It was raining.
The kind of steady, soft drizzle that turns roads into mush and motivation into soup.
Everyone was grumpy. The usual nap crowd was too damp. Even Kuro refused to leave his blanket fort. So I decided to bring out one of my favorite Earth comforts:
Uno.
Yes, that Uno.
Bright cards. Reverse traps. That beautiful +4 of doom. A game designed to destroy friendships and teach basic numbers. The perfect rainy day entertainment.
I called a few regulars—Lila, Marius, the mayor's daughter, and Elen the alchemist—and set the game up at a corner table of Reika's Rest.
"Simple rules," I explained. "Match the number or color. First to run out of cards wins. And yes, you can betray your closest allies."
Marius grinned. "Ah. Combat disguised as leisure."
Lila narrowed her eyes. "What's this… 'Draw Four' card? Why is it glowing with malevolence?"
"It's love," I lied.
At first, it went well. Laughter. Gasps. Marius tried to sneak two turns in a row and got tackled by a very competitive Elen.
Then someone yelled: "She reversed me during a skip while I was stacking reds! I demand an inquiry!"
People started watching.
Then joining.
By the end of the day, three tables were playing. Someone called it "The Great Duel of Colored Fate."
The next morning, someone had renamed it:
"UNUM: The Sacred Trials of Color and Will"
I laughed. Then I cried.
It escalated fast. Too fast.
Within days:
Handmade cards were everywhere
Children practiced +2 chains in alleys
A blacksmith made a ceremonial Uno horn to start matches
Marius wore a cloak with the Reverse symbol stitched into the back
One woman used a Draw Four in public and was hailed as the "Queen of Sudden Vengeance"
Worse? Factions formed.
The Red Storm – aggressive, fast players.
Blue Tide – cunning, defensive, fans of long games.
Green Breeze – peaceful, only plays to "feel the flow of life."
Yellow Dawn – chaotic energy wrapped in cheerful lies. Mostly children.
They had chants. Team hand signs. Color-themed snacks.
Someone asked if I would "bless the championship deck." I told them it was just a game.
They stared.
"So it must be a test, then."
Then came the tournament.
Held in the town square. Hand-painted banners. Hand-sewn uniforms. An actual announcer who shouted things like:
"Behold! Elen the Silent Alchemist unleashes the Chain of Eights!"
And—
"Ohhh! A triple-reverse-combo from Red Storm! The crowd goes wild!"
They made me judge the finals. I sat on a throne made of folded blankets and regret while two grown men glared at each other over a +2 standoff.
Kuro, wearing a custom tiny yellow cape, purred from my lap.
Red Storm won.
There were fireworks.
Someone cried. Two people got married during the celebration. I don't know how or why Uno caused that, but I've stopped questioning this world.
So now I'm:
Soft Prophet
Chronomage
Archwitch
Nap Sage
Grand Arbiter of the Sacred Color Trials
I just wanted to avoid wet feet and play a card game.
But fine. I'll make a trophy next time.