"In any case, Grandpa, you'll be staying in Japan for now. Until Grandma comes to drag you back, you can stay here."
Rinji placed two freshly cooked dishes on the table in front of his grandfather.
"Oh, your cooking has improved, Little Rinji."
"Thanks. Consider this a good meal before you go back to Grandma. Next time I see you, I might have to feed you personally."
"Don't say such scary things! With talk like that, how could I ever go back!?"
"Whether you want to or not, you're going. And if you end up paralyzed, that's on you."
"...Little Rinji, let's make a deal."
"What kind of deal?"
"When your grandmother asks... just tell her I already ran away, how's that?"
"Not happening."
Rinji coldly rejected his grandfather's suggestion.
"You just sit tight. I'll report your location to Grandma truthfully."
"I see... then I'll just tell her where you live," Grandpa said suddenly.
"Go ahead."
"You really don't mind? Your grandmother misses her precious grandson very much."
"So what?"
"She recently bought a bunch of pretty clothes—women's clothes."
Hearing that, Rinji visibly shuddered.
"Don't... don't scare me. I'm in high school now. No matter how much she enjoys that twisted hobby, I..."
"Let me think," Grandpa said, pretending to recall. "Those weren't kids' clothes. They were trendy women's outfits..."
"Enough! Where do you plan to hide?" Rinji gave in.
His grandmother's "hobby" was indeed strange. He'd suffered enough because of it as a kid.
"I knew it wasn't for nothing that I spoiled you."
Grandpa took two more bites, then pulled a small notebook from his pocket.
"Let's see... I should still have a few old flames in Japan. Maybe I'll stay with—"
"How did Grandma not smash your head in with a frying pan years ago?"
"Don't ask. I barely made it out alive back then... Hmm, this one seems good."
"You really are something else."
Rinji let out a deep sigh.
It was honestly frustrating. His grandpa was well into his senior years and still managed to attract women, while Rinji, in the prime of youth, couldn't even get a girlfriend.
"By the way, Rinji, do you have a girlfriend now?"
"No."
"Tch. Of all people to take after, why your dad? Not dating in high school—how shameful."
"I love studying. Studying makes me happy," Rinji said with a straight face.
"Your dad was the same—never acted like a proper young man. Always sneaking off to work on that dumb company of his. If it weren't for what happened in '99, your grandma and I would still be in the dark." Grandpa sighed. "Back then, we were really worried we'd never have grandkids. His emotional intelligence was so low we thought he'd never marry. Luckily, he did."
"I still don't understand what Mom saw in him."
"So, Rinji, are you also not dating because you're chasing some big dream?"
"No, I'm not dating because... I just can't find anyone."
"...Sigh. Neither of you are anything like me."
"Good thing, too."
"I see." Grandpa snapped his fingers. "I just happen to have a few tricks I can teach you... Don't give me that look! Even if your grandmother's chasing me down, I do know a thing or two about wooing women."
"Who asked you to—"
Rinji stopped mid-sentence.
He lowered his head, thinking.
Just as Grandpa said, putting aside his adulterous ways, he really did have more experience in this area. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to hear him out.
"Want to learn?"
"...Yeah."
"Good."
Grandpa nodded with satisfaction and leaned in, lowering his voice.
"First, you need to learn how to dress yourself."
"A real macho man doesn't need flashy looks to prove anything."
"...Who told you that?"
"My dad."
"That boy nearly died a bachelor. Don't listen to his nonsense." Grandpa clicked his tongue. "I mean you should pay attention to your style. Why do you think I can still attract women at my age? Just dye my hair, shave, throw on a suit—and boom, a sharp, successful middle-aged man."
"..."
That part was true. Grandpa was in great shape for his age, and with a bit of grooming, he didn't even look sixty.
"And look at you. Never mind clothes—you won't even trim your hair. Keep this up and you'll just end up attracting men instead."
'You can't hit your elders. You can't hit your elders. You can't hit your elders...'
"And you've got to be sociable. Don't go on and on about your own hobbies. Talk about stuff girls like. Compliment them now and then."
"Okay."
At some point, Rinji had pulled out a notebook and started writing down notes.
"And finally, the most important point."
"Go ahead, Grandpa."
"You need money."
"..."
"Don't give me that look. That girl in her twenties I mentioned? She had a fresh-out-of-college boyfriend. And who did she choose? Me. Know why?"
"Why?"
"Because even without working, my monthly pension is several times higher than that guy's annual salary."
"..."
"Only kids believe in pure love. How do you know the woman you like is with you because of love, or just because she wants a stable, easy life?"
Grandpa patted Rinji on the shoulder.
"You'll understand when you step out into society."
"..."
"It's about time."
Grandpa finished his meal, grabbed the trench coat from the coat rack, and headed for the door.
"I'm gonna slip out now. Cover for me, okay?"
Click.
With the door shut behind him, Grandpa left the apartment.
Rinji looked down at his notebook, densely packed with scribbled notes, and casually tossed it aside.
He might not be super rich (in his own opinion), but he wasn't exactly poor either. And yet, even his confession got rejected.
Clearly, Grandpa's "wisdom" didn't apply to him.