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Chapter 22 - A Hero's Burden

[2356 A.D., Blueford Colony, L-2 Colony Cluster]

'It's hard to believe that it's already been ten years.' Elias thought to himself as he stood on the bridge of the Victory while looking through the ship's massive viewport.

A decade had passed since the infamous Battle of New Haven, and in that time, Elias's life had changed considerably. These days, the green-eyed man was known as one of the most prominent figures within the Colonial Navy. A man with a reputation that preceded him everywhere he went. And although he was still the commander of the CSS Victory, Elias was also now the leader of an elite squadron of stealth ships that served as the spearhead of the 2nd Fleet and was known as the pride of the Colonial Navy.

Naturally, a position like the one he had now hadn't come easily. There was a certain weight that seemed to be ever-present on the man's shoulders whenever his squadron embarked on a mission. Every decision, every order, every move that he made was scrutinized by a system that expected nothing less than perfection. And to be honest, Elias found it to be a bit suffocating at times.

That being said, not once did the man allow himself to shrink in the face of a challenge. At this point in his career, failure wasn't an option for Elias. To do so would be nothing short of a betrayal of all the work he had done up until this point. And his accomplishments thus far have more than proven that he was capable of being where he is now.

"Captain, you have a visitor." The voice of Commander Nakagawa, the Ghost Squadron's second-in-command, broke Elias out of his thoughts.

The raven-haired woman, who had been on the ship ever since it was first put into service, was a steady presence aboard the Victory. A presence that many of the younger sailors and marines greatly appreciated. Elias was glad that he chose her to be Herrera's replacement after he himself became a squadron Captain two years ago. The woman really did make his life way easier than it would've been without her.

Elias gave a short nod and turned his head toward the woman. Luckily for him, he already knew who had come to visit him. After all, it was pretty hard not to when his superiors made such a big fuss over it a few days ago. "Send her in, please."

Not even ten seconds later, the door slid open to reveal a figure that Elias recognized all too well: his aunt, Kara Howell. The former Fleet Admiral of the Colonial Navy was now a prominent member of the Colonial Senate. Even though she wasn't technically his boss anymore, the red-headed woman proved to be a steady voice of reason in a world that often felt too politicized and unorthodox for someone like Elias. A man who had always prided himself on doing his duty and keeping himself out of all that nonsense.

"Captain Thorton." The woman said with a slick smirk. She was wearing her typical attire, which was a clean and simple tailored suit, now that she had left her military uniform behind. But even without the uniform, her posture and poise carried the unmistakable authority that came as a result of her many years of service.

"Senator Howell." Elias said while turning around and giving her a respectful nod. "What brings you to the Victory?"

"What? I can't use my connections to visit my favorite nephew and see how he's holding up?" She replied. "And maybe impress upon him some of my vast and unquestioning wisdom while I'm here?"

Elias offered the woman a forced grin. He was well aware that this visit wasn't entirely casual. "If you've come to lecture me about not transferring over to the 1st Fleet, you can save your breath. I've already heard it all from Admiral Brix."

Kara stepped further into the room before taking a seat in the captain's chair directly to the man's left. "It's not a lecture, Elias. I'm just concerned, that's all."

"Trust me, I'm fine." Elias muttered, though the words seemingly lacked conviction. His eyes then flickered to the starry expanse beyond the ship's viewport. Like so many times before, the man found himself lost in thought while looking out at the millions of stars that decorated the endless sky before him.

"Are you?" The Senator asked, her tone more probing now than it was before. "Don't you think that it's time for you to take some time off, Elias? Maybe even take up a staff officer position for a few years? I get that you're committed to making sure that you do your job and all, but everyone needs a break every once in a while. You know that you don't have to be everyone's perfect little sailor, right?"

The man sighed deeply and ran a metallic hand through his curly, dark hair. "I've built a career on being perfect. But, honestly...sometimes I wonder if that's even enough anymore. I'll admit that I've been finding it a bit difficult to keep up the act over the last couple of months, though. But, I don't want to crumple under the weight of everyone's expectations of me."

"I understand, believe me." The woman said softly. "But have you ever just taken some time to stop and smell the roses? Think about it, that whole Jupiter expedition you did five years ago. That was probably the last time I saw you truly alive. It was the first time you were part of something that was bigger than just military tactics or political strategies. You were part of something exploratory, something that made you feel... free."

Elias's mind began to flash back at the mention of the Jupiter expedition.

The expedition in question was a year-long journey through the second half of the solar system. A journey that, in Elias's own admission, had been one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling experiences of his life. For the first time in a long time, Elias had felt connected to the universe in a way that was beyond simple words. Not as a sailor, but as an explorer, maybe even an adventurer.

The mission had been a joint operation between the Colonial Navy and a group of government scientists meant to lay the groundwork for humanity's future expansion into the outer planets. One that took them all the way to the moon of Titan to establish a functioning research outpost that would serve as the springboard for eventual colonization. The days spent out there, in the unknown and chaotic silence of unconquered space, had been some of the happiest in his life. It was truly his first chance to be exactly what he always wanted to be.

"That was a different time." Elias said calmly. "You know...before I was in charge of an entire squadron of ships and was responsible for the lives of over a hundred people."

Senator Howell leaned forward, her eyes narrowing with concern. "You're thinking about it too much, Elias. Trust me. I seriously think it's time for you to stop stressing out over maintaining this ridiculous image of yours. You're still human after all."

Elias paused before quickly changing subjects. He really wasn't in the mood to have this conversation right now. "I was recently informed that they're thinking about promoting me to Rear Admiral. If I get it, I'd be the youngest in history."

Kara raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is that right? And what do you think about that?"

"I..I don't even know. Honestly, I think that Admiral Brix is trying to trap me into taking over the fleet once he finally retires." His voice trailed off. "But, am I even ready for something like that?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" The redhead's voice was soft but insistent. "Is that what you want, though? To be an Admiral? To be remembered as the perfect officer, the man who never made a mistake? Take it from somewhere who's been there, these are the kinds of questions that you're going to need to answer before it's too late."

The silence between the two stretched on for what felt like minutes, barely broken by the faint hum of the Victory's engines.

Elias then thought of his son, Remy, in that moment. The boy had just turned ten and was already trying to become more independent. The little rascal even went so far as to challenge his father's authority a couple of times to prove that he was tough. In some ways, that alone made Elias feel older, more uncertain. He then thought of Marida, his wife, who had stood by him through it all, but even she could sense the distance growing between them. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time to two of them had even gone out on a date?

"Maybe you're right." Elias said, finally meeting Kara's gaze. "Maybe I do need to take a vacation. You know...and maybe take some time to rediscover why I joined the Navy in the first place."

Kara smiled victoriously before her expression softened. "Well...whatever you decide, brat, just make sure it's for you. The stars are still out there, and it's not like they're going to change anytime soon. Maybe it's time for you to remember what you were looking for when you first set out into space."

As the woman stood up to leave, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Take a step back, Elias. You've earned the right to take a break. Just don't forget-life in space, real space, isn't about being perfect. It's about the adventure. Try not to forget that, alright?"

As Elias watched her leave, her words echoed in his mind. The stars beckoned once more, but this time, he didn't feel the persistent need to chase them like he had in the past.

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