He disappeared somewhere in March, most likely 3 weeks after i left.
That was as far as his attendance could confirm.
They did manage to officially identify him, He and his vehicle were tracked by luckily placed security cameras.
The car had been found in Kobe, a few cities over, the prints inside had matched to 72,000 different people".
there has never been a Fredrick in Musutafu city since 2010, and never a Fredrick by his features in larger southern Japan since 2001.
Along with the dead ends of eight other leads the police could safely rule me as another statistic, besides the anomaly of me seeing the culprit's face which held no water anyway.
It was the age of quirks after all, who says he couldn't have just shaped shifted into the man i saw.
The speedy discovery of this information, 1 week, made it all the more impossible to digest.
Forensics team swept the entire apartment, taking everything that was his. i tried to negotiate, and by negotiate i mean beg, for at least a couple pictures but the most they would let me keep was a single plushie, a silver age Allmight with the cape half-torn off, his face slightly green from all the natural oils drenched in his skin over the years.
It was the third one i ever bought him, the first one being lost, the second taken in for evidence."
In the earliest days i still thought i had the strength to wall off my grieving process till at least my 50's. I reasoned that the universe had offered me a trade, I could only live with it now.
I lasted 3 months more overseas before i projectile vomited all over my boss's French designer, he fired me on the spot. Truthfully, he was getting bored of me, the fact that I rapidly started to gain weight along with my extensive list of depressive episodes made it impossible to maintain my sex appeal.
The flight back home was silent.
I came to the realization that My trial had long ended, i was sentenced to live my 50's for the rest of my life.
Silent.
then for some time the greatest mystery to me was why i felt the way i felt, could you blame me? I practically abandoned him for what he wasn't and yet i paradoxically grieved him for who he was.
3 months later I ended up moving back north, back home,
A few days later i went on a picnic date on Takoba beach with the figures, I don't remember the last time anything much less anyone asked me out.
Only for them to show up 30 minutes late and start mocking me on the dress I picked, the wine i chose, and the sandwiches i packed, how rude!
I found comfort in the fact they also had to smell the rotting trash that lined the beach for miles on end.
I started to stay home more often, and proportionally i started to lose more control over myself.
At first i dabbled in acute alcoholism and more overeating but none of them filled what i was looking to fill. I then discovered the joys of "Story building" as i called it.
I would spend hours playing around with the plushie i got to keep, I would pretend the plushie was him as a 5 year old.
I built a small reconstruction of the school he used to go to along with a less accurate larger commercial downtown.
I would feed him, clothe him, wash him right, not to mention his schooling, i started him early this time.
I made sure to attend every parent-teacher conference, every afterschool event.
I was there for every boo-boo, every hard test, and any moment of despair or rejoice in-between
most of all i made sure all the bully plushies, particularly the blonde ones, died horrible deaths, each of them taking swan dives off the highest building i could construct.
Mitsuki deepened her frown.
Inko noticed.
"....The silent figures couldn't stop rolling over themselves, this flavor being laughter, though i could never see what was so funny.
The weeks dragged along, The months slowed to a crawl, Some days my body still refused to move at all.
I was in-between jobs most of the time so i occasionally had to use his boarding school money to stay afloat, every time i did i cried for days on end.
My stomach would cave at the sight of someone eating cake.
I got a pet ant colony, I figured it would get me to stop obsessing over the plushies, I named the queen Uraraka, for peace.
In 8 months i gained 16 kilograms, not counting what i got during my France tour because i don't want to.
I searched for a secretary position endlessly, yet no matter how strategic my application, no matter how streamlined my interview process, no matter how much I babbled on about how I was ready to take any workload at the latest of hours and how great of a team player I was, I consistently was denied.
Maybe news of my international acclaim reached over here? No, it was them.
On a particular evening, not that i cared to remember which, I was greeted by a knock on my door.
At first i couldn't hear it as i was too busy immersed in my most perverted form of escapism.
Redecorating, for the 12th time, the old room of Izuku midoriya, this time with a twist, His teenager self wants to grow up a little too fast for my liking.
I hid porno magazines across his room the day before, then the next I day woke up and pretended to be shocked when i found them while he was at school, i scolded the Allmight plushie for "not waiting till marriage like a real man!"
Ironic coming from me.
After 4 minutes of the disruptive sound. i was inclined to believe it wasn't some conniving scheme from the figures.
I reluctantly got up from the carpet and opened the door to Izuku's room, i was then reminded on why i barely spent time anywhere else.
Cardboard boxes that formed a dense jungle in front of the door, the moldy living room center light that hadn't been changed in years, that one spider that still Boldy claimed the left side of the kitchen.
Almost on cue this wave of tiredness washed over me, my brain begged me to go back inside.
The fight just to get to the door was excruciating.
It didn't help that i had to walk past a standing mirror, i caught a glimpse of my reflection,
unkempt hair with single strands forming a barrier around my head.
A mystery stained undersized cardigan. Content in my delusion, i refused to buy new clothes.
The bags around my eyes were starting to sore, Uncontrollably swelling.
"Hi!!"
"..."
"I'm your new Neighbor! we're the Bakugos, we just moved back he-"
I coughed thrice while staring at her dryly, making sure my tone of impatience was felt.
"....well uh- i saw you talking to yourself on the beach the other day!!"
I raised an eyebrow.
The day she was talking about was 2 months ago.
"On my way to scout this house out me and my husband decided to drive around town, ya know, just to check out our old stomping grounds haha, Then we decided to go to Takoba beach, fun fact that's actually where he stole my first kiss!"
"........"
"........"
I just stared blankly, i didn't realize she expected me to react, not that i would've.
"...so ya, giggles*, anyway, we tried to reminisce about our academy days but oh man, the trash, frankly, it was stinking awful!"
"yeah."
"...right?? Like we pay the government how much? The least they could do is maintain the features of the land...ya know what? its because it isn't a touristy town, otherwise they'd...Clean up their act, haha!
"heh.."
"so yeah...yeah, As we started to leave in total disappointment, not to mention the sun was starting to set, i hear a scream in the distance, then some laughter
I turn around to see, among the piles of trash a green haired woman in a snow white moon dress, nearly bridal style with a bottle of 1768 French on one hand, and three crust sandwiches smushed into the other, hands in the air, screaming at the top of her of lungs
"YOU GUYS SUCK ANYWAY............!!!"
Then immediately crouch and start to bawl her eyes out".
Strangely i didn't remember the crying part, or much of anything else.
"it was an honest to god spectacle, you had me slack jawed, then rolling on my ass"
"I thought to myself, yeah she definitely has something to get off her chest, she seems really cool, so imagine my surprise when i find that same woman across the street picking up her newspaper, i just HAD to say hi! it didn't seem appropriate back then, since you were having your fun"
"...i see"
" no you don't! i uh came bearing gifts!
"I brought Cookies! HAHA!"
She crouched behind her and grabbed a baby blue platter with 7 of the biggest cookies you've ever laid your eyes on, all with a welcoming toothy smile.
Homemade! so, what do ya say?"
"....."
I wasn't Impressed.
I was convinced i could smell the corporate oozing off her, i told myself whatever she wanted to sell me it'd be quick, and if she was truly just here to make a friend then once she caught a glimpse behind the barely tinted Curtains then she'd be running for the hills before the kettle could start to boil.
The truth is the one year anniversary for my last meaningful interaction with something that didn't take every chance to belittle me or spoke Japanese back neared and i was painfully painfully aware of this.
And besides.
"I brought Cookies, HAHA!"
She brought cookies. Haha.
"....I'll make some tea".
"Great!"
I opened the door and she saw all of it....
The look of silent disgust on her face, characterized by a frown, was priceless.
Or was it pity? i couldn't really tell the difference between the two anyway.
"oh so you're still packing?"
"Yeah".
"how long had you been here?"
"One Year".
"...well, work must be demanding huh?
"I'm unemployed".
"......"
"......"
"well if you-, if you want i could call one of the guys to help you set things up"
it wasn't the greatest idea for her to offer me "help" as she failed to navigate through the waist high jungle of boxes while carrying a tray of cookies.
She fell almost immediately, i instinctually tried to catch the cookies but whatever social etiquette i had left stopped me midway, i was left to catch her fall.
4 of them had hit the ground, marking the rest of this encounter as mildly irritating.
"wow im so clum-"
"sorry about the-" (BOTH AT THE SAME TIME)
"ah don't worry 'bout it".
"Don't worry about it." (BOTH AT THE SAME TIME)
"....."
".....let me get you seated".
I motioned over to the only 3 pieces of unpackaged furniture, two one seater grey couches and a flat screen TV.
"I'll grab a folding table and get the kettle started".
" Do you have a broom?"
"don't worry, I'll take care of it".
"ah...alright."
I headed towards the kitchen, the spider and me were going to have a talk.
"............."
.....so, what school did you graduate from?"
"............"
"hello?"
Busy hands made silent work.
(FROM THE KITCHEN)
"....hm?"
I said, where did ya graduate?"
"....CrestMoon ac-"
"Huh?! you wont believe this but i use to go there too!"
"...really?"
"yeah! man those days... life was so simple back then"
"that it was..."
"..Did you think we knew each other? how old are you?"
".........."
"hello?"
"......I'm 29."
"oh?"
"yea".
"I'm 34, i guess that made you my kouhai haha".
I had finally bested and felled the beastly spider, it would've been quite the arduous bout had i forgot about the bug spray in the top counter.
the kettle started to scream.
"well...would you prefer i call you mitsuki-San then?"
"HUH.?!"
She couldn't hear me over the kettle, my mind raced to different conclusions.
"Uh, like...mitsuki-san~~ i-...sorry, stupid jok-
"Of course not! don't make an ageing woman feel any older! i already got a little shit that does that free of charge".
I couldn't control my stifled snort.
"Awww! you laugh so cute!"
"stop it."
"haha no need to feel embarrassed, it really is cute it feels young!"
"Okay okay"
" hey do you do karaoke?"
".....not since my school days?"
"really? seriously woman get with the times!"
I brought the tea out, i felt embolden enough to try another joke.
"what's with you and age?"
"the hell?! really you too?"
I froze.
You sound just like my husband! "honey honey it doesn't matter, it's natural really!" yeah yeah like he would trade this figure for a bag of bones, i know exactly how men think! Why do you think I've been married so long".
At this point the uncontrollable snorting turned into howling laughter.
She kept doing this thing where she just wouldn't stop, it got to the point where i was wheezing for air.
I tried to broom the mess of cookies but every few sweeps i had to pause to catch my breath from the flurry of banter.
She had an endless list of things she wanted to complain about, the epidemic of grabby coworkers at her job, her annoying brat that keeps getting suspended for on school violence, the terrifying level of skill she amassed when it comes to bootlicking her bosses, the disaster on her last holiday get together, her alcoholic stepbrother always asking her for money,
Chieftain being the fact that she was convinced everyone younger than me considered her decrepit because she was over 30 with a kid.
Even when i was a teenager i only started to consider people old after 48.
But more than anything, what had me truly mystified was the overwhelming lack of silence, replaced by an Aire of euphoria.
For longer than a moment i forgot we were in a trash heap of a house, or that tomorrow i had to start my first 7 hour shift as a garbageman, Or that just an hour ago i was playing dolls to compensate for my dead son.
My obligatory shackles were obliterated if even for just a second and i was allowed to walk away from it all.
It was simply impossible.
By now i had grown used to it, in fact i understood it all too well.
i knew that rotting silence came in waves.
"C'mon i know you know what I'm talking abou-"
"i'm telling you i don't".
"well maybe not feeling old but, c'mon, people don't at least treat you differently because you had a kid so young??".
"......wha-"
she said it so casually the implications didn't even register until 10 seconds later.
" Because believe me, those asshole college hires will take any chance to jab at me for i-"
"How did you know i had a kid?"
"The picture of you and your kid, over there".
Me, him, and his dad at the santo fair, I completely had forgotten i took the picture out of the room.
Is he in his room or something?
You look young in that photo, how old is he now? pretty obedient if you ask me i haven't heard a peep from him".
"................he's not".
"not?"
"....not here".
"But its summer... Is he with his parents.?"
"......"
Ah i get it, is he in some kind of boarding school?"
"....not really".
"Ah...oh my gosh i forgot to mention! i love the tea you brewed here, just what fla-------------?"
There it was, it took my vision with it.
I defaulted with the same reply, because i couldn't do anything else.
"yea, yeah. Thanks."
She switched the conversation this time but this was the most egregious example out of the few that happened.
"------------------------------------ju-----------time!"
"yea, yeah. thanks".
"...-----.."?
"are--------?"
yea, yeah. thanks".
"---ey..HEY!....hey."
I was met with that same face of silent disgust and pity, only it was neither.
A slight frown of curiosity, yet firmness.
Eyes that promised unconditional solidarity, if accepted.
An Impossible softness, if touched.
The face of a worried mother.
I had two choices
Allow her in or let her go.
She didn't deserve anything less.
Perhaps a greater woman would have kicked her out but i was falling from the seams, Whether she was here or not i was going to burst into a million pieces.
"well uh-..my son, he- he- he-"
I tried my absolute best to briefly explain without falling apart.
That unsurprisingly failed.
"HE DIED AND IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEE"
the tears had effected my voice, my eyes softened, turning red.
"HE GOT KIDNAPPED BECAUSEIDIDNTCARE...IMSORRYIMSOSOSOSSOSOSSOSSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSORRRYIZUKUUUUU"
From there I turned into an inconsolable mess that was to busy drowning herself in her own tears to elaborate.
I knew this wasn't what she signed up for, i didn't have the nerve to beg her to stay.
Reflexively I curled into a ball.
Yet the snowstorm never came.
I was Instead greeted by......... i didn't know.
It reached the seven seas with its gaze.
Casting me into a place i could never go, the depths of my ocean.
I was met with it who i call me.
An alien peace, incautiously across the grooves of budding flowers and among the progression of the steady clouds.
...The sun?
no.
it was...human.
it couldn't possibly, something this....
it couldn't have come from the hands of a mortal,
"he- hey its okay, it's okay..."
But i was wrong.
The human sun wrapped itself around my curled body.
I didn't know it possible, to feel like this.
I never thought i could feel so vulnerable, and live.
We stayed like that, i don't know how long.
" I knew you had something to get off your chest".
"I haven't even given you my name, Why?"
"I don't need a name, you need a hug".
I was given a glimpse of it.
Hate, Lust, Greed, Powerlessness...
Such meaningless lapses in mood evaporated in its presence.
Mitsuki smiled.
Inko noticed.
And for a moment i came to realize an iota of the immensity i deprived him of.
That of a mother's love.