???:『I guess by now that child, Amue, must have been found by Reinhardt-san, right?』
Subaru:「She was the only left alive in the village that burnt down, right? If a child of that age sees Reinhardt, she'll become relieved and she likely won't be able to be separated from him. ――With this, he won't have time to pursue us.」
???:『How cunning, or rather, how crafty, or....Though, well, I'm not one to talk.』
???:『Tha's righ'. Brotto 'n Captain really do damn get on th' same wavelength at times like these.』
???:「Ewwww」
???:『Y' damn well fit to a T!』
Pushing his way through a thicket using the branch he held in his hand, Subaru, who was following an off-road path, scrunched up his face into a frown. Otto, who was treading through the forest beside him in the same way had a similar expression on his face. And Garfiel, who was looking on at the two of them, clapped his hands together and clacked his fangs, laughing at the situation.
???:『Hehe- But, it's great that we're all together at last, don't you think? It's all thanks to Subaru being reaaaally busy and doing his very best.』
Subaru:「When you say it like that, even I get the feeling that my efforts were worthwhile and it lets me have peace of mind. If you, Emilia-tan, feel like I've done things properly, then I want you to reward me in so many different ways, but…..」
Emilia:『You want that, but?』
Subaru:「...Well, with me being an innocent boy, it means I can't let male instinct do the talking for me.」
Subaru looked at Emilia who had innocuously tilted her head forward. As he scratched his cheeks, Subaru turned his face away from her. A gaze stopped him in his tracks ahead of him; that gaze was Ram's who had turned a look of disdain towards him.
Ram:『Disgusting.』
Subaru:「Cut down in one blow! Generally speaking, I never said that! I want you to praise my feelings since I managed to not say any of my embarrassing desires!」
Ram:『Ram? Praise Barusu? I'd rather heaven and hell be flipped over than do that.』
Subaru:「I'm lower than a cataclysm!?」
Shrugging her shoulders, Ram turned her back from him and began to walk away with grace. Subaru's shoulders stooped down in dejection seeing Ram's attitude. And then a two small hands gently took ahold of his own from his left and right.
???:『Jeez, I can see how glum you look from all the way over here, in fact. If of all people Betty's partner is going to get like this, then I can tell the going ahead is going to get rough, I suppose.』
???:『That's right. Ram nee-sama's always been blunt, it's not like it's something she just started doing now. That's the reason why I'm gonna go easy on Subaru-sama. Good boy, good boy.』
Subaru:「Heyhey, no way, am I in the middle of a little girl sandwich...though now that I think on it, Petra isn't that little anymore. Dammit, time sure is cruel… as it keeps passing by I'll only be left with Beako as a little girl…..」
Beatrice:『Little girl…what do you mean little girl, in fact!? That's impolite for a lady, I suppose!!』
Having graduated from being lolimanced, Petra puffed out her chest in delight, and Beatrice teetered between taking it as a compliment and otherwise. Nonetheless, Beatrice seemed to be a little girl by nature, thus it couldn't be helped.
Subaru:「It seems like the mothers and fathers of the world want their children to stop growing at their cutest age; you're like something out of a dream in that sense, Beako!」
Beatrice:『Hmph…By saying that are you hinting that Betty is the cutest in this world, in fact?』
Subaru:「I'd like to gather candidates for the seat of cutest in this world and make them compete with each other; though, the prettiest in this world is you. I'll try give you a medal.」
Petra:『What about me? Heyhey, Subaru-sama, what about me?』
Subaru:「Hmmm, Petra is the cutiest in this world.」
Petra:『Yaaaay!』
Letting out a cry of mirth, Petra took hold of one of Beatrice's hands and jumped about happily. Whilst being overwhelmed by that vigour, Beatrice also seemed like she wasn't at all in a bad mood.
Towards there――
???:『Well, well, weeeeeell, it seems like you're really in high spirits, doooooesn't it? Putting aside your physical appearance, you should be acting your actual age amongst them, but despite that, this is still raaaaaather adorable, isn't it?』
Beatrice:『Ugh, I suppose...』
Roswaal took a step forward with his long legs, an air of composure rested on his face. Beatrice made an unpleasant face at Roswaal who had made his appearance. Incidentally, Petra, who was holding Beatrice's hand also put on a look of displeasure due to the position of mischief that coated him in her Master's camp. Well, if you think about what he has been guilty of, it was natural though regrettable.
???:『Beatrice-sama, Petra, don't make such unpleasant faces.』
Roswaal:『Indeeeeeeeed, that's Frederica for you. Telling the both of you exactly h...』
Frederica:『Don't you two know that the more you make those faces, the more you're just going to cause Master to be pleased, right? Since Master's that kind of gentleman.』
Roswaal:『I take baaaaaack what I said.』
Roswaal lost his composure too on receiving Frederica's sharp blow.
On the other side, both Petra and Beatrice obediently accepted Frederica's words with an「Oookay」and an「All right, in fact.」
Subaru:「...Well, I also feel like y'all are too fussy, but I guess this fuss is a page of everyday life, right?」
???:『It doesn't matter if it's a page of everyday life, but please, aren't you forgetting about me and Miss Meili?』
Subaru:「Mhm...」
A little apart from the Emilia camp who were chiding each other as they walked, Julius who was walking behind them, spoke that out. Closing one of his eyes, he reflected Subaru in his yellow eye and said,
Julius:『Though, do you take pride in that my advice was helpful for you when facing Reinhardt?』
Subaru:「I ain't saying it wasn't helpful, but your evaluation of Reinhardt makes him look a bit like a Dream Guy, so its credibility can be shaky. You mustn't go getting yourself too caught up in your hero syndrome.」
Julius:『That's not an answer which'll help you borrow my strength. Maybe I should change my attitude a bit from now?』
???:『Heeeeyhey, sayin' it like that's no good, Julius. Should I draw up a propa' loan for Natsuki-kun instead? It should work well enough even without a contract.』
With a tit-for-tat reply said in a gentle tone, Anastasia broke her way into Subaru and Julius' exchange, which was prone to break into a full blown argument if it went on like that.
Anastasia, having completely regained her merchant-like attitude, stared at Subaru with her turquoise eyes and after causing him to blanch a little, she said:
Anastasia:『Natsuki-kun, arentcha forgetting? If we cooperate wit' each other well, then Natsuki-kun, when you get back to normal, you'll….. 』
Subaru:「――Aah, I remember. If I get『Natsuki Subaru』back and go back to the time where I can restore everything properly, then」
Cutting his words there, Subaru took a deep breath and continued.
Subaru:「Then finally, I can take the time to atone to everyone whom I've killed.」
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
Bringing himself closer to completion, and if the patching was completed this time around.
If his patching could be patched together as he was originally, then surely.
――Then surely, there was no doubt that he could do everything over again.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
――『Natsuki Subaru』had the power to redo fate.
That was Natsuki Subaru's conclusion.
He could get back the lives of Emilia, Beatrice, Ram, Julius, Meili, Petra, Frederica, Roswaal, Rom-ji, Garfiel, Otto, Anastasia, Ricardo, Hetaro, Tivey, Mimi, Kiritaka and Liliana.
It should be possible, if he was『Natsuki Subaru』
Because,『Natsuki Subaru』was――
『My esteemed knight.』『Betty's partner, I suppose.』『A man with only good timing.』『A good friend, I'd think.』『We~ll, maybe it's alright if I appreciate him a li~ttle.』『It felt like I could always give my best thanks to Subaru!』『I am grateful for the many times Subaru-sama has saved us.』『Subaru-kun, I've been waiting eagerly for you for many many years….』『Never for a second did I think that such a rookie could do all this.』『Captain! Y'can talk to me whenever if there's 'ny problem! I'll do anythin' 'f it's somethin' I can use my strength for!』『Well, I find it scary that the consequences of repaying my debt come back to bite me, so I would like you to take things in moderation though.』『Mhhhm, busyin' yourself is quite good y'know. Me, Mimi and the others should try'n loosen up a lil' bit more.』『Oh, ain't that a good change Ana-bo's proposin'! Aye Aye, we 'been workin' too much! A buncha days off would hit the spot!』『If Miss takes some time off, I'll start dishing out the work….』『When we get Natsuki-san to help out, Miss will make sure to try get the best out of him.』『Ooo, you're right! I getcha I getcha! Mimi too, Mimi too! Mimi will do her very best with Garf!』『So I can pay my debt of gratitude to you for saving the city... is something I cannot say so easily if we consider what happened to it afterwards, but…』『You're kiiidding right? Could it be that Kiritaka-san you're holding this grudge a bit tooo much? Becausebecause, if Natsuki Subaru-sama goes completely back to normal, then everything will go back to how it was, wouldn't it!』
With the strength of that of raging billows, the companions that surrounded Subaru listed their expectations in『Natsuki Subaru.』
Subaru nodded as he listened to it, feeling like he was intruding on other people's affairs.
Subaru:「Aah, that's right. That's right indeed. Even though it's quite impossible for me, even though it was impossible, I will.」
???:『If it's you, Subaru, you can do it, right?』
Subaru:「Surely I will….. No, I absolutely will, don't you think?」
Subaru declared that with his fist clenched tight, and cheers ran out from his companions. As he basked in the din before him, suddenly, Emilia approached him. Subaru raised his eyebrows at her.
She gently beckoned Subaru, and then, she pointed her finger towards somewhere a little apart from the circle of their companions. The one who stood where her white finger had pointed to was――
Emilia:『――Shaula… she looks lonely. That's dreadful, Subaru. She looks so pitiful, doesn't she?』
Subaru:「She's...」
Emilia:『Don't give excuses. All of us absolutely want to try and do our best in any way we can with Subaru, but, the one who is doing their best would first of all be Subaru, and then wouldn't it be Shaula? So...』
Subaru:「――――」
Emilia:『So, you have to take good care of her. ――Promise.』
What Emilia spoke to Subaru, a promise, was something which held really really great significance between the two of them. ――No, as a matter of fact, as Subaru wasn't『Natsuki Subaru』he didn't understand how『Natsuki Subaru』regarded the weight of it.
But, even if he didn't understand『Natsuki Subaru』, he understood the trust Emilia had when she tried to make promises with『Natsuki Subaru』all too painfully.
Subaru:「...All right. I promise.」
Emilia:『Mhm, perfect. ――Well then, I'll see you later, Subaru.』
Saying that, Emilia waved goodbye to him as she smiled.
And immediately after Subaru recognised that, the many figures of his companions that appeared from his ever cloudening left eye's field of view completely vanished. After that, everything went still, no one was there. A stillness that felt like it cut off everything but Subaru was left behind.
The one whom he had made the promise with wasn't there anymore, let alone the vestiges of the promise he had shared.
Subaru:「――Shaula, come here.」
Tossing aside those desiccated thoughts, Subaru called out to Shaula, who was walking in the distance. Hearing that call, Shaula's face suddenly lit up and she leaped up and came rushing over to where Subaru was.
Shaula:「Wassssup, Master! Hm, has your fun-time where you're off grumbling to yourself as if you're having fun finished!?」
Subaru:「Don't you go saying it so damn straight! You don't have to say it like you're talking to a loony, there's no damn need to be so hurtful!」
Shaula:「My baaad!」
Slapping the top of her forehead with her palm, Shaula took back what she said all the while sticking out her tongue. Was she apologising? It didn't feel like an apology, but, well, it was close enough.
In any case, Shaula, who had kept accompanying Subaru all the way here from the tower of sand―― Certainly, the main contributor towards Subaru's aims was this woman, and not just because of what Emilia had said.
He borrowed ideas, knowledge and wisdom from his many companions in drafting a course of action and plans. But, what was needed for that each time was the power to carry those things out; to put it more simply, he needed fighting strength.
Shaula's presence was indispensable in order to make those possible. Even so, Subaru had done almost nothing to reward her.
It felt like she was just a well he could always draw water from whenever he needed it.
It was as if she was saying he could do anything no matter what it was, if it was him, who wasn't 『Natsuki Subaru』
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「Master?」
Without thinking, Shaula questioningly tilted her head at Subaru, who had sunk into silence. Long black hair slowly cascaded down her pale, bare shoulders.
As he paid attention to that, Subaru gulped and set his thoughts straight,
Subaru:「Shaula. What is it that you want to do in the end?」
Shaula:「Mhm~ What do you mean?」
Subaru:「I don't mean anything! You must understand what my aim is, right?」
Until just before, he had disregarded any thoughts that related to how he would reward Shaula. Were you to pay attention to him, you'd notice that Subaru had begun to speak in a manner that showed traces of rudeness.
To those words, Shaula frowned, and her face showed no traces that she had understood what Subaru had said. She brought her frown-adorned face closer, and as a result of that, Subaru held her back by placing his palm on her forehead.
And as he held her back,
Subaru:「I kill everyone who knows me, and I read their『Books of the Dead.』If I wipe out everyone who knows me, then the last one would be you. After that, I'll end up reading your book, and yet….」
Subaru lacked the most importants parts of himself by a mile and wasn't able to fill in that gaping hole with his own strength. Subaru had no choice but to build『Natsuki Subaru』up little by little by collecting all the scraps of『Natsuki Subaru』from every single people who knew『Natsuki Subaru』and patching them into his original form.
In its completed form, it would contain all the memories of those who were familiar with『Natsuki Subaru.』Like Emilia, Beatrice, and so on; Shaula was no exception either.
That's why he had promised Reinhardt that he'd kill him someday as well.
She kept openly smiling in front of Subaru's eyes. She kept helping Subaru in his objective without any hesitation. She kept interacting with her carefree attitude. And he had to kill her.
Subaru:「And yet, you accompany me? Shaula」
Shaula:「Are you worried about meeee? Is it because you love me?」
Subaru:「――. Don't joke about. I'm asking you seriously.」
Shaula's answer to the sincere question he had asked was in the same tone as usual. And since that had gotten on Subaru's nerves, he repeated his question again a little more crudely.
But, after receiving his words, Shaula called back to him with a:「Master」
Shaula:「I'm really not joking about. Since being loved by Master is the meaning of my life. So, that's what matters the moossst.」
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「If Master loves meeee, then you may make use of me as much as you like. My life is Master's property. Being used as much as you like, Master…. that is what I desire.」
Still in her usual tone, still with her clingy attitude which had to be bluntly brushed off, still giving off a rather flippant vibe where it couldn't be distinguished if she was being serious or joking about, Shaula ran her hands down her ample breasts.
She ran them down and then turned her dark eyes to look at Subaru before giving him a weak smile.
What was shown there in her sincerity was an attitude that she lived her life earnestly, never ever lying. Shaula always spoke seriously. ――And since she did, she had no need to lie.
Shaula:「You may use meee as much as you like until I come to a miserable end. In exchange, I want you to love meee, and I want you to cry for meeee if I die. Since I'm really, I'm really just… I'm really just satisfied with that.」
Subaru:「...Why do you devote so much of yourself to me like that? It has to because I'm『Natsuki Subaru』」
Shaula:「That's not why.」
Subaru:「――――」
Shaula:「Master is Master; I don't care about anything else. I just love wanting to love so that I want to love the one that I want to love. And, if that person loves me back, well, that'd be perfect. Am I speaking weirdly?」
Shaula tilted her head; it seemed like she didn't hold a single doubt in what she'd said. Seeing that, Subaru let out a small「Hah.」 And soon enough what had been just a small snort of laughter steadily caused his throat to squeeze up into laughter.
Subaru laughed.
He didn't laugh as either『Natsuki Subaru』or the play-acted version of『Natsuki Subaru』he put on in front of Emilia and the others. This time he laughed as the hollow Natsuki Subaru that had forgotten everything about his life in another world.
Subaru:「Ahhh, god damn, don't you guys... don't you people go fucking worrying about my damn self-discovery… Damn idiots.」
Shaula:「Huh!? Master, no way, did you get mad!? Did I say something weird!? Could it be that Monday, Thursday and Fridays are the days which all the burnable trash is thrown away!?」
Subaru:「I ain't angry. I'm just amazed. I'm amazed, and ah, I'm damn speechless.」
Letting out a long sigh, Subaru slightly shook his head and started to walk. Shaula, looking rather unlike her usual self, timidly watched over Subaru's back.
Subaru gave yet another long sigh seeing the stubbornness in her gaze.
Subaru:「You can do what you want, so, get yourself over here quickly.」
Shaula:「If I can do what I want… then, maybe you won't get angry if I cling onto your arm, right?」
Subaru:「I guess so if you ain't gonna cling on with your whole body weight.」
In an instant, Shaula's face lit up and with a leap she wrapped Subaru's arms around her chest. Even though usually it would have been a rough experience, only when it came to touching Subaru did Shaula tone down her strength.
It was like she was handling something fragile and important and trying not to break it.
Subaru hated that Shaula would flirt with him――No, he disliked it. Her affection made him uncomfortable.
The one which Shaula wanted to be affectionate to was『Natsuki Subaru.』And, since everybody thought that they didn't care or hold any interest in Natsuki Subaru, other than『Natsuki Subaru』
Shaula:「Master, Master~」
Subaru:「Hm?」
Shaula:「I love youuu Master. Love is Over.」
TL Note: Another one of Shaula's pop culture references. References this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxaED86s3L0
Subaru:「I see. I don't love you though.」
Shaula:「Guaaaaa! M-Master's so mean….」
Subaru:「But.」
Shaula:「But?」
Subaru:「...After you kill Reinhardt, I will kill you last. I, who am not『Natsuki Subaru』will kill you last. That is what I will do for you.」
Shaula:「――――」
Subaru:「That's all I will promise」
Shaula:「Ah, aahah, ahahahah! Master, Master… really? I'll be last? Am I gonna be Master's last woman?」
Subaru:「When you say it like that, it makes me want to break that promise already.」
Shaula:「Ehh~! No! It's a promise! It was definitely, definitely a promise!」
Subaru:「I was joking.」
Shaula:「Eeeeeh!? A joke? Which part was a joke!? Master, Master~!」
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.
Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, and continuing towards bringing himself closer to completion.
Patching together, patching together, patching together, there's too much to be patched together. Even if he kept patching it together so that the original form became unrecognisable, he could still patch together a new one.
Patching together, and continuing to live on.
Patching together, and continuing to live on.
Until the day comes where he would die, he would continue to patch it together, and live on――
『Patching Together a Life in Another World From Zero』F I N