Konata, still in her Ectonurite form, glided silently through the sprawling halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The dim glow of chandeliers cast flickering shadows on the ornate walls, and she kept herself cloaked in invisibility to avoid the fairy maids bustling about. Their frilly aprons swished as they carried trays or dusted furniture, blissfully unaware of her presence.
"Ugh, why are these halls so endless?" Konata muttered under her breath, her spectral form weaving between two maids. "And why are these maids so bad at their jobs? That dust bunny's been there for, like, forever."
Her mission was to find the mansion's boss, but the labyrinthine corridors were proving a challenge. Growing impatient, she phased through a heavy oak door, emerging into a grand library. Towering shelves loomed overhead, crammed with ancient tomes, their leather spines glinting faintly in the candlelight. At a polished mahogany desk sat a woman Konata assumed was Patchouli Knowledge, her lavender nightgown flowing softly, accentuating her composed elegance. A red-haired succubus assistant, her bat-like wings folded neatly, sorted books in the background, humming a quiet tune.
Konata drifted closer, intrigued by Patchouli. But before she could get a better look, Patchouli's violet eyes snapped up, locking onto Konata's invisible form. In a flash, Patchouli raised a hand, murmuring an incantation. Ethereal chains materialized, ripping away Konata's invisibility and binding her in midair.
"What the—?!" Konata yelped, struggling against the glowing restraints.
"I sensed a spirit spying on me," Patchouli said, her voice calm but edged with authority. She closed her book with a soft thud and stood, her nightgown swaying. "I don't know how you slipped past the mansion's wards, but I'll exorcise you myself."
Konata's mind raced. 'Of course, Patchy's a master mage. Probably sniffed me out with some arcane sixth sense.' She smirked, undeterred. "Gotta say, you're kinda cute when you're all serious like that."
Patchouli's brow twitched, but before she could retort, Konata's form dissolved into a cascade of sand, slipping through the chains like water through a sieve. Taking a page from Marvel's Sandman, she reformed into a massive, sandy fist, smashing through the library door with a splintering crash. Sand swirled as she slithered down the hall, leaving a faint trail of dust.
Patchouli floated after her, her nightgown billowing like a ghostly sail. "A shapeshifter," she murmured, her eyes narrowing with scholarly curiosity. "A slippery one at that."
Rounding a corner, Patchouli nearly collided with Sakuya Izayoi, the head maid, her silver hair gleaming under the chandelier's light. Her pristine maid outfit was as sharp as her demeanor, though her eyes softened slightly upon seeing Patchouli.
"Lady Patchouli, is something wrong?" Sakuya asked, her hand resting near the knives hidden in her apron.
"Have you seen a pile of sand moving through the halls?" Patchouli asked, brushing a stray lock of lavender hair from her face. "A shapeshifter has infiltrated the mansion."
Sakuya's expression hardened. "No, but I'll keep watch. No intruder escapes me."
As they turned to continue, a second Sakuya stepped into view from an adjacent corridor. Her identical silver hair and maid outfit mirrored the first perfectly. Both Sakuyas froze, their eyes locking in mutual suspicion.
"Imposter!" they shouted in unison, pointing at each other.
Patchouli's gaze darted between them, her mind racing. "Perhaps the intruder can't mimic our abilities," she said, testing a theory. "Sakuya, use your time manipulation."
Both Sakuyas nodded, and the world stilled as time froze. The chandeliers' flames halted mid-flicker, and the distant clatter of fairy maids ceased. Yet both Sakuyas moved within the frozen moment, their eyes widening in shock as they realized the other could too.
Time resumed with a subtle pop, and both turned to Patchouli, exclaiming, "She can use my power!"
Patchouli pinched the bridge of her nose, a mix of frustration and fascination flickering across her face. "Troublesome… but intriguing. How does this intruder replicate such complex abilities?"
Before she could ponder further, the Sakuya to her right smirked mischievously, reached out, and slapped Patchouli's butt with a playful smack. Patchouli yelped, her cheeks flushing as the fake Sakuya giggled and sprinted down the hall.
"After her!" the real Sakuya barked, drawing her knives with lethal precision.
The fake Sakuya—Konata—morphed mid-stride into Gold Ship, a spirited horse girl. Her long hair streamed behind her as she raced down the corridor. Fireballs from Patchouli and daggers from Sakuya whizzed past, singeing the air and embedding into the walls, but Konata dodged with equine agility, laughing all the way.
The chase led them to the foyer where they bump into Meiling. Sakuya, mistaking her for another imposter, tackled her to the ground.
"Wait, what's this?!" Meiling sputtered, pinned beneath Sakuya's weight.
"We've got you, faker!" Sakuya snapped, her knives glinting.
"I'm not a fake!" Meiling protested, her voice muffled. "I came inside to warn you about a shapeshifter who slipped past me at the gate!"
Patchouli, catching her breath, studied Meiling. "How do we know you're the real Meiling?"
Before Meiling could answer, silken webs shot from above, ensnaring all three in sticky, shimmering strands. They looked up to see Konata, now an Arachne with a sleek, spider-like lower body, crawling across the ceiling. Her eight legs clicked softly, and she grinned down at them, her eyes glinting with mischief.
"You three look delicious tied up like little flies," Konata teased, her voice dripping with playful malice. "Especially you, Sakuya. Bondage really suits you."
Patchouli's eyes narrowed, and with a flick of her wrist, she summoned a gust of pressurized wind. The air howled, slicing through the webbing like a blade. The trio collapsed in a heap, strings falling around them like cut puppet threads. Konata, still chuckling, skittered down a side corridor before they could regain their bearings.
Scrambling to their feet, the three pursued her, their footsteps echoing through the mansion's halls. Their chase led them to barge through a set of double doors—straight into Remilia Scarlet's bedroom. The vampire mistress stood in the center, adjusting the frills of her pale blue dress, her bat-like wings twitching in irritation.
"Wah! What are you three doing?!" Remilia snapped, her crimson eyes flashing. "I was getting dressed!"
"Apologies, Mistress," Sakuya said, bowing hastily. "A shapeshifter has infiltrated the mansion."
Remilia's scowl softened into a sly smirk. "Oh, I know," she said, stepping forward. Before anyone could react, she playfully slapped Sakuya's butt, then dissolved into a swarm of squeaking hamsters. The tiny creatures scurried under the door, leaving the group stunned.
"That little—" Patchouli growled, her composure cracking as she dusted off her nightgown.
Sakuya's face burned with a mix of anger and embarrassment, but she rallied, attempting to use her time manipulation again. The hamster swarm morphed into a dozen miniature Sakuyas, each mimicking her ability to move through stopped time, countering her power with eerie precision.
The chase resumed, leading them to a grand hall where they spotted another Remilia. Meiling, determined to redeem herself, lunged and caught her in a full Nelson.
"Gotcha!" Meiling declared triumphantly.
"Meiling, what are you doing?!" Remilia shrieked, struggling in her grip.
Sakuya placed a hand on Meiling's shoulder. "Meiling, I believe this is the real Remilia."
Meiling's eyes widened, and she gently set Remilia down, scratching the back of her head. "S-Sorry, Mistress."
"What is happening?!" Remilia demanded, smoothing her dress with exaggerated indignation.
Patchouli stepped forward, her voice steady despite the chaos. "A shapeshifter has infiltrated the mansion, Mistress. They can mimic our appearances and our abilities, which makes them… difficult to pin down."
Before Remilia could respond, two Flandre Scarlets skipped into the hall, giggling as they chased each other in a playful game of tag. Their blonde hair bounced, and their crystalline wings shimmered under the chandelier's light.
"Flandre!" Remilia barked. "Why are you out here? And get away from that imposter!"
The first Flandre pouted, crossing her arms. "But, Sis, they're fun! They can look like anyone. It's super cool!"
The second Flandre giggled, then clenched her fist. With a crackle of destructive energy, the chandelier above shattered, plunging the hall into darkness. Shadows danced as the group tensed, muffled sounds of a struggle echoing in the gloom. Patchouli quickly conjured a floating orb of fire, its warm glow revealing only the five of them standing in the hall.
Patchouli's eyes scanned the group, her mind racing. "There's no sign they left the room. They've likely incapacitated one of us and are posing as them."
Remilia's wings twitched, her gaze sharp. "So, there's… an imposter among us. The question is, how do we find the fake?"
Flandre clapped her hands, her crystalline wings shimmering with excitement. "Ooo! Let's play a game to find the imposter! We'll ask questions only the real ones would know. I'll go first!"
She spun toward Remilia. "Okay, Sis! When's my birthday?"
Remilia's lips curved into a confident smile, her crimson eyes glinting in the firelight of Patchouli's conjured orb. "July 4th. You always call it 'Flandre Day' and demand extra cake."
Satisfied, Flandre nodded, and Remilia turned to Sakuya. "Sakuya, what's my favorite food?"
Sakuya stood poised, her silver hair catching the flickering light as she answered smoothly, "You prefer Type B blood mixed into your meals, especially your tea and desserts, Mistress."
Sakuya's gaze shifted to Patchouli, who was still brushing dust from her nightgown. "Lady Patchouli, what was my occupation before I became a maid for Mistress Remilia?"
Patchouli frowned, tapping a finger against her chin. "A… vampire hunter, perhaps? Honestly, I don't recall the details."
"Ha!" Meiling pointed triumphantly, her red braid swinging. "That's proof you're the fake!"
Patchouli's eyes narrowed, her voice sharp with indignation. "Don't be absurd, Meiling! I'm not expected to remember every trivial detail about coworkers I've known for decades. I'm a scholar, not a biographer!"
Flandre's wings fluttered as she chimed in, her voice teasing. "What if Meiling's the fake? That was a pretty suspicious call-out!"
"Oh yeah?" Meiling shot back, planting her hands on her hips. "Maybe it's you, Flan, stirring up trouble!"
The hall erupted into a cacophony of accusations, voices overlapping as fingers pointed in every direction. Remilia's patience snapped, and she raised a hand, her voice cutting through the chaos like a blade. "SILENCE!"
The group froze, the echo of her shout lingering in the cavernous hall. Remilia took a deep breath, smoothing her dress with deliberate calm. "Do we even know why this imposter is here?"
Meiling coughed, her cheeks flushing as she shuffled her feet. "W-Well, I… met them at the gate. They, uh, flirted with me. Said they wanted to take me on a date and… maybe convince you to let me go out with them?"
The group fell silent, stunned. Remilia's eyes widened. "So, this intruder broke into my mansion, bypassed the wards, and caused all this chaos… to ask me for permission to date my gatekeeper?"
"Pretty much!" a voice chirped from Patchouli's direction. Before anyone could react, "Patchouli" morphed, her form melting like wax to reveal Konata back in her default human appearance, her dark blue hair cascading past her shoulders and mischievous green eyes sparkling with amusement. "Though, I gotta admit, I got carried away messing with you all. You're just too fun!"
Sakuya's knives were out in an instant, their edges glinting as she pointed them at Konata. Remilia's hands glowed with scarlet energy, ready to unleash her own attack.
Konata raised her hands, grinning smugly. "Whoa, whoa, no need to get stabby! Is this about that little slap on the ass, Sakuya? In my defense, it was just too perfect an opportunity."
Before Sakuya could turn her into a pincushion, Flandre bounced forward, her eyes wide with delight. "Remi, can I keep her? She's the perfect friend! She can turn into all sorts of stuff to play with me!"
Remilia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Flandre, we are not keeping this troublemaking… whatever she is."
Flandre pouted, crossing her arms. "But you have a pet chupacabra! Why can't I have a pet too?"
Konata turned to Flandre, leaning in conspiratorially. "Only if you promise to feed me and take me on walks."
She turned to Remilia, her grin softening into a playful plea. "So, how about it, Mistress of the Mansion? Let me take Meiling out for a little date, and maybe I can hang with Flandre now and then. She could use a friend who doesn't break easily, right?"
Remilia's glare could have melted steel, but she paused, her wings stilling as she considered the proposal. After a long moment, she exhaled sharply. "…Fine."
Sakuya's knives faltered, her voice laced with disbelief. "Mistress?"
Meiling blinked, her face reddening. "Wait, what—?"
Remilia raised a hand to silence them, her tone firm but tinged with reluctant amusement. "This… chimera has proven herself unique, to say the least. And Flandre could use a playmate who can keep up with her. But," she added, fixing Konata with a piercing stare, "Sakuya will be watching you closely. One misstep, and you're done."
Sakuya's eyes burned with barely restrained irritation, but she lowered her knives. "Very well, Mistress," she said, her voice tight.
Konata pumped her fist, practically vibrating with excitement. "Sweet! It's a deal!" She grabbed Meiling's hand, ignoring the gatekeeper's flustered stammering. "Come on, Meiling, I'm taking you somewhere nice!"
Meiling's blush deepened as she stumbled after Konata, her protests drowned out by the shapeshifter's enthusiastic chatter. Flandre clapped and bounced on her heels, her wings fluttering. "Yay! I got my own pet now!"
Remilia shook her head, a weary sigh escaping her lips as she watched Konata drag Meiling out of the hall. She also heard a nearby closet open as Patchouli finally got out of some webbing she was trapped in. Standing quietly, Patchy muttered, "I need a cup of tea after this…"