— "Touch= pregnacy"
Dust and Silk
Amaka and Ngozi were walking home after a long afternoon of play, arms swinging, wrappers swaying with confidence, when Ngozi suddenly elbowed Amaka lightly.
"Amaka. Amaka look — see that one hiding face like she's allergic to sunlight."
Amaka squinted.
It was Chisom.
Once upon a time, she had been their closest friend — the third member of their gossip trio. Until about four months ago when her waist started widening, her cheeks got round, and her uniform stopped buttoning properly.
Then… boom.
Pregnant.
The rumor was that one okada boy from the next village did it. The kind of boy whose mouth smells like exhaust pipe. And since the belly showed, Chisom had stopped talking to anybody. She walked fast, avoided eye contact, and no longer came to hang with Amaka and Ngozi at their favorite gossip spot near the cassava mill.
And today? She was walking ahead of them, pretending not to hear their steps.
Amaka's eyes lit up.
"NGOZI."
"What?"
"See her now! Chisom the ghost. Chisom the avoider. Chisom the receiver of blessings from touching!"
Ngozi held in a laugh. "She's walking fast o. Belle makes people hurry."
"Let's call her."
"Let's shout."
"Let's be loud."
Together, in stereo, they yelled:
"CHIIIIIIISOOOOOMMMMM!"
The girl flinched like she got slapped by wind. But she didn't turn.
Amaka cupped her mouth and yelled again. "You can't hide o! Pregnancy is louder than our voices!"
Ngozi burst into laughter. "So she can't even say hi again."
"She thinks we're enemies because she went to test the act of touching ."
Amaka leaned closer to Ngozi, pretending to whisper but saying it loud enough for Chisom to hear.
"My mummy told me, Ngozi… the moment a man touches your skin like this — piam! Pregnancy!"
Ngozi gasped. "Just like that?"
"Just like that o. You see me, I dodge male touch like rain. That tailor boy has been trying to touch my arm since last week. Me? I bend like snake."
Ngozi laughed, "Same! That one in my street tried to greet me last week, I said 'DON'T! My mother said touch equals twins.'"
Chisom kept walking faster, head bowed, belly gently bouncing.
"She can't sit with us again," Amaka said, arms folded. "Now she'll be sitting in front with aunties during weddings. No more suya, no more gossip, just feeding bottle and shame."
"Ahh! Feeding bottle and shame! Amaka stop!"
Amaka smirked. "Tell me I'm lying."
They both laughed so loud, people nearby started looking.
"Next thing," Amaka added, "she'll say it was mistake. But the mistake lasted how many seconds?! Please."
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As they turned the corner near Ijele's compound, a shadow blocked their path.
Ngozi whispered under her breath. "Oh no."
It was Chike.
The one boy that Amaka hated with all her energy.
He had been disturbing her since JSS3. Following her, writing her name in books, bringing her bush meat as gift, and saying things like "My heart dances whenever you pass."
But Chike was not the type to be danced over.
He was short.
He had one brow thicker than the other.
His voice cracked when he spoke.
And he smelled permanently like goat and bad perfume.
He grinned when he saw them.
"Ngozi! My beautiful sister!"
Ngozi nodded without stopping.
Then he turned to Amaka.
"Amaka. My angel from heaven. My destiny helper. My—"
"Pause," Amaka said. "Pause right there."
He blinked. "Eh?"
"Don't say one more thing. Don't let thunder confuse you today."
"But Amaka, I—"
She stepped forward and pointed at his chest.
"Let me say this once. God will never forgive me if I lie. You — you that resemble awu — a whole goat — you think me and you were destined together?"
Ngozi choked on her laugh.
"Me? Your angel? Me that my destiny is Princeton, Abuja, London? You that smells like roasted lizard, you want to drag my future with me?!"
"Amaka—"
"No! Chike. You and me will NEVER happen. Even in a dream. Even in a vision. Even if we're the last people on Earth — I will marry air."
Ngozi collapsed into laughter.
Chike tried again. "But I've been loving you for years."
"Love yourself first!" Amaka shouted. "Have you looked in mirror this week?! Your head looks like it's balancing on faith!"
He tried to reach for her hand. Amaka dodged like a mosquito passed.
"Don't touch me o! I don't want what Chisom caught!"
Ngozi added, "If touch equals pregnancy, then Chike's touch equals village disgrace."
They both hissed so loud, birds flew from the tree.
And without another word, they walked off, arms swinging again, as Amaka muttered, "Even if he was the last bottle of Coke in the desert, I'd still drink water."
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Later in the Evening
By the time Amaka got home, she had removed her slippers, tied her wrapper tighter, and rubbed powder on her chest like every proud village girl after a long day of battle.
She met her mother outside, still sitting on her usual plastic chair, fanning herself with an old copy of Daily Sun. A pot of stew was boiling somewhere nearby, the aroma floating through the compound like a soft hymn.
As soon as Mama Amaka saw her daughter's face, she squinted.
"You again."
"Mummy, good evening."
"Which kind evening? You that have turned the whole village into your wrestling ring. You think you're Hulk Hogan?"
Amaka dropped her bag and flopped on the low bench.
"Mummy. You won't believe today's episode."
"Which one again?"
She took a deep breath, raised her voice slightly, and began like she was telling the plot of a telenovela.
"So after the well play wahala, me and Ngozi were walking back… and we now saw our old friend Chisom."
Her mum sat up.
"Chisom? The pregnant one?"
"Yes o. She was walking like she swallowed water drum."
Mama Amaka hissed. "Pregnancy has reshaped her destiny."
"She tried to dodge us. You know that dodge people do when they know shame is taller than them?"
"Uhum."
"I shouted her name. She did like she no hear. Ngozi said we should call her again. We did. Still, she was doing like her ears traveled to Lagos."
Mama Amaka laughed, covering her mouth. "You this girl!"
"But mummy, you always say if a man touches you like this—" Amaka touched her mother's arm dramatically "—just small touch—piam! Pregnancy."
"Yes now! If their skin brushes yours, you will just see your period pause like it's on vacation."
"So that's what we said! We told her: 'See you. You allowed touching. See you now. Pregnant. Shame. Alone.'"
Her mum started laughing fully now. "Chisom used to be sharp o. But she fell inside sweet mouth."
Amaka leaned in. "Mummy, do you know the boy that got her pregnant wears jeans with one torn knee?"
"Jesus!"
"His head is shaped like small cooler. And he has one eye that's always blinking like it's on generator."
"Ahhh! That's who entered Chisom's life?!"
"Yes o. And now she walks like she's balancing a calabash under her gown."
Mama Amaka wiped a tear of laughter. "My God. My God of thunder. Strike foolishness in our daughters!"
Amaka crossed her leg like one aunty gossiping in church compound. "Mummy that's not all. CHIKE appeared."
Her mother's smile vanished. "That smelling boy again?"
"Yes o! He came to block us on the road. He said I'm his destiny. That me and him are meant to be together."
"Tufiakwa! Destiny my left foot. That boy smells like fried sorrow."
"Mummy the worst part… he said I'm his angel from heaven."
Mama Amaka stared.
Then she burst out laughing so hard she dropped her fan. "Angel kwa?! Ahhh! If you're angel, then he is Archangel Lucifer!"
"Mummy I insulted him o."
"You should've poured him pepper water."
"I said, 'Even if we're the last people on Earth, I will marry air.'"
Her mum screamed. "AMAKA!"
"Then I added, 'Your head is balancing on faith.'"
Mama Amaka was wheezing now. "You'll kill me!"
Amaka wiped imaginary sweat from her forehead. "Mummy, today has been long. But one thing I know…"
"What?"
She sat up, dead serious. "All these boys disturbing me… if they don't rest, I'll start charging gate fee."
Her mum clapped her hands slowly. "You better keep that your beauty and mouth under control. Because one day, one stubborn man will toast you with Range Rover and you'll start folding wrapper for him like Mummy Emeka."
"God forbid o!" Amaka said quickly.
"I'm watching you," her mother warned. "Your front is too sharp. Just small now, they'll start bringing bride price."
"Let them come," Amaka said. "But let them bring goats and perfume first — before I even consider."
Her mum paused.
"You're a fool."
"I know."
They both laughed again, the kind of laugh that makes neighbours peep from window and wonder what's going on.
A gentle wind passed through the compound, and Amaka stretched her arms.
"Mummy."
"Hmm?"
"You didn't even ask me if I won the fights today."
Her mum looked at her sideways. "Do you ever lose?"
"Exactly."
She stood and walked inside proudly, like someone returning from war, leaving her mother outside shaking her head and smiling at the storm she had raised.
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