Uda angrily ran her hands through her hair and let out a furious scream.
"Damn it! What are we supposed to do? What options do we have? Stop sinking into fear and misery and start thinking!" she shouted into the room, angrier than she had intended.
She had not expected it to have any effect, but slowly the others fell silent and finally looked at her.
"We have the tower..." said a young woman who stared at her feet and wept quietly.
"It is as good as a paper house. I know you can only feel it and have not seen it yet, but there are... too many. They are coming toward us like a dark flood. We don't have much time to prepare. The only good news is that Orfet saw the barrier, so it is still there. If we could somehow make it there..." Uda pondered, now a bit calmer.
Somehow she had managed to swallow the panic.
"Then why do we not just go there?" asked Ya.
Orfet joined in, still pale.
"We saw creatures moving between us and the barrier and coming toward us. They are probably almost at the collapsed entrance..."
The barrier is perhaps a refuge. Not necessarily a safe refuge, because countless terrible things are storming toward us, but maybe the shield is strong enough.
On the other hand, their path was blocked by other monsters. Uda was sure they could not overcome them all; the creatures seemed agile and quick, not as restricted in their movement as the beings that had killed Tonu, Dal, and Locu, or the Deepwinder. Besides, they moved in packs, not alone. Their chances were very poor, almost nonexistent.
What then?
"We... we have my rain..." whispered Nia, uncertain.
She looked around uncertainly. Uda frowned.
"You only used it once, and you were out of your mind then. Do you think you can do it again? Under stress?" she asked.
Nia shook her head.
"No. But what other choice do we have? We neither have enough time to prepare properly nor enough time for me to practice. It's all or nothing..."
"What is she talking about?" asked Orfet.
"When we were chased by the Nightshades, she somehow managed to summon flesh-eating rain. It saved both of us and wiped out the entire swarm," Uda explained grimly.
"Yes. But like Uda said, I was deeply shaken because I had just lost someone important... Shit! Maybe I can do it? If I just concentrate enough, emerge myself in what happend..." said Nia.
She spoke now more thoughtfully and decisively, and the small spark of hope that still glowed in Uda was rekindled. Slowly, she stepped toward Nia and looked her in the eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course not!"
Nia laughed without joy, her voice sounding as hollow as her eyes shone.
"But what other choice do we have? Does anyone here have a better idea?" asked Uda desperately, looking around pleadingly.
No one said anything, and no one seemed to be thinking of other options. Everyone looked dazed. Only the groaning of the wounded man bleeding from his head broke the silence.
Uda knew she could simply run away. She could probably make it, just running to the edge of the barrier and leaving the others behind. If it was like her attack on the Deepwinder, it would not be a problem to jump between or even over some creatures.
But she could not. Nia was here, along with all these other people who wanted to seize their second chance. Nia had come here voluntarily, together with her, yet despite everything, Uda felt a responsibility toward her. Besides, she was unsettled by Nia's strange behavior, which she had shown a little too often.
Can I still trust her?
Right now Nia looked determined, pressing her lips together stubbornly and waiting tensely for the plan she would propose. Everyone was waiting.
"We will go to the floor just below the roof. All those who are injured, both mentally and physically, will barricade themselves there with Nia. The others, who are ready to fight with me until Nia can summon the rain, will position themselves between the battlements so that we can cover all sides of the tower. We will bring up as much rubble and debris as we can. It worked once before to use the force of falling to our advantage. When this wave of darkness hits us, maybe we can hold out long enough. I will bring up as much material as I can; I am probably the one among us able to lift the heaviest loads. As soon as the rain comes, we retreat!" Uda decided.
It felt wrong because she did not want to take all the responsibility on herself. But she was the only one who could think clearly at the moment.
Fuck, why didn't I stay inside the barrier? Why did I have to play the hero? Is that what I am? A stupid hero who keeps making mistake after mistake just to satisfy the urge to save others? Thanks a lot, conscience.
"I have to be on top of the tower; it certainly won't be enough if I sit under the roof. I have to see the monsters. Last time I was under enormous... stress, and I do not want to take any chances! I have to recreate that!" Nia whispered, trembling.
Uda wanted to object but did not know what to say. She had to trust Nia's judgment. She clenched her teeth and nodded.
They set off as quickly as possible, but probably not quickly enough. Sweat ran down Uda's back as she watched how slowly the others climbed the stairs to reach the area under the roof. Outside, a howling sound echoed, and Ya collapsed.
"Gray Prawlers!" she screamed through tears and had to be supported by Nia, while only scratching and scraping noises came from the floor below them.
"They are trying to fight their way through the rubble! I think they are too big for the hole, but if they..."
"We already closed it up again! Right after you climbed through this morning," Orfet assured her, helping the man with the head injury back to his feet.
Eventually they left the room, which now reeked even worse of urine, vomit, and sweat, and soon Uda was back on the stairs. But this time, everything felt much slower and more exhausting. It did not help that some of the otehrs kept breaking into uncontrollable sobs or froze in place, while a disgusting yet strangely calming sensation steadily grew in the back of Uda's mind.
She could not even begin to imagine what it must feel like for those who perceived the approaching flood of creatures much more intensely and clearly. Only Nia seemed unaffected; on the contrary, her energy and determination increased with every moment.
"Why are you so protected from these feelings that are driving everyone else insane?" Uda whispered while they searched for debris on one of the floors that they could use as projectiles against the attacking creatures.
"I don't know. Why are you?" came the counterquestion, which unsettled Uda even more.
Nia was right, of course. The feeling of darkness that was increasingly seeping into her mind was disgusting, repulsive, and sickening, but also strangely pleasant and comforting at the same time. It horrified Uda to think about her impending doom in such a way. Had she been so reckless in her previous life? Risking her life for others? Was that how she had died – as a martyr or a heroine for a good cause...? She could not remember, and in a way she was glad. Her past did not weigh heavily on her, allowing her to focus on the problems ahead.
She and Nia managed to find some beams and stones, which they carried upstairs. Uda also brought several debris pieces from vine-like statues she had discovered on one of the floors. It was hard work dragging everything up the crumbling, fragile stairs, but together they managed. Orfet and a young woman had used the time to further seal the collapsed gate on the ground floor, but they reported with concern that more claws and growling screams could be heard from the other side.
"I am not sure how long everything down there will hold. But eventually they will break through, sooner rather than later. We barricaded the windows with cabinets, the same ones we used to throw stones at the Deepwinder. But that's all we've got. They will get in there. All the more important that we seal the staircase leading to the floor below the tower roof. That will be the last barrier against intruders from below. We need to hurry," Orfet whispered to Uda.
Finally, the moment had came.
Aside from three people who were half-mad or injured and had stayed on the floor below, all of them stood at the battlements, nervously gazing toward the mountains where the black mass of raging bodies had been sighted. Everyone who could somehow stand had chosen to help defend. Beams, remnants of tables, chairs, and other furniture, as well as stones and pieces of statues, had been piled into various heaps, evenly distributed to minimize the time needed to grab an object and heave it over the masonry.
They had already surprised one of the Wanderpirscher that had tried to dig a hole into the rubble at the gateway, and the others had for now given up and were now circling the base of the tower with bared teeth. Uda spat down on them.
"Damned brood..."
Now they could only wait. The air was dry, and the sun kept rising. More time passed than Uda had expected, and soon she found herself wondering whether they could have prepared more.
Could I have done more? Could I have found a way to the barrier? If I had tried to break through the wall leading outside toward the field, could we have crept along the outside wall? Or would I only have destabilized the foundation of the tower and buried us all alive? have I..
"Are you ready?" Uda asked, turning to Nia to distract herself from her doubts.
The cool wind whistled around them, and despite the rising sun, the air felt ever colder.
"No. No, I am not ready. But I will do my best, whatever that may be. After all, I am here to save people, remember? Otherwise, Locu's sacrifice would have been for nothing, right?" said Nia.
She forced herself into a smile that flickered across her trembling lips but failed miserably. Uda could not hold it against her.
"Nia, why are you really here? You said it yourself: Locu sacrificed himself for you. Why risk your life now? Do you think that's what he would have wanted? Would he not have preferred for you to be safe?" Uda asked.
"He would have wanted to be with me. And I with him. But he is gone. He is gone and I am still here. And I hate myself for it. For my carelessness. For my slow reflexes. For doing nothing to help us, just being a burden tied to his leg. And to your leg. I can help these people, and it helps me keep this terrible darkness inside me under control. So yes, I have to do this, so I don't lose my mind," Nia explained.
Uda blinked away tears. She swallowed hard, wiped her face, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Before she could answer and try to comfort Nia, she heard Orfet's calm announcement:
"They are coming."