But just as Luke and Wanda were starting to relax, the soldiers hit them with something unexpected.
They scratched their heads awkwardly, looking like overgrown schoolboys who forgot their lunch money.
One muttered, "Uh… it seems we don't have enough cash…"
Another added, "I thought someone else was bringing the money…"
Hearing that, Wanda's face darkened like a thundercloud. The glowing dollar signs in her eyes fizzled out instantly, replaced by righteous fury.
"What? You don't have enough money?!"
She stomped forward, hands on her hips, and jabbed a finger directly at Captain Havok's forehead.
"What kind of adult goes shopping without bringing money? Even the gangsters from before knew to pay!"
"Do you think you can just grab things and walk away? Is the U.S. military broke or just shameless?!"
Her voice cracked with indignation. If she'd been a few inches taller, she might've actually thrown hands.
Luke quickly stepped in, grabbing her outstretched hand mid-rant.
"Wanda, calm down. They're not stealing. It's just a… financial hiccup."
She turned to him with narrowed eyes.
"A hiccup that happens to carry guns?"
Luke gave her a knowing wink and whispered, "Let's not poke the guys with rifles, alright? We're not bulletproof."
With a greasy shopkeeper's grin, he whipped out the POS machine from behind the counter and held it up like a holy artifact.
"Gentlemen, no cash? No problem! We accept cards, too. Swipe now, pay later."
Captain Havok blinked, like the idea had just rebooted his brain.
"Oh—oh yeah. Credit cards."
He fumbled through his pockets, finally fishing out a worn-looking card from his back pocket. He handed it to Luke with the sheepish guilt of a teenager caught shoplifting gum.
"Sorry, totally forgot I had this…"
Swipe. Beep. Pin code entered.
Transaction complete.
Then, like a procession of polite zombies, the soldiers filed out, each cradling their "purchased" items like precious family heirlooms.
Wanda crossed her arms and gave a tiny nod of approval, her earlier rage now replaced by customer-service professionalism.
"Thank you for shopping at our black-market boutique. Come again, preferably with cash next time."
Luke let out a long sigh of relief.
That had been far too close for comfort.
But he knew this was only the beginning.
Now that he'd entered the line of sight of the real power players, people like General Ross, S.H.I.E.L.D, surely Hydra and other shady organizations, there'd be no going back.
This little grocery store was officially on the map.
And not in a good way.
Still, he had to admit, the system had performed beautifully today. The store had practically defended itself.
Defense is fine... but what he needs now are ways to strike back.
Luke looked over at Wanda, who was now dusting off her hands.
"Wanda, do me a favor. Go give the lucky cat at the door another pat for a job well done. I think it's the one responsible for all the... unexpected traffic."
Wanda nodded, already half-believing in its mystical power.
"Makes sense. After all this weirdness, I'm starting to think metaphysics is also science."
She walked over, gave the beckoning cat a gentle bop on the head, then cradled it in her arms like a holy relic. With the utmost care, she carried it upstairs to give it a proper cleaning.
…
Now that he had a moment to himself, Luke turned his attention to Doggo, who was spread across the floor like a lazy carpet.
With a mischievous grin, Luke crouched beside him.
"Hey, buddy. You remember the guys from earlier?"
Doggo cracked open one eye, tail twitching faintly.
Luke ruffled his head with affection.
"They pointed a gun at Wanda. You cool with that?"
Doggo's other eye opened. A soft growl escaped his throat.
"Thought so," Luke smirked. "Now be a good boy. Go track them down. Give them the punishment they deserve, make sure these people understand not to mess with us."
He stood dramatically, pointing toward the open door like a battle commander.
"Go, Doggo! I choose you!"
For a second, Luke even considered turning a cap around on his head like Ash Ketchum. It felt appropriate.
But Doggo… didn't move.
He stared at the open door. Then back at Luke.
Then flopped over onto his side with a heavy sigh.
"Seriously?" Luke groaned. "You have cerberus' DNA and you still act like a retired house pet?"
His eyebrow twitched, "Fine. Have it your way."
He stepped back, and gave Doggo a swift kick on the butt.
"Go!"
With a yelp and a wobble, Doggo finally got moving, padding toward the door like a grumpy toddler forced to wake up for school.
But just as he crossed the threshold, something changed.
His eyes flashed with a sudden burst of green light, very much like the Hulk's.
Luke didn't notice it. But if he had, he might've realized that Doggo's mutation, ever since devouring the Abomination's head, was no longer following any known pattern.
…
Meanwhile, the squad of soldiers sat in their military jeep, surrounded by plastic bags and confused stares.
Captain Havok looked down at the ashtray in his lap.
"...What were we doing again?"
A soldier beside him squinted at a tin of cookies.
"Wasn't there a mission we were supposed to complete?"
Another one chimed in: "We got enough snacks to complete the mission without going hungry."
Then another slapped the back of his head, "obviously, the mission was shopping for groceries, you idiot!"
They looked at each other in silence.
Then at their guns.
Then at the random groceries.
And finally back at the road in confusion.
"Is that right?"
…