I can not start this story off without saying this, she stinks. You might think this is some joke of a novel, some strange author that's pulling my leg.
But really this is the story of Amy Stink, as written by me, god. Ironic name, I know. Trust me I didn't change her last name, just a little bit. Okay maybe I did but that's besides the point.
I'm the god of this world. I've seen its creation, the birth of humanity, and quite frankly everything everywhere at all possible times.
But never, and I mean never did I think a random girl named Amy would incinerate the universe because she smells inconceivably bad.
I'm not saying this to hype up this story, no I literally mean your feeble mortal mind could not even imagine the stench of this woman. If there was a blade that could slay me, it would simply be this very beings stench. I had to fight beyond death itself to destroy her existence, and the only way I could do that?
Banish her to an entirely different dimension, where powers are seldom. I don't even think there are more ways I could describe to you of how much she actually smells, so let me tell you some of her recent feats.
I swear to god, actually no I swear on my life. She once got lost in space, and drifted a bit too close to a black hole. Cool right? That's the end of the story, she gets sucked into oblivion, her entire body compressed into something incomprehensible.
BUT NO… THE BLACK HOLE CATCHES A WHIFF OF HER AND SELF IMPLODES…
And that's one of her lesser feats, she's wiped out her entire super powered civilization. Everyone, just kaboom gone. And that was after she was born with her power, imagine the poor mothers face?
She carried her daughter for nine months in her stomach, only for that very same daughter to instantaneously wipe out the entire earth. She quite LITERALLY poisoned the air in the world, minutes after being born. Do you know how fucking ridiculous that is?
She smells so bad the metaphorical rules of things like hunger, dehydration, disease, aging, even death. Stopped working.
ALL FROM THE MOMENT SHE WAS BORN. SHE WAS PRACTICALLY A GOD SINCE DAY ONE… NO FROM THE FIRST NANOSECOND, FROM THE EXACT COORDINATE OF TIME SHE WAS BORN. THE BASTARD CAN'T EVEN CRAWL, AND SHE HAD DESTROYED THE RULES OF EXISTENCE.
Sorry, I got a bit emotional. Anyway, this child had practically become a god so there wasn't much hope for my plain of reality. So like a good god, I attempted to slay the baby. Okay, it sounds worse then it is. But, if absolute destruction, unbridled evilness and inescapable death itself was born. You'd probably want to send this chubby faced demon off to some other dimension too…
Anyway, this is all besides the point. Let's get back to describing how much she actually stinks, best way I could describe it to any humans reading this.
Imagine you have a witch, she's brewing something magical. Magical and vile, something that breaks the world because of whatever bull shit magic they use.
Anyway, inside this pot is the rotting flesh of a rat that has lived off nothing but shit, since the creation of time itself. As well as the very first egg in the universe, left rotting for millennia, lets say it was smeared in the corpse of every single being to ever have lived, just to keep up the imagery. And lastly, all thioctane to have ever existed in the entire universe compressed into a singular marble, if you aren't good at science look that one up.
All of that said, that is an infintile percent of how much it would stink, when compared to this girl. Infinity doesn't do it justice, it's better to just say that it is zero percent, zero over infinity as a fraction, infinite zeroes with no decimal place
Now that you are caught up, it will be good for you to know. As a humble god, a being above all, the most powerful force in the universe, or maybe every reality to ever have existed or will exist.
This bitch fucking stinks.
So don't be too upset with me when I say this.
I battled to death against a new born baby. Got wounded past death, quite literally. Then in a final stand before being depleted from my very existence, I decided to offload this same baby to another dimension because I was scared.
Now you're probably curious, how could anyone possibly live past death? Well, to that I ask you. Death has long since passed away, passed away is a nice way to say it I guess. But realistically he has been obliterated from existence.
When did this happen you might ask?
WHEN SHE GENOCIDED AN ENTIRE WORLD IN SECONDS MAYBE?
Death was strong enough to take care of most of humanity, as he was practically just doing his job in an strange enviornment. Think what it would be like for a billionaire to set up office in a sewage system.
And deaths workspace has never particularly been all too clean, pristine, and elevating. He's seen war, nations fall, crumble. And quite frankly the worst of civilization.
AND THIS WAS WHAT MADE HIM CONTRAST THIS JOB TO A SEWER.
Well, guess I did that but you get my drift. Anyway, sadly he made the mistake of going to bring this stinky babies mother to the afterlife.
And that was his last ever decision. And the worst one he's made since I took out a part of myself, and created him. I could barely exist within a light year of this being, being a meter away at most? Instant destruction erasure of your very being.
And that's the story of how death was removed from the world, fun story right? Anyway this baby can simply not be a baby, it's as if every evil thing that has been born in every plain of existence ever had been merged into one single form.
And that form?
This stinking woman.