette. A quiet moment by the lake. The world watched, breath held, wondering what truths lay ahead.