"Everyone packed up and ready to go?" Zavier called out, getting the same answer that every father who'd ever asked that question got: Silence. He sighed, shaking his head and loaded up a cooler with sandwiches made from the last of their meat and bread, random bags of half-finished chips, and bottles of water. They were making a trip to the zoo today and he wasn't sure how long they'd be gone. The payment for the Bouchard's help had been energy siphons from creatures they hadn't run into yet. Madison had given them a dozen spiked metal poles, each about two inches across and four feet tall.
They had to kill creatures around these to absorb their energy. She'd given them strict instructions, "One spike per creature type. Fill it as much as you can, you'll know it's full when the creatures start dropping loot again. They won't activate until they're stuck in the ground so you don't have to worry about the ones in the quiver absorbing them. They should be fine around the gauntlet, but not around that pen, so leave your chain at home Zavier."
If they could fill six of the energy siphon rods with exotic creatures, the more exotic the better, that would pay for the supplies and upgrades they'd gotten so far. Zavier had asked for another six for future payments, just in case they ran into more than the initial. He'd been trying to figure out how to best maximize filling the rods when a flash of inspiration told him where tons of animal types would likely be located.
And with that, the family was off to the county zoo.
An hour later they were driving down the surprisingly clear interstate. Tess sat in the front with Zavier, chin in her hand and head resting against the window. "I thought the roads would be choked with cars. That's what you see in every apocalypse movie."
Zavier considered and shrugged. "I guess that makes sense if everyone is trying to get out of town. Here, it just kinda happened and people had time to get home." Then something occurred to him and he turned on his 'I'm giving important information so listen up kids' voice. "If you see a group of cars blocking a road it's probably an ambush. What do you do when you think something is an ambush?"
They sighed and repeated the mantra in unison. "Don't stop, don't get out, just back away and go another route, even if someone is yelling for help."
Zavier smiled with pride and felt slightly justified that one of his lessons may actually have become realistic and useful.
45 minutes later they were pulling onto the off ramp and following the signs that promised a "Healthy and Fun Zoo Day at the Milwaukee County Zoo!"
Cass's heel was playing out a staccato rhythm on the floorboard as his knee bounced up and down. Luna reached out and grabbed his hand, feeling the Empathic Melee activate and his fear come flooding into her. Woah, I think the fight just started for him! She tried to push calm and reassurance to him through the bond, but a surge of panic obscured the link and then Cass was gone.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Zavier muttered to himself as they sped back to the house. Normally the trip would take 45 minutes but he was determined to get there in under 30. "We hadn't even gotten into a fight yet. Hadn't even seen a damned animal."
"He isn't scared of the fight, dad!" Luna jumped to his defense. "I felt it, he was scared of screwing up in front of you."
"She's right, you know," Tess said. "He's gotten comfortable with fighting. I think he's terrified of seeing us hurt and disappearing because of it, or of disappointing you. You keep treating him like he's got a condition and it is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy."
"But he DOES have a condition now, Tess!"
Tess's head whipped around and the glare she gave him could have broken glass. "So help me god, if you ever fucking say that to or around him you are going to need every healing pill the Bouchards can spare. In fact, don't ever say it again. You got that?"
Zavier gulped. Tess never swore when they were fighting. He looked into the rearview mirror and saw hurt and betrayal on Luna's face. His shoulders slumped.
"Guys, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just… I don't know how to handle this and I feel unmoored. I can't view The System anymore so I don't know how to help guide him - us. I am terrified that we're not doing everything we can to prepare you kids and I'm feeling pretty fucking helpless. Every time I get an idea it's evidently the wrong one and I'm a 'shitty dad' for trying to make it work. I feel trapped and I don't have any idea what the hell I'm supposed to do." Tess and Luna jumped when he slammed the palm of his hand against the steering wheel, frustration pouring off of him in waves. "I'm trying to help us all survive and I not only have to fight the world, I have to fight you guys too. Everything I do seems to be the wrong move, even when it works!"
Tess's anger faded and she reached up to run her fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "We're all feeling that way honey, but we can't take it out on the kids."
"That's the thing, though," he looked at her, the frustration still in his eyes. "I don't think I'm taking it out on them! I'm not blaming them. I'm not accusing them of anything. I'm just trying to make them stronger and yet, somehow, it keeps pissing you off and hurting the kids! But the thing is that those feelings are appropriate responses to the old world! What I feel like you guys haven't grasped yet is that those rules don't apply anymore! What was 'too harsh' in the old world is necessary and required here! I feel like I'm the only one adapting to the new way of thinking that's required here!"
Tess pulled her hand back and crossed her arms over her chest, staring back out to the road ahead of them. "Maybe so, Z, maybe so, but we're not dumb. We know what's happening and we're doing pretty damned good preparing for it."
"We THINK we're doing pretty good, but what if we're not? What happens when we meet someone that understood what it took to get strong in this world and didn't shy away from it? Someone that didn't stop to wonder if they were being too hard or going too far? What happens when those people come for us and we're too weak to stop them because of the ethos of a world that died over a month ago?"
"I don't know, Z. I really don't know. But I'm not willing to cause emotional damage to our kids on a 'what if.'"
They both sighed and watched the road for a little longer, Zavier pulling off the interstate and heading for their house.
"I just don't want us to keep fighting about this, Tess," Zavier's voice was weary. "We are on different sides of this and I don't know how we're going to meet in the middle, but I can't stop trying to find ways to make them stronger."
"And I'm not going to stop protecting them, even from us." The 'from you' was clear in her voice and it stabbed Zavier through the heart.
"I have an idea," Luna raised her hand. "How about you let me and Cass make our own damned decisions for a change?"
They didn't even make it all the way to the house when they encountered Cass jogging down the side of the road, looking for all the world like Mad Max. Zavier couldn't help but laugh at the sight and he rolled down his window and whistled. "Hey there sexy, you looking for a ride somewhere?"
Cass hopped into the open door before the SUV had even stopped, his face a mask of shame. "I'm so sorry dad."
Zavier pulled the car to a stop and turned in his seat. "I need to say something and I want to make sure you hear it. All of you," he looked at each in turn. "I know I've been pushing you and trying new things. I'm doing my best to prepare you for this new world we're in and sometimes I don't get it right. These experiments and tests I do, there's no 'pass' or 'fail' with them. This is all new so there's no manual that tells us the right and wrong way to do any of it. Hell, I'm the weakest of all of us and need you all to protect me!"
"I don't expect any of us to be good at this yet - I certainly know I'm not. But as long as we're trying, that's all we can do." He focused in on Cass. "Cass, you are one third of my heart. There has never been a day in your life that you have disappointed me. I've never been ashamed or embarrassed by anything you've done. You and Luna are the two best kids any parents could be lucky enough to have and I can barely look at you without getting choked up because of how much I love you," and indeed, his voice was coming out in cracked phrases. "If you ever, for a single moment, think that you have disappointed me I want you to push those thoughts out of your head immediately because that's impossible. You are my amazing son and I love you more than I love myself. And we both know that I think I'm pretty fucking amazing."
They laughed at that, the tension breaking. "I'm still going to try come up with ideas to push your growth - all of our growths, but you always have the option to tell me no, or to suggest your own ideas. I'm not the ruler of this family, I'm just one of four, okay?"
They all nodded at that and Zavier's heart swelled at the love he saw in Tess's eyes. "But we need to address your new skill," Cass's face dropped at that but Zavier waved it away. "It's a good skill! There's nothing wrong with it, it's going to save your life one day. We're all going to get skills that may or may not be helpful to the family or that may seem weird or inconvenient at first. All we can do is dance with the one we came with and figure out how best to use it. You have to train it as much as you can to get control over it. That goes for all of us."
"But what if I disappear in the middle of the fight? Or when we pull into the zoo again?"
"Well, if it happens, it happens. We'll be okay. But I'm not going to keep driving back and forth and you're not going to try to run all the damned way to the zoo, okay?" He laughed at that and the rest laughed with him. "If it happens just chill at home and wait for us. If it gets too dangerous we'll leave and meet you back at home later, okay?"
Cass nodded and Zavier turned around, putting the car into gear. Tess's hand was back on the back of his head, gently running her fingers through his hair.