New power surged through every inch of my body, an intoxicating sensation I had never felt on Earth. My Strangeness Points were now 94, and I felt as if I could smash a rock with one punch, or perhaps... kick that giant rabbit to the bottom of the abyss with one mighty kick! A wide smile, unable to be suppressed, was etched on this "beautiful" face. This was a strange beginning, but it was my beginning as a cultivator.
I walked around the cave with lighter steps and newfound confidence. The golden light from the Golden Dragon Spiritual Pool still emanated, illuminating the cave walls that now appeared more alive, as if every crack held a secret. The Sky Essence Ice Flower still shimmered blue in its corner, emitting a captivating pure aura, a living gem amidst the darkness. I approached the flower again, this time with greater respect, admiring its dangerous beauty.
"So, this is what it feels like to be a cultivator," I mumbled to myself, my voice faintly echoing. "This spiritual energy... it's truly amazing." I clenched my fist, feeling Qi pulsate in my palm. I decided to test my new strength. My eyes fixed on a small stone lying on the cave floor. I swung my leg, trying to kick it.
Whoosh!
The stone shot out like a bullet, hitting the cave wall with a loud "Thud!", leaving a small crack. I gasped, my eyes wide. This... this is my strength?! I just kicked normally, but the result was like a professional athlete's kick!
[Detection: User successfully tested increased physical strength. Gathering Strangeness Points from pleasant surprise...]
[+5 Strangeness Points.]
"Amazing!" I exclaimed, a mix of amused and proud laughter escaping my lips, "Ha... ha... ha!" My Strangeness Points were now 99. "So, I'm not just cultivating, I'm also getting physically stronger! This is like getting a cheat code in the real world!"
Grrrrummm... GRRRRUMMMMM!
The dragon's rumble sounded again, this time much closer, heavier, and more threatening. The sound was no longer a background hum, but a roar that shook the entire cave to its foundations, making rocks tremble and dust fall from the ceiling. The air around me suddenly felt heavy, as if an invisible pressure was weighing down. I immediately tensed, all my excitement evaporating, replaced by a cold fear, much deeper than before. The dragon! It's here!
I stared at the mouth of the cave. The darkness there now looked like a portal to hell. A giant shadow began to form at the cave's entrance, blocking the faint dawn light. An overwhelming aura of pressure swept in, making it difficult for me to breathe. My heart pounded, thump-thump-thump! beating against my ribs as if wanting to leap out.
Scratch! Scratch!
Heavy footsteps, each step feeling like a small earthquake, approached. And then, it appeared.
A colossal creature, with shimmering golden scales even in the cave's darkness, and blazing red eyes that radiated ancient wrath. Its horns curved sharply backward, and thin smoke curled from its nostrils. It was the Golden Dragon, the Guardian of one of the Four Directions, now standing before me, filling almost the entire cave mouth. Its size was so massive, as if the mountain itself had come alive and was staring at me.
As the Golden Dragon fully emerged, the aura of wrath it emitted felt so dense, as if the air around me solidified into molten lead. The moss on the cave walls suddenly withered, ice crystals in the rock crevices cracked with a "Crack!" sound, and even the light from the Golden Dragon Spiritual Pool seemed to dim slightly under the pressure of its anger. I felt like an ant before an enraged deity. My legs trembled uncontrollably, and I almost fell to my knees, feeling my knees weak and powerless.
"Lowly mortal!" The Golden Dragon's voice, the Roar of Heavenly Thunder, boomed, not just in my ears, but directly in my mind, as if thousands of thunders exploded simultaneously, shattering every cell in my brain. "I am the Eastern Sovereign, Huanglong Zun! Never have I, Huanglong Zun, been so insulted! My Sacred Pool defiled by a lowly mortal like you who dared to absorb its essence without permission! You shall pay the price for your arrogance, mortal!"
"W-wait! Dragon... Your Excellency Dragon!" I tried to speak, my voice trembling violently, barely coming out, my throat choked with fear. I extended a hand, a desperate gesture to calm this legendary creature. "I... I didn't mean to disturb! I just... got lost! Believe me, I don't even know how I got here! Chewing gum... it's all the chewing gum's fault! I promise I'll leave, I won't disturb you again, I'll disappear from your sight like dust!"
"Silence!" The dragon's roar cut off my words, louder than before, making me flinch backward, my body shaking violently. "Lowly excuses! Your very existence is an insult! You dare to lie before a Guardian?! Receive your punishment!"
The Golden Dragon merely snorted, a sound like thunder rolling within the earth's belly. Its blazing red eyes narrowed, and its aura of wrath burned even brighter, as if hellfire would erupt from them. It raised one of its massive front claws, its scales scraping with a "Clank! Clank!" sound on the cave floor, creating a deafening noise.
ROOOOAAARRRR!
A deafening roar exploded from the dragon's throat, shaking the entire cave to its foundations. From its mouth, not fire, but a wave of dense, pure spiritual energy, dark golden in color, shot towards me. It was the Guardian Dragon Technique: Qi Annihilation Wave! The wave traveled with unimaginable speed, cleaving the air, radiating an aura of absolute destruction. I had no time to react.
Thud!
My body was thrown backward with brutal force, hitting the cave wall with a sickening "Crash!". Excruciating pain spread throughout my body, as if every bone was crushed to dust, every nerve burned by the impacting energy. I coughed, blood gushing from my mouth, staining my coarse robe with thick dark red stains. My vision blurred, and I felt a familiar cold sensation creeping over me, the chill of approaching death.
Die... again?
A flash of memory crossed my mind, faster than lightning. Mei Lin's face rejecting me, the chewing gum stuck in my throat, the ambulance siren, and my father's suppressed laughter. That ridiculous, embarrassing death. And now, I would die again, before a legendary dragon, after dying ridiculously on Earth. My destiny truly was an endless, tragic joke!
It was at that moment that a strange feeling surged from within me. Not just fear, not just overwhelming pain that made me want to scream, but boiling anger, burning despair, and an absolute rejection of this fate. My heart felt like a volcano wanting to erupt, hot lava flowing furiously through every vein, evaporating all other emotions into pure steam of wrath. I can't be like this! I refuse! I will not die ridiculously again!
I, Chen Ming, who couldn't even be Mei Lin's lover, clearly couldn't do anything against a creature like this. This wasn't an ordinary dragon, not an ordinary monster. This was the Golden Dragon, one of the Four Directions, the guardian of the world's balance! My newfound power from the spiritual pool felt like dust before it. I would just die again, in a more epic yet still ridiculous way.
Tears of frustration and anger flowed down my "beautiful" cheeks, mixing with drying blood, creating red streaks on my pale skin. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my blood-stained palms, feeling a faint but real pain.
Shaolin... A whisper suddenly appeared in my mind, not from the System, but from the depths of my own memory. Mei Lin...
Another flash: I, the nerdy Chen Ming, in front of a computer monitor, watching an old kung fu movie. Then, I was in a cramped dojo, sweating, awkwardly swinging my legs and arms. Why? Because Mei Lin once said, "Guys who can do kung fu are cool, they can protect the ones they care about." I learned basic Shaolin Kung Fu, not to fight, but to look "cool" in Mei Lin's eyes, to be a hero for her. A ridiculous motivation, but that's what drove me. And now, at the brink of death, that memory returned.
"System!" I screamed inwardly, my voice filled with burning anger and despair, an unheard soul-scream that shook my very being to its core. "I can't be like this! I don't want to die again! Please, System! Lend me your strength! I need power! NOW! Give me the power to fight this damned fate!"
The silence of the cave felt deafening, only my ragged breathing and the approaching dragon's rumble could be heard. Would the System respond? Was there any hope? Or was this truly the end of my absurd adventure, to be remembered as the funniest death in two worlds?
[Ding! Detection: User's Strong Will reached threshold. Activating System Emergency Mode.]
[Warning: Emergency Mode will drastically drain Strangeness Points. Risk: Extreme Qi exhaustion, temporary meridian damage.]
[Gathering Strangeness Points for Emergency Mode activation...]
[-50 Strangeness Points.]
[Emergency Mode Active! Channeling Strangeness Energy to User!]
Instantly, a strange sensation, like a cold electric wave, swept through my entire body. The pain from the dragon's attack suddenly subsided, replaced by a strange numbness. My eyes, which had been blurry, now opened wide, and a dazzling white light emanated from my pupils, illuminating the entire cave with an almost blinding flash. The light did not originate from this world, but from a much higher realm, as if the deity itself had awakened within me. My "beautiful" face now radiated an astonishing sacred aura, yet also full of burning determination.
Grrrrummm!
Outside the cave, on Golden Dragon Peak, the aura of spiritual energy exploding from within the cave felt so strong that it pierced through the mist. The sky, which had been clear, suddenly churned, clouds swirling into a giant vortex above the peak. Ancient trees on the mountain slopes creaked, some even falling with a "Thud!" due to the unbearable energy pressure.
Far away on the Tian Xuan Continent, on the peak of Sky Sword Mountain, inside a sect hall shrouded in clouds, an old man with long white hair, the Sect Master of Eternal Sky, who was meditating on a jade stone cushion, suddenly opened his eyes. His sharp eyes radiated a flash of golden light.
"What is this aura?!" he mumbled, his voice trembling. "Golden Dragon energy! And... there's another very strange aura, mixed with it! An aura I've never felt before! This... this is from Golden Dragon Peak! Huanglong Zun's Roar of Heavenly Thunder... it even reached here!"
In Hidden Flower Valley, an elegant woman in a green silk dress, the Mistress of Jade Flower Valley, who was tending to rare spiritual flowers, suddenly tensed. The petals of the flower in her hand withered instantly. She looked up at the sky, her eyes radiating worry.
"This vibration... Huanglong Zun's power is raging! But... there's an unexpected aura of chaos mixed with it. Who dares to provoke the Guardian? And that strange aura... what is it? His Roar of Heavenly Thunder is so strong it's disturbing the Qi flow in my valley!"
Back in the cave, my body felt like a vessel forced to contain too much energy. My Strangeness Points had been drastically drained, but in return, a power I had never imagined flowed within me. I didn't know how long this effect would last, or what the consequences would be. But right now, I had a chance.
The Golden Dragon lowered its claw, ready to strike me. Its eyes radiated triumph.
"Die, mortal!" Its Roar of Heavenly Thunder vibrated throughout the cave.
However, a faint smile, full of resignation yet also madness, was etched on my "beautiful" and now glowing face. I raised my trembling hand, but it was now filled with strange energy. This was not ordinary cultivation power. This was power derived from absurdity, from the strangeness of my destiny, and also... from Shaolin kung fu.
"Forgive me, Your Excellency Dragon Huanglong Zun," I whispered, my voice somehow clear and calm, even amidst the dragon's roar. "But... I will not die ridiculously for the third time! And this time, I'll use something... a little more classic!"
[Activating Emergency Ability: Arhat Shadow Kick!]
I didn't know what "Arhat Shadow Kick" was, but the System had activated it, and memories of the Shaolin movements I had learned flooded my mind. With the remaining strength I had, I swung my leg, not with an elegant cultivation technique, but with a basic kick that Shaolin monks once taught, but now empowered by Strangeness Energy. The kick was simple, yet strangely, it felt incredibly fast and precise.
Whoosh! BOOM!
A wave of strange energy, not golden like the dragon's, not pure like spiritual, but a chaotic yet powerful vortex of energy, shot from my leg, hitting the Golden Dragon's massive claw. The dragon gasped, its eyes wide with disbelief. The energy wave didn't destroy, but... pushed? Disrupted? Messed up its Qi flow?
The Golden Dragon, for the first time, lost its balance. Its massive body staggered backward with a deafening "Thud! Thud!", hitting the cave wall, creating large cracks and making rocks crumble with a "Crash! Crash!".
I, Chen Ming, the ridiculous beautiful-faced cultivator, who had just died ridiculously for the second time, now stood before the staggering Golden Dragon. This fight had just begun.