Makoto's eye twitched. "How... athletic." He forced his attention away. "Anyway, I heard there's a strong swordsman nearby. Some guy named Roronoa Zoro."
Luffy's head snapped around so fast it stretched slightly. "Strong? How strong?"
"Strong enough to be called a demon," Makoto said, examining his nails. "Currently tied up at the Marine base in Shells Town. Apparently he promised to stand in one spot for a month without food if they let some brats go."
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "He sounds awesome!"
"By the way," Makoto added casually, "this ship is sinking. I've got a proper one nearby - be back in a flash." He disappeared in a crackle of lightning before Luffy could respond.
Reappearing on his luxurious personal schooner, Makoto barely had time to blink before-
"HIYAAA!"
A wooden sword came streaking toward his head. He caught it effortlessly with two fingers, the force sending the attacker - a petite girl standing on a stool - tumbling forward into his arms.
"Did you miss me already?" Makoto teased, squeezing the flailing girl in a bear hug. "I was only gone thirty minutes. I didn't realize your love was this desperate."
Taiga growled like a feral cat. "How could you abandon a me in the middle of the sea?! You're even more evil than I thought!" Her tiny fists pounded against his chest while she tried to bite his forearm.
"Important news," Makoto announced, catching her foot mid-swing and spinning her into another hug. "We're pirates now. I joined a crew."
The words hung in the air for exactly three seconds before Taiga's brain rebooted.
"...You." She went completely still. "Joined." Her eye twitched. "A crew."
Makoto leaned against the railing, idly playing with static between his fingers. "Hmm... yes? Problem?"
Taiga's face cycled through seven distinct expressions before settling on suspicious disbelief. "You... of all people... you?"
"And?" Makoto smirked, leaning against the ship's railing.
Taiga's eye twitched violently. Then she exploded forward like a tiny hurricane, leaping up to grab his collar with both hands. "HOW?!" she shrieked, her voice echoing across the waves. "How can someone as arrogant as you - a bastard piece of shit who wouldn't follow orders if God himself wrote them in the sky - voluntarily join a crew? Not even make one, but join? Accept someone else as captain?!" Her voice cracked comically on the last word.
Makoto remained perfectly balanced despite her dangling from his neck. With dead serious eyes, he answered: "Our new captain is insanely strong. He could defeat my Four-year-old self with ease."
Taiga froze. Her grip slackened. "...What."
"I was a terrifying toddler," Makoto nodded solemnly.
"You- That's-!" Taiga's face cycled through seven shades of red before she dropped to the deck, hands clutching her head. "That's the stupidest qualification system I've ever heard! Even for you!"
Makoto crouched down to her level, poking her forehead. "You'll understand when you meet him. He's got this... thing."
"A thing," Taiga deadpanned.
"Yeah. Like when you see a really good sword and just know it'll cut through anything."
"So your captain is... a sharp sword."
"No, he's rubber actually."
Taiga's face went completely blank. The silence stretched just long enough for a seagull to fly overhead before-
SPLASH!
Makoto had already taken the helm, executing a perfect 180-degree turn that sent Taiga sliding across the polished teak deck in her maid uniform.
"Wah! You absolute bastard! Warn a girl before-"
"Yap yap yap," Makoto mimicked her voice while adjusting the throttle. "Five more minutes and our captain becomes fish food."
Taiga barely managed to grab the railing as the luxury schooner's twin engines roared. "Why are we even saving him if he's supposedly so strong?!"
"He could bench press a sea king," Makoto said casually, steering one-handed. "But the ship he's on is sinking and..." He paused dramatically. "...he ate a Devil Fruit."
Taiga's grip slipped slightly. "Wait. You mean to tell me your supposedly invincible captain is-"
"Completely helpless in water like me."
A beat of silence. The ship's engines hummed.
"By the way," Taiga said sweetly, "you forgot your katana." She held up the gleaming blade that had been leaning against the helm this whole time.
Makoto's hand flew to his empty hip. His face went through five distinct stages of grief in two seconds flat. "What a useless maid! You let me leave without—"
"Yap yap yap," Taiga sing-songed, twirling the sword with dangerous precision. The blade came to rest millimeters from his nose. "Aren't you supposed to be a swordsman? Forgetting your sword is like forgetting your pants."
Her sweet smile turned razor-sharp. "You're pathetic."