The goddess floated off with the attitude of someone being asked to do chores for the first time in centuries.
"I swear on my own name, if I get a splinter carrying firewood, I'm smiting you," she muttered as she disappeared into the jungle.
Finally alone, I dove into the river, splashing quietly into the cool, murky waters. I set a basic trap using vines and sharpened sticks near the river's bend just enough to catch a lazy crocodile for dinner.
But as I swam deeper to inspect the trap, the water grew cold. Unnaturally cold.
That's when I saw it.
A Water Buffalo Monster huge, horned, and armored with slimy, algae-covered plates. Its red eyes opened beneath the surface like lanterns from hell.
It charged without warning.
I twisted to the side, barely dodging as the horns missed me by inches. It spun in the water and came again, tail whipping behind it like a spiked flail. I slammed into a rock, winded but still conscious. I grabbed the sharpest stone I could find and stabbed it into the monster's flank.
The stone shattered.
The buffalo roared through the water. A ripple of pain surged through my arm. Its hide was too tough. I swam upwards, trying to surface but it caught my ankle in its jaws and dragged me back down.
I punched it pointless. I kicked barely escaped. My lungs were burning. I needed air. It came again, mouth open, horns ready.
Just as it surged
Light.
A divine glow speared through the river. The buffalo recoiled, snarling underwater.
Ashley descended like a comet, eyes glowing golden. Her hands lit up with holy energy. A bolt of blinding light struck the monster's side, searing its hide. It thrashed violently, sending up whirlpools, but she struck again divine magic lancing through its skull.
With a final roar, the beast collapsed. Floating. Smoking. Dead.
I floated to the surface, gasping for breath.
She landed beside me like some furious angel, water dripping off her.
"How how did you know I was in trouble?" I panted.
"You're my vessel," she said, chest heaving, cheeks flushed. "If you're in danger, I know it. Always."
I coughed out a laugh. "Oh. So I'm your early warning system now?"
"Something like that."
"But did you gather the firewood?"
Her glare could have melted glaciers. "I did. But my divine robe got torn on a branch! And now I need something to cover myself with."
I blinked.
That's when I noticed her. For the first time really noticed her.
She stood in the fading sunlight, steam rising gently from her soaked form. Her glowing skin glistened with droplets, and her silver-white hair clung to her body. She was barefoot, drenched, and wearing nothing but celestial undergarments that looked too fancy for this world. She looked more like a half-naked painting than a warrior goddess.
And she was staring at me with murder in her eyes.
"You don't look at a goddess when she's not wearing anything!"
I paused.
Then I laughed.
Hard.
Blood trickled from my nose as I wiped my face, still chuckling. "Damn You're actually beautiful."
She blinked, stunned.
"But," I added with a grin, "Who cares if you're naked? You're flat anyway."
"YOU!"
She screamed, face turning tomato-red, then shoved me back into the water with a divine blast that sent me skipping like a rock.
"Cook the buffalo too!"
By the time I dragged the dead monster to shore, the sun was setting behind the trees, throwing amber light across the riverbank. Smoke curled into the evening air as the campfire crackled.
The meat sizzled. It smelled wild, rough, but satisfying. I turned it slowly on a spit, watching the fat drip and hiss into the flames.
Ashley sat across from me, now wrapped in what looked like a leaf cape she'd hastily stitched together. Her face was turned away, still burning red.
We didn't talk for a while.
The only sounds were fire, meat, and jungle birds.
Finally, I spoke.
"So this is our first date?"
She threw a stick at my head.