1 Piece AU Luffy Charlotte
By: FunahoMisaki
(AN: I own nothing and read last chapter)
"Brat! See you've got yourself a bounty and a hell of a family tree!" Apparently Old man Whitebeard was the one who called first and Luffy was still snickering while he and Robin had been planning on how to prank the marines even more. The rest of the crew was just staring at them in disbelief and horror at some of the ideas they were brainstorming.
"Hey there old man. I just got done talking to my mama's and papas…apparently Mama Smoothie and Papa Shanks are playing this up. They were flirting earlier." Luffy said and there was a loud laugh from Whitebeard at hearing that.
"I'd expect nothing less! But now for a serious question." Whitebeard said and he actually sounded serious and Luffy tensed and got serious as well as he looked intently at the snail. The rest of the crew was tense as well while pressure seemed to be mounting over wondering what this serious question could be.
"Do you think I could pass for Shanks or Smoothie's father? Who do you think the marines are more likely to accept as being my child and have heart attacks over it?" Whitebeard asked and he sounded dead serious while Luffy hummed for a bit.
"That's a tough question. Mama Smoothie has white hair naturally and a lot of pirates forget that your hair wasn't always white but she's also really strong. The biggest parts of that would be that you used to sail with Baa-chan so it's likely that you two could have had a child but neither of you are long leg even if Baa-chan is really tall. Papa Shanks…well no one knows his parentage so it'd be easy for you to slip into the dad role for him and not have anyone catching onto the trick for a while, plus it would make sense to the marines for a Yonko to have a son who is also a Yonko….so probably Papa Shanks would be more believable even if Mama Smoothie would cause more heart attacks." Luffy said and he sounded as if he had seriously contemplated that question before answering and the crew was face palming at what the two of them deemed serious.
"Hm…good point. Now how will we work Kaido into this? You know he and Yamato would be upset if they were left out." Whitebeard asked and Luffy hummed in thought at that again.
"Well I call Uncle Kaido Uncle but he's obviously not related to my Mamas or Papas…if anything he's more closely related to you and Baa-chan since you all used to be on the same crew. Not sure how they would figure Yamato in bu-ohhh did I tell you that Yamato sent me some of their fur from their zoan form! The fur itself will keep me warm when I'm on winter islands but considering which zoan form he has it'll also keep me cool if I'm on a summer or desert island! It's really neat cause it protects me from a bit of fire too!" Luffy said being distracted as he remembered the present Yamato had sent to him and he heard a snort from across the line.
"You know that's a pretty big thing for a zoan to do…most would see it as a courting or mating gift, yoi." Marco said and he sounded amused and Whitebeard began to laugh loudly.
"Eh what's courting or mating mean?" Luffy asked tilting his head to the side naively and making his crew look at him in disbelief but were kind of happy for the brief amount of innocence and naivety he had.
"Don't worry about it Luffy. We need to call Kaido and Linlin and talk about this! But don't be surprised if your crew or the marines start having massive heart attacks! I've got an idea! Gurarararara!" Whitebeard said laughing loudly at the end and making Luffy laugh as well.
"Shishishishi! Okay! Have fun everyone and I'll see you once we're ready for the New World!" Luffy said more than happy to just go along with whatever they were planning in order to mess with the marines and other people. If there's one thing he picked up from his aunts and uncles at Whole Cake Island, and his grandma of course, it was that messing with peoples heads could be funny as hell.
"See you later brat! Don't forget to train those rookies of yours in Haki!" With that the snail was hung up and Luffy hummed to himself as he watched it for a moment. Glancing up at Robin across from him, Luffy smirked and held up five fingers. Slowly putting one down at a time as soon as he put down the last finger the snail began to ring again.
"Hi Uncle Kaido!" Luffy answered immediately and there was loud drunken laughter from across the line, more than one person was laughing too which meant that Kaido was with the rest of his crew or at least the upper ranks.
"Just so you're aware Old Moustache Man will be calling you soon to try and work out your part in terrifying and pranking the masses." Luffy said grinning at the snail who grinned in return.
"Luffy! What part will I have?" A distinctly female voice called across the line although the person used the masculine pronoun.
"Hi Yamato! Not sure yet! Old Man and Baa-chan will probably help figure it out when they call! Old Man was saying some weird things after I mentioned the present you sent me! Something about courting and mating presents or something? Something to do with being a Zoan I think." Luffy said and there was embarrassed spluttering across the line and a bit more laughter.
"Oh my. The young master has already found a mate. This is quite unexpected…" A females voice was saying but they sounded amused.
"Hi Aunt Maria! What's a mate?" Luffy asked and there was choking and spluttering from more than one person on the other end of the phone.
"Don't worry about it son! I approve and I'll see you and explain when you're back in Wano!" Kaido said laughing loudly and there was an embarrassed whine of 'dad' from Yamato.
"Okay then! I'll let you guys go so the line's clear for Baa-chan and Old Man! Have fun terrifying the marines!" Luffy said hanging up the snail and then grinning at Robin as he stood up and stretched.
"We've still got an hour until we reach the island right?" Luffy asked and Nami nodded her head at that when he looked at her.
"Good then we'll get started on your training! Time to teach you all the basics of Haki!"