The Ironroot Sect wasn't glamorous. It didn't have flying palaces, dragons, or disciples in fancy robes meditating on waterfalls.
What it had was mold.
And brooms.
And me — the guy assigned to mop spiritual chicken droppings off training stones.
> [Daily System Quest Assigned!]
Objective: Clean the Elder's meditation courtyard before sunrise.
Reward: 1 Spirit Pebble (cracked), 2 XP (non-transferable).
Bonus: If Elder steps in poop, Host receives 3 days of punishment duty.
"Why do I feel like even NPCs in other novels get better quests than me?"
> [Host is encouraged to manage expectations.]
[Note: The pebble may be haunted.]
---
I dragged my mop across the courtyard while two inner sect disciples sat nearby, sipping tea and laughing.
"Is that the new guy?" one snickered. "The one who joined after a boar chased him into the latrine?"
"Yeah. I heard the system gave him a biscuit as a weapon."
They laughed harder.
I just muttered under my breath, "One day I'm gonna make you both eat spiritual manure."
> [Side Quest Offered:]
Do not throw poop at disciples.
Reward: Nothing. Just common sense.
"I hate this system."
---
That afternoon, the sect gathered for the Outer Disciple Combat Assessment.
Apparently, once a month, all new recruits got evaluated to see if they were "worth training" or just "spiritual fertilizer."
I hadn't trained.
I hadn't meditated.
I hadn't even eaten real food since I got here.
But still—when they called my name, I strutted out like a protagonist ready to awaken a secret bloodline.
"Arin," the instructor said, squinting. "Your aura… it's nonexistent."
"That's because it's shy," I said confidently.
"Do you even cultivate?"
"I do. Deeply. Spiritually. From my nap mat."
---
My opponent was a twelve-year-old named Bao.
He had a wooden sword, a spiritual root, and the bloodthirst of a baby dragon.
I had… shoes with holes and the System-issued Stick of Encouragement™ (basically a stick with "Good luck" carved on it).
The fight lasted three seconds.
I swung.
He dodged.
He gently poked me in the ribs.
I collapsed like a sack of regret.
> [System Message:]
Quest Failed.
Public Humiliation Meter: 93%
You have gained: Minor Back Pain ×1
The crowd snorted. One elder sighed audibly. A squirrel judged me from a tree.
---
After the match, I limped back to my bunk. Yue Lan walked by with her sword floating behind her, looking like a goddess cosplaying a cultivator.
She glanced at me. "You didn't die. Impressive."
"That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day."
"Was that stick your real weapon?"
"…Yes."
She blinked. "I admire your bravery. Or your stupidity."
"Thank you. I work hard to blur the line."
She smirked and walked away.
---
That night, the system pinged me again.
> [Secret System Message Unlocked]
Hidden Mission: Make Sect Notice You.
Time Limit: 30 days.
Reward: Promotion to Inner Disciple OR Free System Upgrade.
Penalty: System may downgrade Host to 'Spiritual Pest.'
Hint: Causing controlled chaos may work in your favor.
I stared at it.
"Controlled chaos? System, are you saying… I should annoy people on purpose?"
> [System Response:]
😈
"Oh. We're gonna get along very well."