If the cold of the night and the light of the moon and stars were a bath of tranquility, Tomás would have stayed there until he disappeared. But at least the nocturnal silence sheltered him, and the cold sand on his back mortified him enough to remind him that he was alone. Without a doubt, he had walked a long way: getting from his house to the beach took at least two hours on foot, and yet, he hadn't even thought about the route when his body traced it on its own.
The solitude cleared his mind, and the cold tortured his body. It was the ideal moment to let that pain purify his soul, to atone for his sins. What had he done to deserve such misfortune? Had he committed some unforgivable mistake? He felt so alone... why couldn't he simply accept the few good things he had? The smile of his childhood friend, his new friend Anaís... Loneliness. Why did he feel so unworthy?
When he returned home, it was almost dawn, and yet he couldn't avoid his daily chores. He washed what was left on the table and in the sink, cooked as he did every day. That was his moment of peace, the only time tranquility overflowed his soul and the torture of moving forward day by day vanished. When he finished, he went up to his room and collapsed onto the bed, exhausted and hurt. He would have slept all day if the doorbell hadn't rung a couple of hours later. His mother and cousin were gone. Who could it be at that hour?
He opened the door, and on the other side of the gate was Sunny, his lifelong friend. She simply smiled.
"Did you think I was just going to let you miss class like that?" She opened the gate and walked in with the same swagger of someone who believes they own the world. "You look like you had a bad time; you have dark circles that reach your lips."
"How funny." Tomás closed the door behind him. "Are you hungry? I haven't had breakfast yet."
"Me neither. I was going to eat something at school, but when I got there, Anaís told me you'd been suspended. I don't know what's wrong with her... she was sad, I guess. And why didn't you tell me anything? Aren't we friends?"
Tomás walked into the kitchen and took out some eggs, then put a few slices of bread in the toaster.
"I don't know. I guess at the time I was too upset to call you. Besides, it was because of a fight with Sam."
Sunny smiled. "Did you think I'd be mad at you for hitting Sam? Sometimes you're so silly... I don't care if you fight amongst yourselves; I'm friends with Sam because he's... or was, your friend."
Tomás looked at her from across the counter. "Coffee or tea?"
"Coffee. Or I'll fall asleep right here. Though I'd prefer to sleep in your bed. How long has it been since I was last at this house?"
"A couple of years, at least. When you lived nearby, you came often. I don't know why you don't come anymore."
"If you're always working, how am I supposed to come over?" She hugged a cushion on the sofa and brought it to her face. "Everything in this house smells like you."
Both laughed, relaxed.
"You plan to go to the same university as me, right?" Tomás asked with some apprehension.
"I already told you yes. But you have to help me study for the entrance exam. I don't want to hold you back or be a nuisance."
"You're never a nuisance." He took the eggs out of the pan when the toaster finished its work and put everything on the table. He filled two cups with coffee, one for each of them. "I have to go to Professor Krikett's old school. Do you want to come with me?"
Sunny got up from the sofa and sat at the table. "Okay, if you want me to come with you, I will. Now you tell me one thing: what's been going on in your life? Why were you fired from your job? Why did you fight with Sam? Why do you have a strange relationship with Anaís, with Professor Sofía, with Professor Krikett...? Why?"
"How do you know...?"
Sunny interrupted him. "You don't seem to realize, but I'm your friend... and besides, I have many other friends. I'm very popular, after all. In fact, you should be grateful to have me here. Do you think I don't notice what's happening around you? Even the teachers comment on what you said to Sofía. Don't you think you're going too far?"
Tomás sighed. "Sunny, I don't really know what I'm doing. I was fired because I discovered my boss having an affair behind his wife's back."
Sunny's expression of shock was immediate. "Are you serious?"
"It's true. And you're the only one I've told. For God's sake, don't make that face."
"But how...?"
"I already told you I confessed to a co-worker. I did it, in part, to confirm that she was dating someone... And I'm sure my boss and she had a secret relationship. His wife knew it too. When I found out, he fired me a few days later. Especially after I confessed to her. There's the reason for my dismissal. But don't worry, I'm looking for another job."
"Actually, I believe you. But if it were just that, you wouldn't have gone so far. I imagine that, in truth, you had something with that woman."
"It's not that we had a relationship... but I think I was her support amidst that madness. While they were deceiving her, she would smile at me and I would help her laugh. We had a strange, but sincere relationship. I think she cared about me, and I about her... but we were nothing more than friends. I guess if she hadn't been going through that, she never would have paid attention to me."
"Wow... And you've been keeping all this to yourself all this time. Are you crazy?"
"A little, perhaps." He emptied his coffee cup. "As for the other questions, they're trifles. Professor Sofía simply reviews my manuscripts. It was Professor Krikett's recommendation. I talked too much with her, I think my criticism of her got out of hand. I've thought about apologizing... but she's a hypocrite, and it's hard for me to do."
Sunny looked at him over the rim of her cup. "You have nothing to lose by doing it. Is it that hard for you to apologize? You should write an apology and take it to school. Maybe they'll reduce your suspension."
"Usually not. I don't know why I didn't want to do it, but now that you say it, I look like an idiot. Maybe I went too far with her, that's why she hit me. I guess I'll go apologize when classes end; I don't think it's good to let time just pass."
"And with Anaís and Sam? Well, you already know about that. Sam thinks I made him look bad with Anaís because I like her. I explained that I didn't, but he doesn't want to understand. She told him that if he wanted an answer, he should confess himself, but he understood what he wanted and ended up hitting me. The second time he tried, I stopped him and hit him back."
Sunny looked at him with an raised eyebrow. "Anaís likes you, did you know that? At least I think so. But I don't know what happened with that Alex in the end."
"She said that, that she liked me... but I don't even know that Alex," Tomás looked down.
"Why didn't you answer her? Did you suddenly become a coward?"
"I didn't know what to tell her. I don't want to hurt her feelings."
"Liar. You should look at yourself in a mirror when you talk about that older woman. You're in love with her."
"I want a normal life. I don't think I've fallen in love with her and, more than likely, she hasn't fallen in love with me either. When Anaís told me she liked me, I thought maybe I could live a normal youth, but I'd be lying to her. What am I supposed to do then?"
"Too complicated."
"Exactly. Why does everything have to be so complicated when all I want is peace?"
Sunny got up and took him by the arm. "Tomorrow I'll go with you wherever you're going to see the professor. But now you and I are going to be together until you apologize to the professor."
Without waiting for an answer, she dragged him to Tomás's room and, without hesitation, flopped onto the unmade bed. "Come, lie down next to me."
Tomás looked at her nervously. "Are you sure?"
"Come on, it's not like you have the courage to do anything to me," she said, slapping the bed with an open palm. "Hurry up. You need to sleep to get rid of those raccoon eyes."
He smiled with resignation and, without further argument, lay down next to her, stiff as a board. Sunny, on the other hand, made herself comfortable with complete naturalness. She took his arm, rested her head against his chest, and used it to warm herself.
"I can feel your heartbeat. Are you nervous?"
"Of course... it's the first time I've been with a woman in my room."
"Don't forget it's me. I'm not just any woman, I'm your friend. Relax already or you won't enjoy it."
"Are friends supposed to do this?" he asked, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "You're making it difficult for me."
"I didn't think you saw me as a woman. You've always treated me like an annoying brother."
"That's not true, I..." He hesitated for a moment, doubting whether to say what he was about to say. "I love you. You know I love you very much."
"Of course I know, and I love you too," she replied without hesitation. "I don't know why you look for trouble with strange women. Don't you have enough problems at home already?"
"I appreciate your company, but your parents will worry if you miss classes. Besides, if we both miss, rumors will start. You know how they are."
"My mom gave me permission. In fact, she said if I didn't come see you, I'd be a terrible friend."
Tomás sighed, finally relaxing. "Sounds like something she'd say."
"You really are terrible," Sunny murmured, closing her eyes with satisfaction.
She snuggled even closer to him, feeling that, with what she had said, a huge weight had been lifted from her. "You're not going to run away when I fall asleep, are you?"
"To be honest... that's what I was hoping for."
He slid his fingers through Sunny's silky brown hair, stroking it gently. It was the first time he had done something like this with a woman and it felt good. He felt loved, truly.
"Hey, don't go falling in love with me, you'd have to get in line," she joked, sliding a hand over his chest with a playful smile.
They stayed like that for a long time, in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence. It was the first time Tomás had stroked Sunny's head, and the first time she had been so close to a man. Both felt a nervous tingle in their stomachs, a strange but pleasant sensation.
And they wished, even for an instant, that this moment would last forever. Because, upon leaving the room, reality was harsh and very different.