"Hohoho, your stance is too rigid, Akuma-dono."
"That's because I'm trying not to die, old man."
I gritted my teeth, sliding backward across the gravel as Hakuro's wooden sword slammed down with enough force to crack the ground. Not just the ground. My pride too. A few meters to the side, Gobta was already flailing, wheezing for the third time today after getting tossed like a ragdoll.
"You know, you could go easier on us!" I snapped, spinning to dodge the second blow—barely—before lunging in low. The wind around us cracked with every movement, and I could tell even now that I wasn't going to win this trade.
"Easier? A blade does not go easy, Akuma-dono," he replied, far too cheerfully for someone who just tried to decapitate me.
I leapt backward and landed beside Gobta, who gave me a thumbs-up with a black eye.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" I muttered.
"Play dead?"
"Close."
The moment Hakuro darted forward again, I grabbed Gobta by the collar and launched him straight ahead like a meat shield.
"Huh?! W-Wait—AKUMA-SAMAAAA—!"
"Distraction!" I shouted, circling wide to flank while Hakuro's attention shifted. A flash of hesitation crossed his features, if only for a second. I took the chance, my palm glowing with an ignited spell, and swung low at his side.
I missed.
No—I got countered, flipped, and shoulder-thrown into the dirt so hard I saw stars. Gobta landed next to me a second later, unconscious. Again.
"Hoh… clever use of your ally," Hakuro praised, gently shaking his head as he loomed above. "But without the skills to back it up, teamwork is just a fancy way to fall together."
"…Thanks, sensei," I muttered into the ground. I tasted copper and dirt.
Lying there, half-buried in gravel and annoyance, my eyes wandered toward the nearby field—only to feel my breath catch in my throat.
There, dancing amidst sparks and steel, were Benimaru, Souei… and Shizu.
No, not dancing—fighting. And it wasn't the kind of spar you'd expect between allies.
I don't even know if I could call that a spar at all.
Benimaru surged forward in a blur of crimson, his katana coated in flame, clashing with the afterimage of Souei's twin blades. The moment he thought he landed a hit, Souei vanished, his body dissolving into smoke, only to reappear behind him, blade aimed at his neck.
But he was stopped.
By a masked woman wreathed in black fire.
Shizu's heel kicked down from above, sending a shockwave through the earth as Benimaru blocked just in time. Souei blurred to her side, thrusting forward, only for her to pivot, catch the blade with her bare hand—lightning bursting out in all directions—and spin into a sweeping kick that sent them both flying back.
The ground around them cracked. Wind pressure blew away the surrounding dust, and trees bent from the sheer force of their movement.
I sat up, jaw slightly open.
Benimaru shot her a grin, fire flaring up behind him like a blooming inferno. "You're still holding back."
Shizu didn't answer. She just stepped forward, flames coiling around her arms like serpents.
Souei's voice echoed from behind her before she could respond. "We can still fight."
The three blurred again, blades clashing like thunder, flames igniting across the field, shockwaves booming into the distance as if gods themselves were dueling on sacred ground.
"…I think I'm in love," I muttered, wiping the blood from my nose.
Hakuro only chuckled beside me, arms crossed. "Perhaps you should focus on surviving first, Akuma-dono."
Yeah. Fair.
But still, as I watched the trio explode into another round of absurd attacks—Shizu calmly matching them both blow for blow, holding her ground like a storm contained in human form—I couldn't help but feel a spark.
Not of fear.
Of challenge.
Of wanting to catch up. No… to surpass them.
Eventually.
Just not today.
I groaned, flopping my head back onto the grass, limbs sprawled like a ragdoll freshly ejected from a blender. I was ready to rot here for a bit, maybe reflect on my life's choices—like volunteering for sword lessons with a geezer who apparently thinks death is a form of training.
But of course, peace is illegal in this forest.
"Akuma-sama," came Shuna's calm, polite voice as she approached from the slope, her footsteps light as ever. "We have… guests."
The way she said it made it clear she wasn't sure whether to call them guests or roaches. I blinked up at her, already feeling my headache reboot.
"They're asking for you," she added, casting a brief glance toward the three still locked in their ridiculous spar. Shizu, Benimaru, and Souei all froze mid-step, their instincts sharp enough to pick up the shift in the atmosphere.
"Back to reality, I guess." I pulled myself up, brushing off dirt and bruises like they were accessories. The others followed behind me, cracking necks and adjusting blades like they weren't just going at each other like maniacs.
"So, uh… who are these guests?" I asked absently, too tired to speculate. Maybe it was a merchant. Maybe a traveling dignitary. Maybe someone sane for once.
We reached the clearing by the village gates.
Nope.
Standing in formation were a dozen or so lizardmen. All of them proud. All of them looking dumb. All of them flexing unnecessarily. And in the middle of this overly dramatic display was a single lizardman with a purple scales, striking a pose like he was auditioning for the cover of Lizard Vogue.
"ALL HAIL THE GLORIOUS GABIRU!"
"Gabiru! Gabiru! Gabiru!"
I stared. They chanted. I stared harder.
"…Ah. I forgot about him."
Next to me, Mzcore cracked his knuckles. "Shall I remove them, Akuma-sama? I believe their pride is an offense to our eyes."
Everyone else looked equally unamused. Even Rigurd looked like he was trying very hard not to let the vein on his temple burst. But they were all waiting—for me.
I let out a long, slow sigh and raised my hand to halt Mzcore's enthusiasm.
"No, no. Let me."
I stepped forward, expression blank, voice dry.
"Oi… lizard. You're the one demanding our help, right?"
The chanting stopped mid-syllable like someone pulled the plug. Gabiru's eyes widened as he looked toward me, suddenly realizing he may have overstepped.
Benimaru and the others shifted behind me, amusement glinting in their eyes as I let out just a little of my magicules.
"Tell you what," I muttered, cracking my knuckles, "if you survive this hit—we will."
Dark flames erupted from me, swirling into my limbs, compressing tight around my fist as I lifted it toward the lizardman with all the slow inevitability of judgment itself. The air grew thick, warped by heat and pressure. Even the abyss spiders watching from the shadows stilled.
Gabiru's pupils shrank to dots.
Then—right before I swung—I stopped.
"…Just kidding." I exhaled, letting the flames flicker out with a lazy puff of smoke. "You actually came at a good time. I was gonna talk to your father about an alli—"
Thud.
Gabiru hit the ground.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.
So did all the others.
"…Right," I muttered, rubbing the bridge of my nose as I watched the collapsed lizardmen twitch in unconscious piles.
"Impressive." Souei asked dryly from behind me.
"I didn't even touch them," I groaned.
"They were too stunned by your presence," Shuna said politely, covering her mouth with her sleeve.
Benimaru chuckled.
Shizu just walked past me and muttered, "Next time, don't joke around."
Fair point.